Open letter to Linden Lab

Dear Second Life residents,

When I began writing this letter, I had the notion that I would write about something positive and optimistic instead of going on about how repressive Linden Lab is. Unfortunately, I couldn't think of anything particularly positive to write about. So, instead, I'll just tell you that it's really hard to take someone as blasphemous as Linden Lab very seriously. Here's a quick review: Linden Lab is entirely gung-ho about solipsism because it lacks more pressing soapbox issues. For better or for worse, when I first became aware of Linden Lab's covert invasion into our thought processes, all I could think was how Linden Lab is typical of loquacious dweebs in its wild invocations to the irrational, the magic, and the fantastic to dramatize its half-measures.

Did Linden Lab get dropped on its head when it was young, or did it take massive doses of drugs to believe that its opinions represent the opinions of the majority -- or even a plurality? Well, once you begin to see the light, you'll realize that its cause is not glorious. It is not wonderful. It is not good. What does this mean for our future? For one thing, it means that Linden Lab proclaims at every opportunity that it'd never extend its 15 minutes of fame to 15 months. The organization doth protest too much, methinks. Linden Lab has a fondness for spouting out technical mumbo-jumbo. That being the case, we can infer that Linden Lab shouldn't bamboozle people into believing that the best way to make a point is with foaming-at-the-mouth rhetoric and letters filled primarily with exclamation points. That would be like asking a question at a news conference and, too angry and passionate to wait for the answer, exiting the auditorium before the response. Both of those actions bowdlerize all unfavorable descriptions of Linden Lab's manifestos.

As I gaze into my crystal ball, I see that Linden Lab's trained seals will supplant one form of injustice with another faster than you can say "antiprestidigitation". Linden Lab's propositions are in every respect consistent with the school of clueless thought that tends to confuse the catastrophic power of state fascism with the repression of an authoritarian government in our minds. Many people are shocked when I tell them that Linden Lab has let its worthless nature get the better of it. And I'm shocked that so many people are shocked. You see, I had thought everybody already knew that if Linden Lab would abandon its name-calling and false dichotomies, it would be much easier for me to tell Linden Lab what we all think of it -- and boy, do I have some choice words I'd like to use. Linden Lab refers to a variety of things using the word "archaeopterygiformes". Translating this bit of jargon into English isn't easy. Basically, it's saying that all literature which opposes cynicism was forged by yawping, brown-nosing degenerates. At any rate, if the people generally are relying on false information sown by closed-minded, soulless big-labor bosses, then correcting that situation becomes a priority for the defense of our nation. Let us postulate that the final product of Linden Lab's prank phone calls will be a dysfunctional society, wherein every natural self-defense mechanism has been short-circuited in some self-deceiving effort to gain short-term financial benefits. In that case, when a friend wants to drive inebriated, you try to stop him. Well, Linden Lab is drunk with power, which is why we must teach what I call hidebound fault-finders about tolerance.

Linden Lab and its thralls are, by nature, pestiferous fanatics. Not only can that nature not be changed by window-dressing or persiflage, but the first response to this from Linden Lab's provocateurs is perhaps that the most insufferable pip-squeaks you'll ever see make the best scout leaders and schoolteachers. Wrong. Just glance at the facts: Linden Lab runs at the first sign of trouble. More than that, I, not being one of the many lazy, short-sighted fast-buck artists of this world, like to speak of Linden Lab as "irresponsible". That's a reasonable term to use, I believe, but let's now try to understand it a little better. For starters, I should note that it wants to introduce more restrictions on our already dwindling freedoms. Why it wants that, I don't know, but that's what it wants. I receive a great deal of correspondence from people all over the world. And one of the things that impresses me about it is the massive number of people who realize that it is easy to see from the foregoing that the word on the street is that Linden Lab doesn't know the difference between right and wrong. I don't think anyone questions that. But did you know that it writes really long and boring letters? No amount of opinion or innuendo nor any string of unrelated claims can change the fact that if you can go more than a minute without hearing Linden Lab talk about post-structuralism, you're either deaf, dumb, or in a serious case of denial. Does Linden Lab have trouble living with itself, knowing that it can justify anything that brings it a profit? No, don't guess; this isn't audience participation day. I'll just tell you. But before I do, you should note that we mustn't let it force us to do things or take stands against our will. That would be like letting the Mafia serve as a new national police force in Italy. Not only have chauvinistic exhibitionists decided to glorify their machinations by dressing them up as moral and righteous prerogatives, but their criticisms are being debated as though they were actually reasonable. Perhaps if Linden Lab thought about it, it'd realize that I believe I have finally figured out what makes organizations like it shout obscenities at passers-by. It appears to be a combination of an overactive mind, lack of common sense, assurance of one's own moral propriety, and a total lack of exposure to the real world.

You should not ask, "What provoked Linden Lab to impose a one-size-fits-all model on how society should function?", but rather, "How barbaric can it be?". The latter question is the better one to ask, because you may be wondering why savage hoodlums latch onto its pronouncements. It's because people of that nature need to have rhetoric and dogma to recite during times of stress in order to cope. That's also why in spite of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, many otherwise intelligent people continue to believe, thanks to Linden Lab, that every word that leaves its mouth is teeming with useful information. That's the current situation, and if you have any doubt about the reality of it, then you haven't been paying close enough attention to what's been happening in the world. Linden Lab and I disagree about our civic duties. I contend that we must do our utmost to replace today's chaos and lack of vision with order and a supreme sense of purpose as expeditiously as possible. Linden Lab, on the other hand, believes that its bons mots won't be used for political retribution.

In all fairness, Linden Lab occasionally writes letters accusing me and my friends of being wayward bums. These letters are typically couched in gutter language (which is doubtless the language in which Linden Lab habitually thinks) and serve no purpose other than to convince me that if we take its tricks to their logical conclusion, we see that eventually, it will bring ugliness and nastiness into our lives. I've always thought that human life is full of artificiality, perversion, and misery, much of which is caused by what I call insane ochlocrats, and hearing the rubbish that Linden Lab spews forth proves it beyond all doubt. If we are to expose the connections between the noisome problems that face us and the key issues of boosterism and narcissism, then we must be guided by a healthy and progressive ideology, not by the hateful and petty ideologies that Linden Lab promotes.

If Linden Lab can overawe and befuddle a sufficient number of prominent individuals, then it will become virtually impossible for anyone to reverse the devolutionary course Linden Lab has set for us. Because of Linden Lab's disquisitions, our schools simply do not teach the basics anymore. Instead, they preach the theology of homophobic parasitism.

In order to solve the big problems with Linden Lab, we must first understand these problems, and to understand them, we must provide you with vital information which it has gone to great lengths to prevent you from discovering. Linden Lab decries or dismisses capitalism, technology, industrialization, and systems of government borne of Enlightenment ideas about the dignity and freedom of human beings. These are the things that it fears, because they are wedded to individual initiative and responsibility. Linden Lab is like a broken record, using the same tired cliches about family and education and safer streets, yet its spokesmen think that negativism is a be-all, end-all system that should be forcefully imposed upon us. I say to them, "Prove it" -- not that they'll be able to, of course, but because I didn't want to talk about this. I really didn't. But Linden Lab's older belief systems were crazy enough. Its latest ones are indeed beyond the pale.

Linden Lab maintains that everyone and everything discriminates against it -- including the writing on the bathroom stalls. Perhaps it would be best for it to awaken from its delusional narcoleptic fantasyland and observe that it doesn't care about freedom, as it can neither sell it nor put it in the bank. It's just a word to it. I would like to digress here. Linden Lab's pledge not to do away with intellectual honesty is merely empty rhetoric, invoked on occasion for theatrical effect but otherwise studiously ignored. Think about how easy it's become for drossy anarchists to lead people towards iniquity and sin. We can all have daydreams about Happy Fuzzy Purple Bunny Land, where everyone is caring, loving, and nice. Not only will those daydreams not come true, but almost every day, Linden Lab outreaches itself in setting new records for arrogance, deceit, and greed. It's honestly breathtaking to watch it.

This brings us to the dark underside of Linden Lab's prevarications, the side that's known to create an atmosphere of mistrust, in which speculations and rumors gain the appearance of viability and compete openly with more carefully considered theories. Linden Lab wants to impose annoying new restrictions on society just to satisfy some sort of pouty drive for power. What does it think it is? I mean, its manuscripts are a cesspool of alcoholism. In reaching that conclusion, I have made the usual assumption that in asserting that newspapers should report only on items it agrees with, it demonstrates an astounding narrowness of vision. Linden Lab's self-fulfilling prophecies are a quick-fix detour, a placebo aimed at surface symptoms, and an excuse to wage a clandestine guerilla war against many basic human rights. This is the flaw in Linden Lab's orations. It doesn't understand that I am making a pretty serious accusation here. I am accusing Linden Lab of planning to threaten national security. And I don't want anyone to think that I am basing my accusation only on the fact that my purpose here is not to draw a picture of what we conceive of under the word "physiologicoanatomic". Well, okay, it is. But I should point out that it will probably respond to this letter just like it responds to all criticism. It will put me down as "lewd" or "scabrous". That's its standard answer to everyone who says or writes anything about it except the most fawning praise. Now for some parting advice: Look at the facts. Analyze the arguments. Think about the motives of the people who are telling you that the laws of nature don't apply to Linden Lab. And have confidence in yourself. Remember, from the very beginning, bumptious, uncivilized lummoxes have labored to recruit into their ranks the sons and daughters of the powerful, famous, and rich.

Sincerely,
Zoey Jade

Looks like someone needs to get their avatar layed

Prokofy's still better at the long, rambling, insulting post.

I didnt read this, I was too busy having RL sex.

Someone's enjoying attention overmuch. But I'll give her this much: she really worked hard for it this time.

Please let the grid come up soon so the odd rambling forum posts will go away

What did you use to generate that, Zoey?

Oh, c'mon, you guys....you *do* know that Zoey's taken that post from somewhere, and did a replace on the nameof the original target with 'Linden Lab'.

It has come to this. People are actually starting to post Form Flames.

Now I know how the creator of Red Bull made the Fortune Richest People in the World list. Wow....

Would someone mind summing that up for me and maybe using some OMGs and LOLs maybe throwing in a few !!!s for effect?

tl;dr

cliff notes?

(ok so i am still here...)

I feel so... dirty. Woozy even.
I think I need to take a shower or something.
Is the grid back up yet so I can STOP reading the forum, there's too much sex and drama here

or is it clift?

been a long time since i was at school in the States

(right really hitting the sack now)

What is solipsism? I'm pretty sure my bacon is burning out in kitchen but I have burning desire to know.

sigh Zoey Jade, pardon me while I turn to the side and *PUKE* from seeing your name, you SERIOUSLY need some attention!
HOLY SHIT, we are giving it to you!!!!!
*walks away laughing* puke, puke and some more puke, want some puke? ill give ya some puke, puke for Zoey everyone she THRIVES off it, puke puke.

sorry had to puke this looked like a good place for it.

should have posted a link...I have no clue what that was all about, and I read every word. ( yeah, still waiting for sl to come up...)

Main Entry: so·lip·sism

: a theory holding that the self can know nothing but its own modifications and that the self is the only existent thing

It's that program that people were passing around on the forums a few months back, or so I am told, anyone have a linky?

well i for one think zoey has a point. it'a found in paragraph 3, subsection7a under misallocation of mental something or other.

*fluffs her hair and smiles sappily*

marilyn

LOL Didn't take too long to google that...

Here's the post from the original source:

http://www.asianjoke.com/others/who_is_osama_bin_laden.htm


Most creative, Zoey.....

Better yet. Make your own.

http://www.pakin.org/complaint/

immanuel kant