Do you NEED your girlfriend/boyfriend?

I always need my loved one cant live without my other half..you realise how much you miss them when they are gone but when they come back.. its just perfect makes your love stronger but always better to have them by your side

If you broke up wish such a person, would friendship still be possible for you? I don't mean the cliche "let's just be friends" either. I mean really being around and talking to this person everyday....

no, I couldn't be around the person for fear of falling into the same traps over and over again.
It would take me several years of distancing myself before I could feel free to just be friends.

Of course I need my wife....

Otherwise who else would bitch me out for not wearing matched socks?
Wake me up to tell me we're out of coffee?
Break computers just in case I get bored and need something to do?
Make me watch 'Will and Grace' before surrendering the remote control..

... these things don't just do themselves you know!

Sheesh!

Siggy.

I'm afraid that is, indeed, a rare occurrence. It implies a tremendous level of maturity on the part of each person.

At any rate, I think what we are all overlooking, to a degree, is the heartache you are experiencing. Give your self permission to grieve. This situation is truly a form of "loss," and it should not be minimized or rationalized away. Let yourself go through the grieving process. Failing to do this will only set you up for another fall, down the road. Who knows what the future has in store? Much brighter days may well lie ahead for you.

I'll leave with this one last thought. A good friend of mine made this suggestion to me as a way to move beyond the ghosts of the past. In your mind, paint a picture of a sign. Place the sign a foot or two in front of your face. In bold lettering, imprint the following words on the sign:

That was yesterday

Wishing you the happiest of holidays.

--Paolo

Kade,

I agree with Eggy's comments. If I am in love with someone I need their company. I want to be with them as much as I can. While it's possible for a couple to accommodate each other's needs for personal space if their needs differ, in your case it sounds as though you are on opposite sides of a chasm.

I don't think there is the least chance of your finding happiness with this person. IMV you should dump him, and find someone who appreciates you and really needs your company.

I just need an imaginary friend. Mine is Gorgo the 6 foot Ninja Wombat. (He has a thyroid problem).

I havn't read those other books, so I don't know how accurate your bf's critiques are. What I like about the book I mentioned is it isn't gimmicky or how to manipulate a guy into somehow liking you. There's no rules or regimin or game plan- it just points out red flag behaviour to look out for with guys, and it also zeros in on unhealthy expectations and attitudes that some women have.

I think the other posters who've warned you that this guy is being disrespectful are correct. Lose him before he hurts you again.

The way you have described your relationship with this guy I don't see it working, but forgetting that and just focusing on the book thing...

I have more than a little peeve with the so called science of Psychology. I went through some tough emotional times when I was growing up with my Dad sending me to all these psychologists. It was clear to me then and still is, they were full of shit, well except for one but that was only because she knew how to be a human being and was too late because I was just leaving home. I remember one day my Dad said he had a magazine to show me. I said "Anything but Psychology Today". It was and he never showed me the article.

And then many years later, I got a job in a bookstore. I'm still working there, 16 years now. But a year into the job I was told I was responsible for the Self Help section and had to hold onto it for a year. I told the manager of the store, I don't know how to order new titles, they all look the same to me, which was rather risky. And she said she would do it. So I never had to deal with whether Women who Love too Much would sell better than Men are from Mars or the other 100s of silly crap titles in that section.

I don't think the writers of those books write them to show women how to be bitches to men but the vast majority of them seem to me to be garbage.