Forum "Business" Spilling over into in-world SL

Last night, I got an nasty-ish IM in-world from someone who posts in the forums vis-a-vis the crap that's been going in in this forum over the last couple of days.

The content isn't particularly important. What is important is that I have some concerns about people carrying forum "business" from here to in-world.

The way I have always approached message boards is that what happens on a board stays on the board and doesn't spill into RL. By extension, I personally wouldn't carry stuff from this forum back into SL.

If someone has a problem with someone else to the degree that they have to carry ill feelings elsewhere, it is far better to deal with that person *in private* to resolve any issues that may be present. And if someone truly despises someone due to what someone posts on a message board, the might want to reconsider their priorities. (I think Eboni wrote that in another thread).

It really bugs me (and I suspect would bug others) that someone would track someone down in-world to give them shit about something.

That's all I have to say about it.

No drama, no angry words, no rancor.

The moderators here tell us if we have issues with posters to take it in world with them via IM or Private Messages here...

The forums AND the SL world are one.
Everyone who posts here should be able (and expected) to
be responsible for their words and actions.

Lord knows Anshe's (and others) in-world actions
puts them through the fire here in the forums.

If you say it.... be willing to LIVE with the effects.

Gabrielle

I think the mutual drawing of Seburos at twenty paces in Jessie is the preferred means of in-world conflict resolution.

Yup.

Everyone does not play by your rules. Forum issues frequently spill over to the grid. If you frequently post, people notice you. If you are positive, people look for you in-world to praise you. If you come off as a complete asshole (not saying that you are an asshole), you will collect negs and get griefed. It is just the way things are.

There is a difference between two parties taking a private discussion inworld and one party harassing a second party inworld.

The inworld mute will probably do an acceptable job of solving the problem of harassing messages from people you can avoid being in public chat range of. Of course if they are in your view and chat space you might want to know what they are saying about you so muting them isn't completely satisfying.

If people do things such as use pushweapons against forum enemies one may of course use the PvP report abuse report function for every attack.

As a side note, a forum argument with someone caused me to receive a triple neg rate with a message that made me laugh out loud:

<name withheld> has rated you negatively:

COCKSUCKER!!!!

The person in question is normally really eloquent, and it was just so riduclously crude and out of character that I could not stop laughing. I rated them back triple positive and thanked them for making me laugh.

I am having hard time reconciling what you said above with the main premise of your post. Isn't approaching someone in SL, one-on-one, "in private" that you suggest above? If not what would be the private way to deal with that person to resolve any issues? can you elaborate?

I don't think it is that they were approached privately - I think it is that they were attacked in world via IM. There is a difference between "hey, let's talk about this" vs "YOU STUPID FUCKING ASSHOLE!".

Unless corrected in a particular case, I always assume the person posting in the forums under a certain username is the same person in-world with that username. If there is any accountability (I mean strictly on a personal level) for what people say to me or about me, I don't see why the medium in which it was said should matter.

Ok that would clarify it. Isn't that considered in world harrasment that one can report though?

Private messages within the forum might be the better of the two alternatives presented. They allow someone control over the timing in which one reads or responds to a communication which inworld messaging does not. It can be trying to muster the required mental attitude if hit with an im when your intention was to utilize SL for something like relaxation or building at that particular time.

For those who would like to communicate in private with forum members, one should remember that the User CP Edit Profile option allows one to fill in slots for your home page, and your screen name, handle, or other id for ICQ, AIM, MSN and Yahoo Messenger.

I don't want to speak for DogSpot - based upon reading the post, it seems more that they are just surprised someone would take a disagreement in the forums to that level.

I agree with Margaret. (Except that sometimes I guess a person's in-box might be full or their messages turned off.)

As you know, I'm against taking things in world. "Let's get together and work this out" is fine and good (even if it doesn't work) - but not neg-rating people in world (though I understand the frustration that leads to it), or IM'ing them to say "yay, I hope you get banned."

The forums are for discussion with everybody. In world, to me, is where a person is supposed to get to play their game, work, or have fun, not be surprised by some kind of unexpected assault, as Margaret pointed out.

coco

What I read from your posts here and learn about you
DOES affect the way I will act toward you in-world.

I think most people are the same.

If I act like a bitch in the forums I should not be surprised
that people are not nice to me in-world.

If someone is nice and friendly to me in the forums I
will tend to be nice to them in-world.

Well, of COURSE we form feelings, likes and dislikes, toward one another as a result of having discussions in the forums.

That means you may or may not have an inclination to be friendly toward me in world, or vice versa.

That's different, though, from IM'ing someone in SL out of the blue to say something hateful to them. I personally think that's carrying things too far.

Fortunately, most of my "enemies" (a funny word for me, since I have never had any of those before) are kind enough not to do that to me, and we manage to each live our own separate in-world lives without bothering each other.

Most; not all. But most. And I appreciate that. Heck, I don't even bother my FRIENDS much, lol.

coco

I agree. I so dislike hit-and-run nastygrams.

Often I invite people to contact me by PM or email to discuss issues one on one if their comments risk taking a thread off topic. To this day not a single person has ever taken me up on it. (I promise to be nice and everything.)

Once I sought out Cristiano in world after we had a small argument in the forums. Although difficult, the discussion was worthwhile. In the end I understood how SL is less role playing and more real life for folks than I had originally thought as a noob.

~Ulrika~

More than anything, it suprised me.

I can see from the posts here that it's not all that unexpected, so I now know that it's, so to speak, par for the course.

Its Merwan, isnt it?

FWIW, as proof positive that working issues out privately, well, works, the person who I was referring to and I had an excellent IM conversation and worked out why we were say the things we were.

Lies! You imed me and told me if I did not step out of the race for president of SL, something untoward would happen to my cat. You also sent me a modified version of your chicken hat - it was simply a chicken head, and it was chilling! Needless to say, I put Sonic into the Witness Protection Program. His name is now Fluffy and he is living with a family in an undisclosed location in the northeast. I was not going to be threatened by you, though the fact that your avatar stands about a foot taller than mine was intimidating.

Ulrika's av stands even taller with that fun chicken hat! ^_^

I agree, so far both those I disagree with and those I ostenably should agree with in the recent bouts of forum drama should... ah, wait, I actually made a forum picture for JUST such an occasion...