Join my club slaves!!!

ok so I made my first group, the Ilsa She-Wolf of the SS club, based upon the movie of which I quote from an online review http://www.prisonflicks.com/reviews.php?filmID=46 :

The movie is set in Nazi slave labor camp (actually and famously the set from "Hogan’s Heroes," which given Bob Crane’s own kinky personal life is strangely appropriate). Our "heroine" is the camp commandant (played by Dyanne Thorne), a deranged sex-maniac-qua-mad scientist. The first part of that moniker is demonstrated by her practice of forcing male prisoners to have sex with her, castrating those who fail to satisfy her... and boy is she ever a hard gal to please.

only my prsion camp is for captured french peasant girls, members of royal families caught up in the torment of war and assorted underground agents who have to endure the twisted experiements that only a blonde, spiked healed wearing, camp commandant with an insatiable lust can devise.

Goths and furrys are welcome to be captured and I will be recruiting tough Ilsa's to arrange suitable experiments on the captives.

So please join my group if you think this can be fun!

and another quote http://www.prisonflicks.com/reviews.php?filmID=46 for those of you not yet thrilled with the idea:

for that matter. What struck me most about the movie is how boring it is. Sitting through is something of a chore, although one has to admire how single-mindedly the filmmakers take up the challenge of trying offend everyone possible.

woah,lighten up dude!!! It's Hogan's Hero's with D/s no biggie...

and more from that review

(6) The only truly disturbing scene is the famous dinner sequence. In honor of a visiting general, Ilsa throws a party which includes killing a prisoner by tying a noose around her neck and placing her on a block of ice. When he body heat melts the ice she dies. This occurs while Ilsa and the general drink and gorge themselves, and is followed by a truly weird sequence where Ilsa indulges the general's perversions by urinating on him.

(7) The movie ends on a strange note. After the prisoners revolt and seize the camp, they mete out justice to their tormentors. Wolfe and his girlfriend Kala -- who, btw, makes it through the movie without being raped or disfigured -- sneak out, but all the other inmates are massacred by German troops who destroy the camp and burn it to prevent the allies from discovering it.

I'm lost???

So joining your group is a free act, yet members are treated like slaves?

And you are the nazi camp boss?

obviously this is dark-humor so don't bother with the griefer comments, oooh forgot to mention, I haven't seen the movie but one of my favorite bands, Murphys Law (on Run Dmc's record label Profile btw!), wrote a kick ass punk song called Ilsa he-Wolf of the SS, see it was ok to use nazi imagery back then if you were a punk rocker *spits* but the band got it wrong as Ilsa doesn't "cut off your cock if you fail to satisfy" it's just your balls according to movie reviews. So I have loved that song for a loong time and now I can act it out!!

here's another review...

Editorial Reviews
Amazon.com
This notorious Canadian sexploitation cult classic is one of the most sick and sadistic features ever released to a general audience, and the only film that producer David F. Friedman, the king of sleaze himself, was so ashamed of that he removed his name from it. Statuesque, buxom blonde Dyanne Thorne is Ilsa, the ruthless commandant of a Nazi medical camp who subjects her patients (mostly naked women) through the most painful and brutal tortures she can think of to prove the superiority of the female sex to Nazi high command. At night she goes through the male prisoners like boy toys to be discarded and castrated the next day ("Once a prisoner has slept with me, he'll never sleep with another woman!", until she meets a man she can't conquer in bed. It proves to be her downfall. Vamping it up with a corny German growl, Thorne leers with gargoylish delight at her latest diabolical tortures: grotesque, gangrenous infections, exploding sex toys, boiling alive, and a dinner centerpiece involving a naked girl, a noose, and a melting block of ice that leaves her dangling by meal's end. Directed with an artless bluntness and a cold cynicism, it's a brutal, nasty film, utterly tasteless yet perversely fascinating. It was reportedly shot in a week on sets left over from the sitcom Hogan's Heroes, and proved so successful that it spawned two official and one unofficial sequels.

yes, I'm the Nazi camp boss and if you step your pretty little toes inside you might wind up in terrible experiments reported to being about the ultimate orgasmic power that the Nazi's will use to enslave the world unless a brave, secret agent, nymphomanic can outwit Ilsa by sacrificing her body to Ilsa's twisted bondage equipment while her mind remains free to gain information for the Allies who eventually capture Ilsa and spank her for being so naughty.

So yeah, I didn't say all the prisoners are treated like slaves, I also like The Princess Bride and cant do anything too nasty to prisoners who like that movie as well as Ilsa. Ilsa does have a heart but it was stolen by her horny cousin, Inga who, while coincidently another camp commandant with spikey heels, prefers men, no tears please, *adjusts shiney leather hat *cracks whip*, time to take my pent up lust out on these prisoners...

another review, wow I actually might have to see this film!!!

How can anyone Nazi(Not See) This Film??, October 25, 2004
Reviewer: Stanley Runk "Runkdapunk" (Camp North Pines) - See all my reviews

Ilsa's a movie that you kinda feel guilty enjoying(a guilty pleasure if I ever saw one). I mean, it's in such extremely bad taste to take the atrocities of the third reich and make it into a sleazy sex and violence flick. So, yeah I feel kinda bad that I like this film. It's kinda like laughing at a racist joke when you're not racist. Ilsa's plotless plot is pretty much Ilsa running a smaller scale Auschwitz that caters to torturing women and sleeping with/castrating men. A new male arrival at the camp turns out to be just the superman Ilsa's been looking for and she gets taken with him as everyone else plans their Great Escape. That's the plot. The running time is padded with numerous torture and softcore sex scenes, sometimes a mix of the two. I didn't know that female SS officers whipped people while topless. I might have to get thrown into a camp like Ilsa's. Dyanne Thorne is not the most beautiful woman in the world, but she pushes the sexy needle right into the red. She can be my She Wolf any day. A real high point to this dvd is the commentary. It's very funny. The makers of this film(including Thorne) realize the kind of film they've made and have no problems heckling it, very funny. They do get a little sidetracked from the action onscreen(I would have liked to hear Thorne's take on some of the scenes if you know what I mean), but do manage to cover almost everything you want to know about the making of the film. It won't hurt to check this out if you're curious. I wouldn't pay too much attention to one star reviews, coz anyone who knows the film's title, looks at the cover and reads the back of the box knows what to expect-And it's not Schindler's List!! As a matter of fact I'm puzzled as to what the one star reviewers were expecting from a film called Ilsa: She Wolf Of The SS, and why they even watched it if they were already offended by the subject matter. Oh, well, I don't claim to know it all. I do know, however, that you should check out Ilsa just to say you saw it.

Coming soon...




Wait... What did I just say??!!

Ooof. I'm going back to bed.

hehe!! that's ALTERNATE DIMENTION Nazi Uniforms and they haaaavvvvve to be luscious and sexy and show who's the boss, I think you could do that Aimee!

Insensate and depraved, July 20, 2004
Reviewer: Jeffrey Leach (Omaha, NE USA)


"Ilsa: She-Wolf of the SS" is perhaps one of the better known exploitation films made in the last thirty years. The picture, directed by Don Edmonds and starring Dyanne Thorne in the titular role, is also one of the most disturbing. Oddly enough, I found this movie even more sickening the second time around. The first time I watched Ilsa do her stuff was on an old VHS tape about five years ago, and I didn't think the film was as horrific as many viewers made it out to be. Usually, the disgust factor works the other way around: the first viewing is the worst with the shock value wearing away on subsequent viewings. I should probably question the value of even watching "Ilsa: She-Wolf of the SS" more than once, but I wanted to see what the picture looked like with a snappy new transfer to DVD. Moreover, I wanted to listen to the commentary track with Edmonds, Thorne, and producer David Friedman of "Blood Feast" fame (billed here as Herman Traeger). I wasn't disappointed; the picture quality of "Ilsa" is stunning for such a low budget piece of trash. The commentary track too makes this disc a must have for lovers of schlock cinema. Just don't pop this one in the DVD player when the relatives show up or as a substitute for taking your gal out on the town.

Ilsa machine guns down stupid critic before he can breed and polute the gene pool with his wussyness. Using the word "titular" instead of mentioning her tits was proof enough that, that prisoner was not worthy of the extra ultra mega bondage equipment feindishly cooked up Ilsa's twisted SS scientists. A so called man who was disgusted by Ilsa's art form, he had no use to us, Ilsa said outloud to the other prisoners, so we did the Fatherland a favor and removed him from the food chain, you of course will be brave and willingly submit to our devices and cooperate, fully, with our, reasonable *devious smile* demands...

Ilsa, the most feared and reviled Nazi of them all, will stop at nothing to prove that women are better endowed for combat than men. Along with her squadron of deadly "black widows," she commits crimes so terrible that even the SS fears her wrath. But she meets her match in an American POW, who uses his sexual prowess to combat the She Wolf's insatiable appetite and bring her to her knees.

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/ilsa_she_wolf_of_the_ss/about.php

Ilsa throws her head back and laughs, there are no American POW's at her camp, they all escaped and lived after ever in the USA listening to do-wop music, no, these are naughty French peasant girls and members of the Russian royal family, the Fatherland needed pawns in it's ruthless conquest of the universe, capturing Mars was easy, but Europe itself was still a seething mass of underground agents peeking up at Ilsa through the floorboards of her bathroom in hopes that clues would drip from the glistening goodies would help keeep the nazi menace at bay.

Amidst the scant sex and violence is the standard escape from prison plot, replete with a violent overthrow by the prisoners and lots of guards dying in slow motion. There is even the good old "getting revenge on your torturous captors" sequence. The shoot out sequence is decently done though, and they even include a cool "splintery" explosion of a guard tower that rains debris all over the camera.

http://www.daily-reviews.com/i/bmilsa1.htm

Ilsa says "luckily we are a shadow dimention somewhere reflected from Amber so your gunpower doesn't work, but elctro dildo's do muhahahhahaha!!!"

Bad taste dude.

that was part of the appeal of the whole thing *sigh* no one wants to join anyway, and a lot of people have read this thread, so I must conclude that no one likes Hogans Hero's and softcore porn anymore *chokes* all I wanted to do was be a nazi bitch from hell, is that so wrong? *sob*

does it say anything that you've posted replies to your own thread 10 out of the 14 times?

yo, just because the vast majority of you people are little old ladies that doesn't infringe upon my right to ask for participants in my adventure. Why do you have to spoil my fun anyway?

Just told my friend Geneo what you wrote and he fell off his chair laughing, he just gave a speach on how I spent 4 hours reading reviews for Isla today and how dorky I am. I thought he would take my side!! *wails*

great thread

This is infact a great thread. I've never seen sombody post more replies to their own thread than anyone else. You'd think they'd just compress it all into one.. rather than several posts in a row.

You should really see the movie.

Hehehe Daz, I've always enjoyed your sense of humor as well as your art. Although I must say, count me out of this one, just a lil too weird for this little old lady lol. OK so 31 doesn't count as a little old lady really does it?

I'm all for dark humor, but I think posting this thread 2 days after Holocaust Day is pretty insensitive.

Maybe your next project should be about this movie: http://imdb.com/title/tt0274518/

Agreed.
I fail to find any humor anytime with anything associated with Nazis.