You know you're from Britain when....
You believe that Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday are all good nights for drinking. Sunday all day is also entirely reasonable.
You're always a half an hour late to work ... no-one notices or cares.
Coming to work with a hangover is entirely accepted and indeed expected at least once a week.
You step over a drunk in the tube station rather than offering to help them.
Hookers and the homeless are invisible.
You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
Your door has more than three locks.
You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.
You consider Essex the "countryside"
You think Hyde Park is "nature."
You haven't seen more than twelve stars in the night sky since you went camping as a kid.
You own hiking boots and a 4WD vehicle, neither of which have ever touched dirt.
You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.
Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing on your toes.
£50 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag.
You don't even bother looking out of the window when you get up in the morning to check what the day is like. You know it is overcast.
You consider a suit to be normal attire for the pub.
You expect men to actually cut, comb and style their hair (using hair products). And to wear decent clothes.
You think £40 for a haircut is quite reasonable... and you don't think twice about tipping your hairdresser
You can't remember what 'customer service' means.
More than three hours sunlight on summer days seems excessive.
You finish every sentence with 'Cheers' or 'Yeah'.
You only just realise you have lost your sun glasses. You left them in Greece 2 summers ago.
You like English cuisine. I mean, it's hard to beat a full English breakfast.
You are on to your 6th umbrella and your second overcoat... this year
You've bought a disposable baby BBQ from Tesco.
A day at the beach means wearing the warmest clothes you own while standing on golf ball-size pebbles and the thought of swimming doesn't even enter your head.
You always call soccer football and you have a team and it's not Manchester United.
You don't think twice about buying a packaged sandwich.
A sunny lunchtime means searching for a patch of grass and stripping off practically down to your underwear
You've accepted queuing as a way of life.
You believe that every American is a fatass addicted to hamburgers and hotdogs.
You despise the French (but then, who doesn't?).
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Love Note for the Brits |
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Kris Ritter
paradoxical embolism
Join date: 31 Oct 2003
Posts: 6,627
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11-19-2004 02:48
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Willow Zander
Having Blahgasms
Join date: 22 May 2004
Posts: 9,935
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11-19-2004 02:51
You know you're from Britain when.... You believe that Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday are all good nights for drinking. Sunday all day is also entirely reasonable. You're always a half an hour late to work ... no-one notices or cares. Coming to work with a hangover is entirely accepted and indeed expected at least once a week. You step over a drunk in the tube station rather than offering to help them. Hookers and the homeless are invisible. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual. Your door has more than three locks. You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression. You consider Essex the "countryside" You think Hyde Park is "nature." You haven't seen more than twelve stars in the night sky since you went camping as a kid. You own hiking boots and a 4WD vehicle, neither of which have ever touched dirt. You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you. Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing on your toes. £50 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag. You don't even bother looking out of the window when you get up in the morning to check what the day is like. You know it is overcast. You consider a suit to be normal attire for the pub. You expect men to actually cut, comb and style their hair (using hair products). And to wear decent clothes. You think £40 for a haircut is quite reasonable... and you don't think twice about tipping your hairdresser You can't remember what 'customer service' means. More than three hours sunlight on summer days seems excessive. You finish every sentence with 'Cheers' or 'Yeah'. You only just realise you have lost your sun glasses. You left them in Greece 2 summers ago. You like English cuisine. I mean, it's hard to beat a full English breakfast. You are on to your 6th umbrella and your second overcoat... this year You've bought a disposable baby BBQ from Tesco. A day at the beach means wearing the warmest clothes you own while standing on golf ball-size pebbles and the thought of swimming doesn't even enter your head. You always call soccer football and you have a team and it's not Manchester United. You don't think twice about buying a packaged sandwich. A sunny lunchtime means searching for a patch of grass and stripping off practically down to your underwear You've accepted queuing as a way of life. You believe that every American is a fatass addicted to hamburgers and hotdogs. You despise the French (but then, who doesn't?). LMAO, Oh those are SO damn true, you made me spit my Diet Coke avec Lemon all over my keyboard, now my brother is going to kill me  its my 3rd one already... Yeah..._____________________
*I'm not ready for the world outside...I keep pretending, but I just can't hide...* <3 Giddeon's <3 |
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Kris Ritter
paradoxical embolism
Join date: 31 Oct 2003
Posts: 6,627
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11-19-2004 03:29
Brit Joke...
A WW II American soldier had been on the front lines in Europe for three months, when he was finally given a week of R&R. He caught a supplyboat to a supply base in the south of England, then caught a train to London. The train was extremely crowded and he could not find a seat. He was dead on this feet and walked the length of the train looking for any place to sit down. Finally he found a compartment with seats facing each other; there was room for two people on each seat. On one side sat only a proper looking, older British lady, with a small dog sitting in the empty seat beside her. "Could I please sit in that seat" he asked. The lady was insulted; "you Americans are so rude" she said, "can't you see my dog is sitting there"? He walked through the train more and still could not find a seat. He found himself back at the same place. "Lady, I love dogs - have a couple at home - so I would be glad to hold your dog if I can sit down" he said. The lady replied "you Americans are not only rude you are arrogant" she said. He leaned against the wall for a time, but was so tired he finally said "lady, I've been on the front lines in Europe for three months with not a decent rest for all that time; could I please sit there and hold your dog?" The lady replied "you Americans are not only rude and arrogant, you are also obnoxious." With that comment, the soldier calmly stepped in, picked up the dog, threw it out the window, and sat down. The lady was speechless. An older, neatly dressed Englishman sitting across on the other seat spoke up. "Young man, I do not know if all you Americans fit the lady's description of you or not. But I do know that you Americans do a lot of things wrong. You drive on the wrong side of the road, you hold your fork with the wrong hand, and now you have just thrown the wrong bitch out of the window." |
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Azreal Rubio
PrimHead
Join date: 29 Jan 2004
Posts: 194
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11-19-2004 03:37
"Young man, I do not know if all you Americans fit the lady's description of you or not. But I do know that you Americans do a lot of things wrong. You drive on the wrong side of the road, you hold your fork with the wrong hand, and now you have just thrown the wrong bitch out of the window." Lol too funny  _____________________
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Willow Zander
Having Blahgasms
Join date: 22 May 2004
Posts: 9,935
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11-19-2004 03:40
For anyone thats interested, this is my and my mad mad work colleagues for Children In Need 2004
 Mad Mad Uni Life _____________________
*I'm not ready for the world outside...I keep pretending, but I just can't hide...* <3 Giddeon's <3 |
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Kris Ritter
paradoxical embolism
Join date: 31 Oct 2003
Posts: 6,627
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11-19-2004 03:43
For anyone thats interested, this is my and my mad mad work colleagues for Children In Need 2004 Mad Mad Uni Life  scawwy.I bet a lot of ejukashun is happening today. uhuh.  |
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Willow Zander
Having Blahgasms
Join date: 22 May 2004
Posts: 9,935
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11-19-2004 03:45
LOL
I am hiding in my office, I refuse to leave.. REFUSE I SAY, cept I have service desk from 3-5, DAMN IT.... But tis all for charidy _____________________
*I'm not ready for the world outside...I keep pretending, but I just can't hide...* <3 Giddeon's <3 |
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MrsJakal Suavage
Purple Butterfly
Join date: 18 Jul 2004
Posts: 1,434
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11-19-2004 07:52
Hiya Willow, I noticed in your pics you have "I <3 J" on your hand...who is the "J"??? Inquiring minds wanna know hehe
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Dismay Wilde
Bleed Designs Owner
Join date: 12 Aug 2004
Posts: 1,771
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11-19-2004 08:16
Bah. Ugly indeed... you are teh sexeh cuteh sl00teh! Btw, are the forums FUCKING BORING OR WHAT today?! it was boring cuz we all was asleep.. lol _____________________
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Willow Zander
Having Blahgasms
Join date: 22 May 2004
Posts: 9,935
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11-19-2004 08:18
Hiya Willow, I noticed in your pics you have "I <3 J" on your hand...who is the "J"??? Inquiring minds wanna know hehe J = Jesse Jesse = Fred Extraordinaire Or justin timberlake, but only cos fred will never see what i just put _____________________
*I'm not ready for the world outside...I keep pretending, but I just can't hide...* <3 Giddeon's <3 |
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Dismay Wilde
Bleed Designs Owner
Join date: 12 Aug 2004
Posts: 1,771
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11-19-2004 08:19
awwww thats sweeeet!
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Willow Zander
Having Blahgasms
Join date: 22 May 2004
Posts: 9,935
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11-19-2004 08:21
cos i am sweet, and not the nasty things some ppl accuse me off
*flutters eyelashes*  _____________________
*I'm not ready for the world outside...I keep pretending, but I just can't hide...* <3 Giddeon's <3 |
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MrsJakal Suavage
Purple Butterfly
Join date: 18 Jul 2004
Posts: 1,434
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11-19-2004 08:22
awwwwww that is swaaaeeeet
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Dismay Wilde
Bleed Designs Owner
Join date: 12 Aug 2004
Posts: 1,771
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11-19-2004 08:23
buullllshit if ur innocent wtf does that make me? LOL
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Willow Zander
Having Blahgasms
Join date: 22 May 2004
Posts: 9,935
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11-19-2004 08:23
a manic yiffer, and please don't bullshit me, don't need my own family doubting my innocence dissypoos
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*I'm not ready for the world outside...I keep pretending, but I just can't hide...* <3 Giddeon's <3 |
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Dismay Wilde
Bleed Designs Owner
Join date: 12 Aug 2004
Posts: 1,771
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11-19-2004 08:25
rofl i sound like a killer!!
the MANIC YIFFER IS COMING RUUUNNN!!! _____________________
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Rose Karuna
Lizard Doctor
Join date: 5 Jun 2004
Posts: 3,772
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11-19-2004 08:26
Go on a banana and baked bean diet for a week. Preferably a week when you dont have to be around too many people. It may be an antisocial diet but it works LMAO - WTF Kris? That actually sounds dangerous (for those around you anyway). _____________________
I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To
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MrsJakal Suavage
Purple Butterfly
Join date: 18 Jul 2004
Posts: 1,434
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11-19-2004 08:27
****runs**** _____________________
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Dismay Wilde
Bleed Designs Owner
Join date: 12 Aug 2004
Posts: 1,771
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11-19-2004 08:27
*gets down to her fur and grabs Ark's sword and runs after all* Mwhahaha manic yiffer on the looooossseeee
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MrsJakal Suavage
Purple Butterfly
Join date: 18 Jul 2004
Posts: 1,434
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11-19-2004 08:30
Willowwwwwwwwww its all your fault, you created a Manic Yiffer!!!!
***screams and runs out of thread*** _____________________
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Willow Zander
Having Blahgasms
Join date: 22 May 2004
Posts: 9,935
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11-19-2004 08:32
Oh look our fun, jokey thread got closed, yet the one personal attacking Kris is still open, shocked.. nah... disgusted.. .yesh..
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*I'm not ready for the world outside...I keep pretending, but I just can't hide...* <3 Giddeon's <3 |
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MrsJakal Suavage
Purple Butterfly
Join date: 18 Jul 2004
Posts: 1,434
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11-19-2004 08:33
Oh look our fun, jokey thread got closed, yet the one personal attacking Kris is still open, shocked.. nah... disgusted.. .yesh.. Yep I just saw that, Unbelievable. I'm highly dissapointed _____________________
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Dismay Wilde
Bleed Designs Owner
Join date: 12 Aug 2004
Posts: 1,771
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11-19-2004 08:33
Wheelie created a monster!
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Dismay Wilde
Bleed Designs Owner
Join date: 12 Aug 2004
Posts: 1,771
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11-19-2004 08:34
Oh look our fun, jokey thread got closed, yet the one personal attacking Kris is still open, shocked.. nah... disgusted.. .yesh.. yeah i saw that.. i went to the sl00ts forum where i can have fun rofl _____________________
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Willow Zander
Having Blahgasms
Join date: 22 May 2004
Posts: 9,935
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11-19-2004 08:34
double standards, i say, its NOT ok for us to be jokey, did we offend anyone no, did anyone complain, if they did, they are obviously humourless, yet the flame willow and kris and personally attack them thread is still open.. hmmmm
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*I'm not ready for the world outside...I keep pretending, but I just can't hide...* <3 Giddeon's <3 |
