The Hitchhikers Guide to Second Life

Before I begin with a few start entries I would like to state this is purely for fun but someone wants to help code and make it a reality in game then feel free to IM me in game. Let's begin.



Welcome to The Hitchhikers Guide to Second Life. I see you have never used this guide before so I will start by going over a few sample entries stored in this mass depository of information.

Teleport – Teleport is a means to get from one place to another usually indirectly and sometimes directly. This is the Citizens main choice of transportation. Teleport could be named the great grandfather of the Infinite Improbability Drive due to it’s lack of probable course. Many Citizens who have used Teleport will sometimes reach their destination or arrive somewhere completely different in someone else’s body. This phenomenon is best described as an outer inner and slightly removed avatar experience. Attachments at this point can jump a few meters to the left or 5 sims to the right.

Linden – To most a tree but when you see one in person that’s when things become a blur due to lack of reality in such situations or your glasses shattering from the shear sight of avatar deformity. Linden’s have been proven to exist and sighted most often around fountains and any water fixture for that matter. It is theorized that these extra dimensional beings come from a magical water basin in which a Linden Tree grew. Others have theorized that they are actually super intelligent dogs finding a new way to help their avatar masters which could explain quite a lot of the little presents they leave around in strange places. Accounts from people have met a Linden suggest that when dealing with one to keep in mind the following:

1. Never comment on their avatar’s looks
2. If you wear glasses get an extra pair that is 6inch thick as to prevent shattering
3. Only offer them muffins and not cookies. Cookies tend to make them leave extra large presents around the place.
4. Wear something revealing, this goes for males and females as right now the Linden has been classified as asexual in nature.



Thats all for now. Feel free to comment and if all goes well I might refine and add more. Enjoy!

/me sets about making a handheld HHGG in SL, maybe it can actually store useful information someday...

Never forget your towel ..

Hang around events, since they want you there they usually are fairly generous and you can manage to sneak your way to the Buffet Table without too much dificulty.

Avoid Malls and Stores like the plague. Thes high quality goods will simply increase your desire to spend Lindens.

Its actually to your advange to look as much like the "BASE" avatar as possible- since if you look like the Linden's dressed you, good samaritans will literally throw heaps of free clothes on you. (remember Trashbags can serve as suitcases ina pinch)

Get a free apartment , im sure theres many, but one I Know of is in Hawaii .. Little Huts with a spectacular View.

Make rich friends, hand me downs and gifts are better than working. =p


^^

Ghosts: Ghosting is the phenomenon where a phantom image of a prim or person remains long after the actual object has been deleted or left the room. This may be the OLDEST Second Life bug as it was first spotted five years ago when Philip Rosedale tried to describe to potential investors how a Prim would look by drawing one on a whiteboard, but failed to notice he was using a permanent marker.

Alcohol: See entries on Linden Lab (section: Friday evening); Weber, Aimee; and Peregrine, FlipperPA.

W-Hat: Performance artists or griefers depending on your definition and perspective as most thing do; most intelligent entities agree that this mindless bunch of jerks will be the first against the wall when the revolution comes!

By an astounding coincidence, a copy of the Encyclopedia Galactica that fell through a timewarp described W-Hat as, "A mindless bunch of jerks that were the first against the wall when the revolution came!"



-Flip

Bling Bling: Misunderstood by most residents, the white rhythmic flashing that appears on the jewelry of some newer SL residents is actually a long distance communication protocol similar to Morse Code. If decoded one would typically see messages like "oh no she dih-ent just go there", "Ima whoop her ass", and "Send more hoochie hair please".

Dwell: In the beginning Dwell was created. This had made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

Lag:

a.k.a Hussy, Harlot, Wench

Often found in clubs


[updated (HHG2SL v1.6)]
The seemingly random amount of time between wanting to do something and being able to do something


see also
Asset Server

Pie- Everyone loves it, you know you do. So grab a slice when ever possible.

The FIC: Semi Mythical, Quasi Religeous, Heavily Debated - Secret Cabal of Techno-wizards that Wields the puppetmaster's strings of Secondlife.

It is beleived the FIC pre-exists the actual game of second life and existed during the Fabled time known as "BETA", during which time they learned the secret question to life the universe and everything .. Well .. almost.

There is still a missing coefficent in the 17th Quadratic.

They currently are building a Massive LSL Script to analyze this problem

Hoochie Hair: Known to string theorists as Calabi Yau space, hoochie hair is a complex and dazzling array of tori that extend into no less than eleven dimensions. Hoochie hair was a breathtaking discovery by physicists as it proved Einstein's theories regarding the fluidity of TIME. This is because as you approach hoochie hair time will continue to slow down until it comes to a complete stop. Victims trapped within the event horizon of hoochie hair face almost certain doom unless they can signal for help using Bling Bling.

KATYKIWI:.. A sweet fruit...

Sandboxes:

Publicly accesible areas which regularly get re-filled with crap at 3am and 3pm PST each day. Often used as weapons testing areas despite rules against such actions. Many people make a strong effort to find somewhere else to work on things fast, but there are those who like "sandbox culture" and will use them throughout their second life. Things to take with you to a sandbox: 1) A chair, to protect yourself from being sent into a low orbit by machine guns, rockets and bombs. 2) Something to do. Standing in a sanbox with nothing to do will drain all energy and effort that remain inside you, throw them on the ground, jump up and down on them a bit, and eventually you will get bored and log out of SL.

- Best Entry Ever.

Hippos: Mascots of the SL grid, these majestic and friendly animals were once rampant in SL when all our backs were turned. Hippo sightings are less frequent now, but you can still catch a faint cry of "hippos!" in the distance by hitting control+alt+shift+h. Hippos were immortalized in word and sculpture in SL in its early period, and a Linden-created device to track others with similar interests was named in the hippos' honor. Hippos are still known to be called out by the Lindens in cases of extreme bug emergencies to keep at bay the ever-present evil grid gnomes.

Siggy Romulus -- Mostly Harmless.

Prim cubes

Electronic spacial construction designed to fill a mathematical virtual space. Originally intended to display six flat sides in a tri-dimensional layout, meeting at right angles with all other sides.

To the layperson, a prim cube is squarish, comes in various sizes and colors, the most common being 0.5m x 0.5m x 0.5m in a light brown, swirlish pattern. This inspires to one such layperson that it might be labelled a 'wooden block'. This of course means that while it might be for all such purposes seem to be a 'wooden block'....it is no such thing.

Wood is the type of material that trees are made of. Linden trees are large one-prim structures that are very detailed and sway in a semi-random way, apparently influenced by a random number generator in SL called 'wind'. However, Linden trees cannot be modified or turned into other constructions. Which naturally means the prim cube cannot possibly be made of wood. It apparently also thumbs its nose at the 'wind', as it does not sway. This would be assuming the prim cube had either a nose or a thumb, of course of which it has neither. In groups, however, it seems to have the potential for both a nose, a thumb, and many other parts (see "reproduction", below).

In addition, prim cubes actually block very few things. They can be seen through, sometimes flown through or walked through. With the appropriate application of a brainwashing technique called 'scripting', they can also be induced via a 'push' to help people along, similar to a demented boy scout walking grandma across the street at gunpoint. Clearly the 'block' name must be greatly exaggerated.


Prim cubes seem to be a relative of the sausage-like critters that live on Ringlingalus III, called a 'balloon'. There, the native hominid population twist, deform, and otherwise force 'balloons' into various shapes, a highly complex ritual designed to entertain large groups of natives. The prim cube appears to bear these traits, but also with camoflage capability, such that they are useful in making them appear as almost anything else. Prim cubes can theoretically even be made to look like other prim cubes. This of course is a useless trait, as it is well known that to look like a prim cube is to be liable for lawsuits under simplistic hominid-territorial rituals called 'intellectual property'. Which is to say, has no chance of happening. Whoever heard of an intellectual hominid?


Reproduction: The birth of a prim cube is largely a mystery, as they seemingly appear out of nowhere. The current theory believes that wherever they came from, it must be a noisy place, as the appearance of a prim cube is generally accompanied by a loud deep rumbling. The alternative theory suggests the rumbling is the sound of the prim cube being built on the spot, which of course is just plain crazy.


[ Submitted by Newfie Pendragon, region Gerstle, amid porridge ]

Traffic: None

Cyber Sex: None


Actually theres quite a lot of it .. even though its mathmatically impossible.

Griefers: Socially backward, unattractive and , geeky these pubescent [mostly] boys inhabit SL from the ages of 15 - 21. The griefer's MO is to make you as miserable as themselves. Like rapstars, they lord over an imaginary world fantasy in which they rule as absolute masters, impregnating attractive women at their whim and rendering opponents totally harmless.

With time and the proper guidance, the griefer will mature into a lawyer, investigative reporter, or guidance councilor.

Perhaps this should be a wiki?

A.. tekki.. wiki?



Tekki Wiki: See FIC.

Head Banging: The fruitless effort to enter a full sim, named for the action of repeatedly bouncing off an invisible wall, with downcast expression and cries of woe, like a fly attempting to fly through a solid window pane to reach the unattainable light beyond--the most pathetic expression of futility. Accompanied by the frequent appearances of information boxes telling what you are aready all too aware of.

Prok'n'Beans -
see forums

Lindens-
Ben Linden-
The ultimate in all grifers, One of the only long standing grifers in secondlife yet to be
banned dispite many abuse reports.

Abuse reports-
Linden paper airplans.

While you're so motivated, go put your write-ups at http://history.secondserver.net

The Grid: A nickname given to the world itself, due to the grid-like nature the land mass seems to form, oddly, any area not directly over a square of land seems to have the difficult situation of being uninhabitable, see headbanging.

The land is largely for sale, sometimes auctioned off to highest bidder, a good half is owned by any of 3 to 4 individuals at any one time, most of the time, this includes the Govenor... but sometimes not.

Studied for years, the grid itself is at times very finicky, most notably when bothered a lot, and tends to respond by actions mentioned in the entry, Teleport, additional problems include land masses moving without notice.

Some say that the grid itself is sentient, and that it's attempting to communicate. Please do not feed it fish8.

Asset Server: A vast database of all things in the world, second only to the Hitchhiker's Guide for resourcefulness, unlike the Hitchhiker's guide, the Asset Server does not supply user readable entries, but rather stores, through some dimensional processes yet unfathomed by all but the Linens, everything in our world.

This however, casues the Asset server much stress, first hand accounts state that the Asset Server has spent moments contemplating it's own existance... many times this results in fits of near suicidal depression where it will refuse to offer any assets. Typically this results in a Linden attempting to feed it cupcakes until it stops sulking and gets back to work, occasionally whips and even fish are involved in the motivational process.

--
all appologies for run on sentances and random junk that won't be understood.