Worst Dates?

Ok... inspired by the Are There Any Good Men In SL thread...

Lets hear your dating horror stories!

One of my worst was a blind date (of course). The guy showed up to the restaurant he picked about a half hour late, and then refused to order any food. I was hungry, and wasn't about to play the salad eating girl, so I ordered some nachos. When they came and I started eating them, I swear he almost started salivating, so I offered him some. He chowed down over half my nachos!

Then the bill came, and since he was the one who after our initial phone set up insisted we actually go out, I waited to see if he'd pay the bill. It sat there, and sat there, and finally he said "Ok, I'm gonna be honest with you. I don't have any money, and that's why I couldn't order any food."

After I paid the bill and we were walking out to our cars, he asked me for five dollars for gas money so he could get home.

Oh my worst date was with a young woman who worked for a local state congressman.

We'd met each other a few times, and decided to go have a drink after work. We met at a bar and had a a cocktail, and then she said "umm, so what's your political views, how do you typically vote?" and I said "oh, it depends on the issue" and she just stared at me. Finally she said "you're registered independent, and you're divorced?" and I said "how do you know that?" She said "well, I looked up your voter registration and saw you used to live with a woman with the same last name as you". THis pissed me off, so i said "well you know, actually, I typically vote communist, as the main parties in this country care more about invading privacy of citizens than they do about feeding people".

Date ended about 5 minutes later. I got an email the next day asking me to kindly cease all contact, which I was more than happy to do.

LOL! Nice...

Actually, I took a gorgeous, and I mean fashion model beautiful, girl on a date one time, after meeting her through another girl I was dating, and I ran out of money about halfway through. Was very embarressing. I was a young college student, with a part time job, and used every cent I'd saved on that one date, and it still wasn't enough.

She was very nice about it though

I went out on a double date one time. My friend wanted to date this girl, but she wouldn't go unless her best friend came, so he recruited me, after an hour of me saying no and him pleading. The girl I was supposed to entertain insisted on driving, and we headed for the drive-in. (Yes..this was years ago.)

My date was so friggin nervous, and such a bad driver, that I really felt none of us would live through the night. She ran red lights, blew through stop signs, screeched around corners, the whole time jabbering away like a maniac. I'm used to driving fast, but she almost made me piss my pants, and I had to pry my fingers from the dashboard when we finally stopped.

When we did somehow make it to the movies, she sat stiffly upright, staring straight ahead, and any comments I made, or sudden movements, would cause her to jump.

Meanwhile my friend and his date are all over each other in the back seat, half naked, sighing and moaning, fogging up the windows.

Good times...good times..

Back in my first years at college ... First and last blind date I went on.

He stared at my breasts the whole time, kept grabbing his crotch under the table, talked about how great he is while he was rude to the people at the restaurant. He wouldn't let me leave when I tried to cut the "date" short. And when I stood up he tried to kiss me and even copped a feel. When I pushed him away, he called me that word.

I punched him in the nuts and smacked the napkin dispenser across his face. It didn't end there though.

The asshole turned into a thorn in my side for a few months 'til I finally told my dad. Then Dad took care of it. I never asked how.

When I was a teenager, my parents were very worried about my social development because all I seemed to want to do was read and hang out with my baby brothers. It got so bad that I used to lie to them and say I was going to school dances with guys and then go to the library and hide out reading because I absolutely hated social stuff in school. (My Mom had been the most popular girl in school, a cheer leader and later in life an opera singer). So that sort of says something about how she preceived a daughter of hers should act.

Instead I was a mousey little four eyed math freak who never got her nose out of a book. (Except for few rare occasions where I did things like throwing all the cheer leaders pom poms into the girls shower and setting them on fire while everyone else was out doing batton practice.)

So after I graduated and still wasn't dating, Mom got VERY worried (her GAYDAR went off) and Mom decided to start setting me up with guys that she came in contact with and deemed suitable for me. Protests like: I have a job, I have a really fast car and I have a cool dirt bike called the Green Weenie, WTF do I need a guy for only fueled her fire.

So I come home one night for dinner and she has this guy sitting at the dinner table. She was fawning over him like he was the greatest thing since oatmeal cookies. Mom proudly announces "Meet so in so, he's a LAWYER". My Dad is a fairly quiet guy and pretty much never says a word during the entire dinner, he just watches the guy. After dinner, my Mom practically tosses us out the door to go to a movie. But we get into the car and don't even pull out of the driveway before this guy is suddenly all over me like a frigging octapus and he is so stupid that he dosen't see my Dad looking out the window.

My Dad is a BIG Blackfoot Indian. He has fists the size of ham hocks.

He can move really fast when he's pissed too.

He yanked that lawyer out of the car and when he was done, even I felt sorry for the guy.

Nobody ever had the balls to sue my Dad, not even that asshat lawyer. And the great part of it was that he never allowed Mom to set me up with anyone else either.

I don't ever want to relive my worst date again. I ranted about it on air. Never again.

*shudders, wretches and takes another shower to try to cleanse the feel of sheer ooginess from the memory*

I went out with this male nurse who worked at the same hospital I worked at. He was a divorced dad with 2 sons and since he was a responsible family guy type, I figured he'd be ok to get to know better. SO.......we yak on the phone for a several days before we decide to go out to dinner and everything is cool. He thinks I'm just the bee's knees, etc. Can't say enough nice things about how perfect I am for him, blah, blah, blah. I'm sitting there thinking "Well, I'm glad you think I'm great, but do I get a say in this relationship?"
Anyway, we finish dinner and he has to work in the morning, so the date ends. He walks me out to my car and we chat a bit, then he asks if I mind if he hugs me. Being the nice girl that I am, I'm like "no, I don't mind". So he hugs me, and THEN....the next thing I know, he kisses me and jams his tongue down my throat!!!!! I'm completely caught off guard and when he pulls away, I'm just standing there stunned. He "apologizes" saying that he didn't mean to kiss me, but he just couldn't help himself, he's so attracted to me, etc. I'm totally creeped out by now and beat a hasty retreat. Anyway, to make a long story short.......he calls to ask me out again, but I'm leaving for a vacation so I have a convienient excuse not to go out again. When I get back a week later, he's sent me an email saying that he's sorry, but he's met someone else and he wants to see where that relationship goes, but I'm such a nice girl, he's sure I'll find someone else. I was like "WTF?" I left that job soon after and THANK GOD, haven't seen that moron again!

A few months after my divorce, my well meaning friend insisted on setting me up with a guy that worked with her husband. Now I thought the husband was a jerk, but figured hey might be fun .. why not. Never again..

We went out as a double date, to a nice steak house, the guy was cracking goofy jokes but I chalked it up to nervousness. He then proceeded to take his gum out and stick it on the straw that came in his 7 & 7 and the grabbed two cigarettes out of my pack and stuck them up his nose. I was ready to call for the check. Unfortunately I endured another hour of nonsense.

Needless to say the next day I told my friend no more blind dates!

Ash

Ok, back up. He stuck the cigarettes in his nose? In public? On a date? Ashlynne, you win. My little story about a date to the 99 Cent store can't even compete. You. Just. Win.

Oh, good stories!

Back in high school my best bud had been set up on a blind date for the junior prom via a friend of ours, and he wanted to meet her a couple weeks ahead of time just in case. He was very glad to do so.

I was to play wingman on this meeting. He had spoken with her on the phone, she seemed okay. He drove me over to her house.
Location: wrong side of the tracks. Inside: Messy house, mother in bedclothes at early evening hours.
The plan: Hang out and talk outside for maybe 15 minutes while her friends arrived, a bunch of us would head to a local diner.
The reality: Within 30 minutes we decided this girl had emotional issues. Within an hour we knew her entire sexual history, definitely not by choice.

Finally, we headed to the diner, the friends were supposed to meet us there, and never did, so it was just my friend, the psycho girl, and myself. She exused herself to use the restroom and we decided while she was gone that we needed to bolt, and we would just act obnoxious and disgusting so that she would want to go.
My friend and I proceded to play with our food, making a small mess, telling the stupidest stories we can think of. She was unfortunately amused by our behavior. We regrouped at the restroom, and decided to use me as the excuse to leave - that I had some curfew.
We drove her back, and she proceeded to goad us into listening to her whine about her personal problems for another 45 minutes. I sat on the grenade, so to speak, and gave her my number, hoping to get my buddy our of the date.

She called him a few days later, and he somehow got out of the prom date. She then called me twice a week for a month... of which I somehow managed to "have to go immediately" and get off the phone during each call.

Epilogue: She went to the prom with another friend of ours, wound up making a spectacle at the dance when "does he really have his hand that far up her thigh?" on the dancefloor.

Ah, memories!

Hose that is a baaaad date!

Mine is not quite so bad.

I went on a date with a co-worker from another branch of the company I worked for at the time.

It was set up by my best friend who also worked for the same company at the time. He gave me all the "this girl really likes you" BS beforehand.

I met her at this Irish restaurant/bar. We sat in the bar at a high table. Her hair had changed dramatically since I'd last seen her. It was now red instead of brown and several inches shorter. I said, "you changed your hair, it looks nice". While still making no eye contact she did the old hair/head flip and replied "Yeah, I know" in between cracking sounds emanating from the gum she was frantically chewing.

I should've taken that as a sign.

We ordered a drink and an appetizer. I tried to make small talk as she had fallen silent and was twirling her hair with one finger by this point.

She completely ignored any topics I brought up and instead kept rambling on about some girl she was embroiled in a battle with over some guy. Great. I was thinking; "Why am I on this date"?

I should also mention that she made comments about approximately one third of the girls that walked in the bar. "Oh my god! I know her! She is such a bitch/slut!"

Just when I think it can't possibly get worse, three guys walk in who she happens to know. She beckons them over to join us. They are all drunk, punching and insulting each other, and drawing many eyes to our table.

I told them I had to use the restroom, found the waitress, handed her a twenty and left.

Better than your date deserved!

I guess the moral of the story is; choose a neutral meeting place if you can help it, not a place in your date's neighborhood.

Great stories! Glad I'm out of the dating pool.......

In college, I had met this pretty girl. After hanging out on campus a few times, I gathered up enough nerve to ask her out, to which she happily agreed. The date was set, and she was supposed to meet me at my place at 6p.m., from which we would go out to eat...and then on to a Stone Temple Pilots concert afterwards at a local club. It was the perfect date plan except for:

1. She shows up one hour late (but...as an easy going college dude, I could see past that)

2. She shows up rip-roaring drunk (Normally, that would be a bonus, but she seemed to have a Jeckyl/Hyde thing going on while intoxicated.)

3. She shows up escorted by:




It seems that the chick's roommate had the sneaky plan to have 'roommate & roommate' date 'buddy & buddy's friend'....which would be fine if they would have taken the time to exclude me. Sooo....We all went out to the restaurant (Friday's...'cuz I'm classy like that ). I ran up a $40.00 food tab for me and the chick; and we all ran up a $50.00 bar tab. Since I was pretty much being ignored by my date; I feigned a bathroom trip, called my brother, snuck out of the restaurant, and we went to the show...
Best part, they had to pay the tab (which garnered me quite a few hateful answering machine messages), and me and my bro met two awesome girls at the concert!

hmmm....maybe it wasn't such a bad date after all....

Bah....bad dates my ass....My worst date I got arrested.


So heres this girl I think is hot and she is and she wants me...We go out have great conversation....great date....she decides we should go back to her place. We get there but she locked her keys inside the apt but she knows how to move the lock through these tilting panes of glass in the door.

We go in and the apt is vacant except for a ladder and painting supplies ...she tells me shes having the shithole re-done....and leads me to the bedroom ( where there is also nothing ) and wants me to do her on the floor. I tell her this is really odd so I'm gonna head home. She says well lets go down to my friends apt. so I can say Hi real fast and introduce you.

Well we go down and the friend is there we talk for a minute and there is a bang at the door....yup the police.... Seems it hasn't been her apartment for 2 years when they kicked her out for breaking and entering into vacant apartments. They arrest her, me, and the girlfriend....the girlfriend lied to the cops to cover for her.

I sat in jail for 36 hours....Lawyer cost me 1600 ( and he didnt believe my story ) so we get to trial day and the district attorney comes up to me laughing and says we're gonna kick you loose because she does this every 3 months when they let her out of the institutuion....yes that kind of institution.

The district attorney wasn't laughing at me though.....he was laughing at the guy down the hall in hand cuffs.....seems she got out again the night before trial and he went to the vacant apt with her lol.

Luckily for me, I have no concept of dating

You win. Man, crazy chicks can be so much fun, yet soooo much trouble....

I don't know whether to laugh or cry ... especially at the "do her on the floor" part. Thanks for taking us into the dark, seedy, highly unhygenic underworld of zee nymphomaniac.

Hawt people should come with disclaimers.

What Talen failed to mention is that the bad date REALLY started once he met his cellmate, Bubba.

And Bubba's betah half, Georgie "Orgie" Twinky-buns.

Talen was the meat in a criminal sammich!!

Talen had a cell all to himself because he told the desk sargent he would beat the shit out of anyone put in the cell with him

Bubba was in the cell across from me...completely naked and kept yelling at me to give him a cigarette. To make him happy I told him he had a small dick and he should go fuck himself with it...my fun for 36 hours......pissing off bubba and watching him get beat down by the guards when he would go off from me pissing him off


The best part was missing my grandmothers 80th birthday party that I was warned not to miss for any reason.....my father remarked at the party (as a joke) " I'm sure he's fine, just sleeping it off in jail somewhere".

My best friend, my sister and I agreed to go out with 3 guys we'd met at a couple parties before and casually chatted with. They pick us up in a truck. A nice new truck, but it still only sat 3 people comfortably, and there were 6 of us. 2 of the guys and my friend had to lay down in the back, so we wouldn't get pulled over for having someone in the back of a truck, which was illegal in my hometown.

They told us we were going to their friend's big party where there would be live music. Cool. The big party turns out to be in a big dirt field (this is, apparently, where they grow dirt?) with no bathrooms, no water, no electricity. Not cool. The live music turns out to be some idiots wailing on their unplugged electric guitars, badly, along with the tinny music coming out of someone's car stereo. Wayyyy not cool.

We try to make the best of it, and drink some piss warm beer out of a half-flat keg. By this point we're really regretting that none of us drove, and debating which of us should develope debilitating menstral cramps so the guys have to take us home.

This is the point where the date turns from Bad to Worst.

A couple more people show up at the 'party' and they happen to be black. This is when we discover that our dates, their friends and all but about 10 of us at this party are racists. (They had all their teeth and didn't drool a lot, so we hadn't guessed.) The two black guys were threatened with baseball bats, called names, humiliated, and herded back to their car, where one of the dates friends hits the windshield with a baseball bat. The two guys backed up their car, and instead of leaving, gun it and slammed the bumper into the baseball-bat-weilder's legs, pinning him against another car's bumper before they back up and take off.

Most people left in a big hurry, but our dates aren't quite ready to go. So the rest of the evening is spent talking to paramedics and police, where my sister, my friend and I spend most of our time correcting the racists stories and telling the cops what really happened, while we're glared at and called 'race traitors' by our dates' friends. After a few arrests, we're finally taken home, and the idiot dates actually ask when we want to go out again. That'd be a big never.

Great stories!
Scary people!

My contribution was more of a reunion with an old highschool friend than an official date. "Jake" was relativly sane and sensible in high school, so I figured dinner and a movie with him five years later would be fun...

Jake had changed a bit. For one thing, he thought it was cute speed like a maniac and run red lights.
Then there was the conversation. Jake claimed he'd been in the army for six months and was "On a secret mission in southeast Asia". This alleged secret mission involved lots of "do you know what an AK47 does to a man" assasinations plus other "top secret" military manuvers that he'd masterminded. Sure, Jake. Later, when I mentioned a local landmark was suposedly haunted, Jake launched into a wacky ghost story where he'd once met a guy or two who'd "vanished into thin air!" right in front of him. I think he also told me some yarn about how he earned his income at home by running some drug mafia caper where he was earning big bucks and butchering his enemies.

This freaked me out enough to shy away from further reunions, but to this day I wonder what motivated him to act so weird. And did he really think I was dumb enough to buy into his nonsense?

nope, I got nothing to compare to most of those stories. My worst date would probably be the one where we went 4x4 in my bronco, got stuck, and the cheerleader's pulled us out... or possibly the first time I went on a date that required a cover at the door, and I didn't realize it, and it was a very outback redneck sort of bar... that one just about became a fist fight until I realized what the angry man tapping me on the shoulder wanted .