Sperm Theft

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=519&ncid=716&e=7&u=/ap/20050224/ap_on_re_us/sperm_theft

Some weird people out there. That kid is gonna be fucked up.

I think this is pretty unreasonable.

That was my thought too, Aimee, but I don't know what to think. I mean, the kid should go shoeless just because his mom's a hoodwinker? and a hoodwanker?

Best line EVAH!!

*cries* I thought I'd buried those memories already. Now I have to go back to therapy to forget about it again!

Well I wouldn't worry about Dr. Sharon Irons' kid, but in general I totally sympathize. My fear, however, is that you will get MORE of these kids to screwball mothers unless the law puts its foot down and says "LET IT BE KNOWN...YOU WILL NOT GET SUPPORT FOR DOING THIS"

yeah it's a sticky wicket, no pun intended. I dunno. I need to remember to always ask for my belongings back, I guess!

LOL!! "Can I have a doggie bag?"

Paper or plastic?

Rubber.

Rubber baby buggy bumpers rubber baby buggy bumpers rubber baby buggy bumpers rubber baby buggy bumpers rubber baby baggy bumpers rupper baby buppy buppers

*shrug* I dunno...rubber does odd things to me. Though probably in his case, I'm sure he wished he had chosen "rubber"

Tattoo on penis:

Notice to repository vessel: Delivery or leakage from the aforementioned appendage will not be considered a gift and remain the absolute and irrevocable property of the donor and wherever applicable any material deposited will be returned to owner upon request. Owner of the appendage in question disavows any responsibility for delivered contents when said contents are used during the commission of a crime or for the expressed purpose of accruing civil or financial liability.

Does that mean I have to sign before usage or does usage imply consent? What if I'm not able to read the entire contract before usage due to......shortened terms? If I must take action to extend the document to reading legibility and should accidentely cause leakage, am I directly held responsible for said leakage even though I had not been able to read specified contract before usage? Will your contract be in braille and have an accompanied audio book for those hearing and visually impaired?

Rrrrrrruffles....have rrrrridges!

Usage of the aforementioned appendage implies consent.

Owner of aforementioned appendage disavows any responsibility for the users inability to manipulate the document to readability.

Accidental leakage is covered in the contract and owner of leakage disavows responsibility for the users ability to read the document.

The contract will not be copied in braille as it is not currently an ADA requirement.

Owner of said appendage will accompany the written text with audio though this not legally binding and is for entertainment purposes only.

Sounds like a job for snowball!!!

it just occured to me that for all i know i have a 4 year old half chicken son pecking around someplace

and they say romance is dead......

I had a friend who went on to play baseball in the minor leagues. He said that soon after he reported to camp, the club had an 'unofficial' team meeting with the trainers. In the meeting, the trainers went over a slew of 'safety' protocols regarding players having sex on the road (mostly diseases and the like). One thing, though, that they stressed was to always flush condoms after use...never throw them in the trash. It seems that there was a controversy in the majors regarding a female taking the...um...'contents' out of a condom in an attempt to get pregnant (even though condoms typically also have a spermicide in them.) Pretty yucky...but when a night of fun could possibly turn into a little 7 pound cash cow...I guess people will do some pretty weird things...

He he...maybe the tattoo should be on the belly instead? It would ensure the person would read it...*thinks a moment* Ok, maybe not in all circumstances!

This is why you put habanero sauce into the condom. Not only will it kill the swimmers, you'll get an audible notification if she tries to do anything with them!

ROFL.

I'm surprised that the original story that spawned this thread wasn't called rape.

Yes, of course it is rape. The only difference here is that the coercion was through deceit rather than force. Now, this poor man is going to have to pay for this evil woman's unethical decision. It's absolutely stunning that society frowns on men who make sexist jokes, and yet doesn't bat an eyelash at prime time television shows in which men are portrayed as ineffectual, ethically challenged ninnies who can't even look after themselves, while the women are highly effective paragons of virtue. Society tells men that they are to be wage-slaves to women who have sexually assaulted them. There have been cases where women have raped men in the regular sense, overtly, using them while they were drunk. The courts don't care, they let the rapist raise the rape-child and force the man to pay. Just like this fellow here.

This is one the reasons why I always tune out anyone who starts talking about feminism. Another reason is that my mother and grandmother, and the mother of a girl I used to see, are feminists who enjoyed telling me, as a boy who was afraid to "sass" his elders, about how women had mastery over men and about how their brains are superior and how wars are all mens' fault and if only women ran the world everyone would magically get along and there would never be war (HAHAHAHAHAHA) and how domestic violence is only something that men commit. It may be that feminism was useful at one time, but after all these experiences, I can't help but think it has been co-opted by man-haters who are on the classic "four legs good, two legs bad - I mean, BETTER" trip, using it as an excuse to do and say whatever the hell they want.

Scary is that this happens all the time - women (and conceivably men) sabotage a condom secretly in an effort to trap their partner, demand child support, etc.

It sickens me to think of someone using a child in this manner.

Ok. pardon my ignorance here. But... wouldnt habanero sauce hurt you guys too ????

you do it AFTER

see how that works?