Stupid People

Found this out in the great void....it was good for a laugh


Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could
have an
order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets.

"We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter.
"You
don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply.
"So
I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's
right."S o I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.

TWO
I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the
lady
behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of
those
"dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between
our
things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my
items, she picked up the "divider," looking it all over for the bar code
so
she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know
how
much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll
buy
that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left.
She
had
no clue to what had just happened.

THREE
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and
pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing,
she
said she was shopping on the internet and they kept asking for a credit
card
number,so she was using the ATM "thing"

FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you
need
some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the
battery
to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think
they, (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to
fit
this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No,
just
this
remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I
took
the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive
over
there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."

FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she
was
typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing
paper.
What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told
her.
With
that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on
the
photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

SIX
I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed

into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and
the
whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked the
manager
what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise
control"
and then went in the back to make a sandwich.

SEVEN
My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of
a
large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems
with
their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the
Branch
banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my
terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"

EIGHT
Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by placing a metal
colander on
his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The
message
"He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy
button
each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing
the"lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

NINE
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to
take
her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants, the dispatcher
tells
her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the mother says, I

just gave him some ant killer.....Dispatcher: Rush him in to the
emergency
room!!"

Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid."

oh my, oh my...I almost didn't make it to the end from the stomach cramps and my cheeks are now killing me

Reminds me of the tree that fell across the street from my office...A lady was standing next to me with a beer in one hand looking up at the place where the tree used to stand and said "I wonder what made it fall down?" She walked away when I looked up and said, "Looks like a case of gravity."....

Flippin great post Talen!

Men are born ignorant, not stupid. They are made stupid by education.
-Bertrand Russell



And #5 is the best ^_^

Very funny Talen

I read in a computer magazine once about a guy who phoned his support number to complain that a part of his computer had broken. Which part had he broken - the coffee cup holder. The tec people insisted that their computer did not come with an attached coffee cup holder and after a lengthy conversation, it transpired that he was using
the cd drive for his coffee cup. How pathetic is that.

Alexa

I read a whole page of computer tech ones...the best was this woman who couldn't get the computer to boot up ...it just wouldn't come on. After an hour of this the tech asked if she could check the back of the computer for one more thing....the lady responded "I can't see well back there"....the tech responded " well, turn it around so you can see it in the light" to which she replied " I still won't be able to see it well...the power has been out since last night"

1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.

2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.

3. Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes. After trouble- shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labeled the diskettes then rolled them into the typewriter to type the labels.

4. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with Xeroxed copies of the floppies.

5. A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech to hold on, and was heard putting the phone down, getting up and crossing the room to close the door to his room.

6. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.

7. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually.

8. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid". The tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.

9. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's mouse.

10. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in, and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What power switch?"

11. True story from a Novell NetWire SysOp:

Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
Tech: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, It's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional, at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"
Caller: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a promotional. It just has '24X' on it."

At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he couldn't stand it. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and snapped it off.

I love this post, more proof the more technology we get the stupider people get. Reminds me of the time my sister called me with a "broken" printer and after all the trouble shooting I did over the phone, turns out it wasn't plugged in.

LOL... nice thread Talen. It was nice to end the days work with a good laugh.

Funny tales... the "CD-tray-as-cup-holder" is a perennial classic by now.

Stupidity by itself doesn't concern me as much as stupidity coupled with hostility: for example, the rude feeb who doesn't have the slightest idea how to work Windows XP, yet takes upon it himself to berate and insult Linux tech support. Yeah, I know, it doesn't make sense to me either.

Great post, Talen.

This is my favorite site for tech support stories, Stupid Computer Tricks (complete with photos!)

On usenet is a group called alt.sys.admin.recovery. I used to think that people were making up thease stories. Then I spent two years in tech support hell for a start up ISP. They are all true.

M favorite people are stupid stories involves a lawyer and some accounts we put up for bid on the local PBS auction. After the auction I get a call from this guy who had "picked up your internet from the tv auction" I take down his info and sent out the software. Three days later I get a calll "what's thease things you sent me" I told him the software to get him started. "Oh you need a computer to get on the internet" Now time passes and he calls back. He has gotten a computer. I walk in through the set up process and ask "Now you have one telephone or two" He says "you need phone line to get this internet" Now I have gone from squeezing my stress ball to throwing it against the wall.

To this day I wonder what law school he attended. One of those who advertise in the back of Poplar Mechanics.?

I once asked for a small drink at a restaurant to be told they only had medium, large, and x-tra large. I tried to explain that if they have 3 sizes, the smallest would be small and was told again and again 'no that's medium'.

A coworker last month was shipping newsletters, and asked me if Malaysia was in the US.

Another asked me this month what 28% of 200 is.

In november, a coworker came and said 'you're helpdesk, right?" I said "yes", she said "my stapler is stuck" and handed it to me.

Here's one, from IRC:

A lady comes into Mc'Donalds with her two kids. She orders an Egg Mc'Muffin for herself, and two Mc'Griddles for her kids, one with bacon, one without. The order arrives. The lady is angry and the kids look sad. The counterman asks what's wrong.
"They both got the wrong order."
"Both?"
"Yes, my son who wanted the one with bacon got his without bacon, and my son who wanted the one without bacon, got bacon on his."

o.0

An old friend of mine uses the term "Creeping Meatball-ism" for this kind of thing.

Don't know if he coined it, or got it somewhere...but the Medium/Large/Jumbo thing is always his classic Case In Point.

== danny d.

Dont forget to read up on the classic darwin awards and be thankful that our gene pool would be less of these type of people

Those are great. I like #4 especially, reminds me of something I saw once. I was in a hardware store near my place, picking up milk (Yes, Milk.). The motor on the automated door was broken, and when this one kid tried to leave, he started panicking because he thought we were trapped...

Not only could the door have been pushed, the "Enter" door was wide open...

I buy my cigarettes from a mini-supermarket near where I live. I go there every week, invariably served by the same person. I ask for a multi-pack of Marlboro Lights and every week the person looks at me as though I'm speaking in a foreign language. They then proceed to take pack after pack from the cigarettes and say this one? No I say, Marlboro Lights. They haven't got a clue. When I eventually tell them third row down on the left, they then give me a packet of 10. No I say, a multi-pack (which is 100 cigs). They stand befuddled until I point out the price printed in big letters. They then usually comment - these will last you months won't they. No I say. This all happens while they are having a cosy chat with the check out person next to them. Grrr.

Alexa

Marlboros are only 10 a pack in america?
Here the standard pack size for any cig brand is 20.

Heheh, I've not been in a.s.r for ages. It was going downhill rapidly.

I've never heard anyone call them a multipack....we always call them cartons....as in a carton of cigarettes..then again people down south get their groceries in a sack so what do I know

Marlboros #10 is yet another style of cigarette.....they come in twent packs

Here is some more stupid amusement.

fen-

Those are fabulous...this is my fave so far



Gotta love that duct tape.

Good Ones Talen. I have a personal rl Mcdonald's tale. My daughter always orders plain cheeseburgers. So, we go drive through the drive through, I order a plain cheeseburger, and the order taker asks me if I want cheese on that. I couldn't stop laughing all the way to the pick up window.

This has happened to me twice in 1 year, different people.

Old Lady: Hello is this the IT person?
Me: Yep...how can I help you?
OL: Well, I shut down my computer a few days ago, but it's not shutting down right.
Me: Oooookaaay, what did you do?
OL: Alright, I went to "Start" and clicked on "Shut Down", then I turned off the power.
Me: Ok, then what?
OL: Well, when I came in today, I turned on the power and it said that "It's now safe to shut down your computer"....so I turned off the power again. When I turned it back on it still says the same thing...Been like this for two days.
Me: Um....you are pressing the button on your monitor to power off your computer, arn't you?
OL: What's a monitor?
Me: The...um...screen....the button under the screen, right?
OL: Oh, yes! That's what I'm doing.
Me: Well, you have to push the power button on the actual computer.
OL: I told you, that's what I'm doing.
Me: No, the button on the computer, not the one under the screen...ya know, your computer, the white box with the lights, cables, cd-drive....
OL: Hmm...I don't think I have one of those....
Me: Look under your desk....(pause)
OL: Oh! There it is! You are so good at this. I bet you get this type of call all the time!
Me: Yep....all the time.. (pause)
OL: Well, it seems to be fixed, It's restarting now....
Me: Good, anything else?
OL: Yes, can you help me load AOL on here?
Me: Maybe another time, bye......