Are we friendly? Are we snobs? Or both?

One thing I like about Second Life is I'm always wandering into random people, most of who are interesting and ready to chat. In that sense it seems like a friendly place. On the dark side, I occasionally hear sentiment that this world is snobish and cliquish, and that people feel isolated. To what extent do you think this is true?
At first I thought this was just a bad attitude, but I've been playing for some time so I have a nice network of in-world aquaintances. Maybe it's a newbie issue?

It has been my experience that people in general in SL are great. There are, of course, some exceptions to that statement.

I think that the most clique-ish thing I've encountered so far are the "contests". If you don't have a large network of friends that are there to vote for you...don't hope or expect to win anything.

I remember when I was new and green to this world. In some ways I still am, and in others, I always will be. I approached -- and continue to approach -- Second Life with wide open arms, hoping to learn more about the creators of so many fascinating things, and studying the rich history and culture of the metagrid. I journeyed from place to place, and while I met a few bitter individuals who weren't easy to get along with, I've focused on the positive and spent time with people I enjoy being with. On the whole, my experiences have been favorable.

There are certainly social circles and groups of friends that hang out together. Midnight City crew being one. Indigo crew being another. Happy Mocha also constitutes some of my dear friends. I "hang" with these groups, and more, from vampires to furries to my homeground cyberpunks, and know that they are made up of people who are not only talented in their fields, but so nice-n-gracious to me.

But if you think about it this way: all solid relationships were once nonexistent. But when people get into certain cycles, it can be hard to change and revitalize -- freshen up! -- things.

I understand a cautious, wary reaction to newbies to enter the world, especially those who do not respect the ways of the past and trample all over the 'verse, cyberbegging and typing rudely and having no knowledge of what has come before -- and even worse, not wanting to learn (a constant source being Hamlet's NWN, of course).

I count you, Olympia, as a friendly person I've come to know in SL.

Thanks for starting this thread. And these are my experiences.

I've found most people to be friendly in SL.

Snobbish behavior im sure abounds - but it doesn't really effect me as I'm not very good at "getin it" when snubed

Guess I just lack social skills?!?

Indigo, "Ryens Bitches"Consisting or Lleah Lupis, Einsman,Nick Fairlight, Bonecrusher Slate, Forestrock, Cornelius Bach),"The Seventh Circle"Adam Zaius, Francis Chung, some of ryens bitches, Torley, Rickard, Oz, Strife, Launa)

I do, at times... but it may have more to do with the cage they keep me in. *sniff*


I've always had good luck with people being friendly, or at the very least 'cordial'. I'm always intrigued by the ebb/flow of folks from one 'clique' to the next. I think there's alot of overlapping in that regard.

Personally, I just like to hang with smart, kinky, and highly entertaining folk.

Aw, Shucks!



I never thought if it that way, Merwan. Perhaps I too am being blown off left and right and am blissfully unaware!

I'm friendly when approached and I don't find myself to be too clique-ish. I even started an anti-clique clique group. I can be a total snob when it comes to clothes though. hehe

Seriously, I have a lot of friends in many different groups and they all offer their own brand of individuality, uniqueness, humor and creativity. I'd have to do a copy/paste of my card list to name every person that's had some effect on my Second Life.

Great post, Oly! *hugs*

I consider myself to be one of the most approachable ppl in SL, I welcome anyone and frequently find myself showing n00bs around after they crash into one of my beach parties.. I love talking to new ppl

My experiences, I have only ever met one ASSHAT in SL who muted me.. because i corrected his spelling and when he said I was the dumbass cos I spelt it wrong, so I sent him to dictionary.com.. and he promptly muted me

But hell I got more a laugh outta it than anything

So y'all are really quite friendly and I love all, well most of you

Ok, I had to respond to this thread...

First of all, I have been in SL for awhile now (no longer a real noob) but not really long enough to be an old timer. When I started, I felt that everyone was so nice. Now there are many more in-world that are not as nice (mostly rude griefers). They really don't bother me, as I have had no real harrassment.

I have always felt that there was a certain amount of snobby, clique-ish vibes going around though. But before you all leap, let me explain.... I have never felt from anyone that I recall, that it was intentional. What I mean is that there is a natural tendancy to gravitate towards people that you have things in common with (such as the designers, builders, etc...). If you don't share these skills, but find those people fascinating, you tend to feel like an outsider looking into that particular circle.

I used to feel the same way about the "contests" Aradia, and didn't feel that I was "well known" enough to stand a chance at any of them. But imagine how shocked I was when I won several that I had entered where I really didn't know many people at the event. It proved me wrong, and I think it showed that the general population in SL are truly good honest people, that will do what they feel is right and not just base their votes on who they know.

In general, I feel that with the diversity that is SL we can't have one without the other. Looking at the whole picture, I'd say that the scales are tipped in favor of us being friendly

thanks, Trinity


He sounds like a real charmer.

I do not feel excluded in SL, nor especially included, unless I'm at an event. I enjoy going around by myself but would also like more friends to hang out with

One thing I have noticed also is this tendency to believe that the longer you have been in SL the better -- or wiser -- you are. I don't really feel that way, but I am getting tired of hearing about how huge SL is getting and how before that, everything was just a neat little village and how all these new people are ruining things.

*takes a deep breath* HOWEVER I have nothing against any of these people, I just feel -- remote as this belief it is -- that some of them have something against me.

yeah we are pretty snobby. when i'm around groups of people and a brand newbie flys up they usually get alot of shit from the old timers. people mess with their heads and insult them openly or behind their backs. sometimes people help out but it's the exception.

seems like most people i run into are pretty private. lots of land banning everyone from it or people who will ignore you if you start a conversation out of the blue. i think alot of people in sl would rather play a game without so many people in it.

so yeah, i think sl is cliqueish. you find a clique of nice people who aren't snobs and you band together against the snobs.

no doubt.

Where can us shy kids go to meet the not so snobby people?

You snobby people just shush now!

Dunno really.... I've been away for a couple of months now.. but now that work is starting to slow down I'll spend more time in world...

Usually I spend a lot of time in my workshop tinkering with stuff - occasionally folks I know drop by, or ask me to tport to chat or see something cool.. So I guess I live in a kind of self-enforced-isolation.

I have a bunch of folks I've known a while and feel comfortable hanging with - apart from that I tend to hang out alone and tinker... So although I don't run around and socialize that much - I'm not really 'cliquish' either....

I just like bumming around and making stupid stuff.

Siggy.

Pfft, you are soooo cliquey and you're a genie snob. Not really, I just miss you.

Cliquish? VERY! And to be honest those are the people I try to avoid... reason being... DRAMA< RUMORS< LIES< MANIPULATION!

I think a lot of it is just perception. It can be a little intimidating joining a new world where there are a lot of people already established. I think people can project their intimidation onto others and imagine them as being snobbish or hard to approach. I recently found out that one of my skin customers wanted to ask for a small change but didn't because she finds me intimidating. I found this out from someone else and when she told me I laughed because I can't imagine myself that way at all. She said she could understand why the girl felt that way because I'm a scarey guy, lol. *shrug* Dunno why. I don't bite and I'll talk to anyone, provided I don't have a dozen windows open and don't notice they're trying to talk to me.

I invite anyone who sees me inworld to say hello and chat a bit. I like meeting people.

Particularly you, Lo. I would enjoy very much the opportunity to greet you with "Lo, Lo!"

there are exactly three people that i actively avoid in all the population of second life. there's no animosity; they're just always super defensive and i don't know how to talk to them. absolutely everybody else i've ever met have been at least civil; most have exemplified kindness and acceptance.

in real life i have a knack for getting along with people and tend to worm my way into cliches just for standing around being green ha ha. but i've still been overwhelmed by the people here. well not here, this is forum hell, but the people inworld. after a year and all this growth, it still amazes me.

Hahahaha do you know how many times I get that!

"Hi Lo."
"Hello Lo."
"'Lo Lo."

Anyway would love to hang out too. Bumming around shopping gets boring sometimes y'know.

I suppose, Chip, that it is rather intimidating. I would have a problem approaching Mistress Midnight, for instance. No particular reason, but she's just such an established player and everyone knows who she is -- can be tough for a relative newbie like me!!

However I have seen in people's profiles where they are like, "I don't want to meet you unless you were born before Jan 2004," or something like that. I can understand why "oldies" would feel like their world was being taken over by capitalistic vicious newbies with guns -- but I mean, not ALL of us are like that

So who are the other 2? hahahaha

Siggy.

Law of probabilities eh... I personally have aversion to long stretches of IM-only 'cuz the text puts me to sleep and bores me. So, I like to meet people inworld to see how they express themselves additionally through their avatar appearance, gestures, and soforth. Adds a lot of new dimensions to their representative personality on here.

But, looking at a sort of probability table, I'm going to throw out something silly here:

Established "oldbie" meets 20 newbies. 19 of them treat him badly, either via griefing or downright incompetent rudeness and other uncomfortable, dumbass behavior. What's the chance the "oldbie" would be on edge and wary when it comes to meeting Newbie #20, even if this newcomer is peaches-n-cream?

When it comes down to it, time and time again, I cannot generalize.

It comes down to the individual. Even with LL as a company with multiple employees, they are not clones. Same goes for people who may be members of one or more prominent groups inworld. I don't confuse my Mistress Midnights with my Torrid Midnights with my Chip Midnights with my Cristiano Midnights. To do so would be absurd and revoke an amazing thing about SL: that is, to express one's self.