What is the correct method for eating a muffin during a business meeting?

I am almost embarassed to add to this post

I eat my muffin with a fork.


+++++

Don't be embarrassed Pituca. I read the whole thread thinking, Um why don't you just use a fork?

/shrug

Maybe my grandmother sending me to cotillion all those years back actually did have some impact on my manners. For shame!

Zana

LOL I am usualy logged in for 8 but reely I just read and post during the down time and eat muffins LOL

Sheesh!
You guys all miss the obvious!
Bring a box of muffins to the meeting.
If you are alone in having something to eat at one of my meetings and didnt think enough of your coworkers or your boss and you tear into that muffin... yer on the S list for sure.
First chance I get to replace you, yer gone.

I prefer bagels.

OK for the prankster at heart:

1) you walk around the break room just before the meeting eyeing up the muffin vendor.

2) you plug the vendor machine with coins and just as it opens up for you to take the muffin you look around to see if anyone is watching you.

3) you snatch the muffin and hold it to you as if its the last bit of food on the planet (looking evily at the person standing next to you as if they want to take it from you).

4) you walk into the meeting room with muffin in hand behind your back as to hide it from the muffin thief.

5) As the meeting starts to progress you take muffin and secretly place it in your lap under the table.

6) you eat muffin bits at a time. By looking around making sure no one is spying on you, you pinch a peice off and quickly shove in mouth, and look around to see if anyone is watching.

7) If they arent watching repeat step 6 till muffin gone, if they are turn slightly away from them as to hide your treasure from them and continue #6.

No more muffin left...hmmm no what ya say, You fold up the muffin wrapper in neat even folds till you can't fold in no more. Then look around as if nothing happened. Then toss the muffin wrapper (under the table) in the direction of the muffin spy.

9) Continue listening in the meeting as if nothing happened.

THE END

1) Procure muffin from muffin stand.
2) Unwrap muffin-safe muffin wrapper.
3) Dishinge jaw.
4) Ingest muffin whole.

But, that's just me.

LF

Pituca / Zana

Umm hello?!?! You don't eat bread with a fork. That would be like eating peas with a knife, or using a straw for jellow (which works btw)

Your co-workers are probably talking about you two right now

Ron Marr should know better: Its "hill people" not "hillbillies"

I eat my peas with honey
I've done it all my life
It makes my peas taste funny
But it keeps them on my knife.

But muffins are like cupcakes, hehe Oh well, the things our mothers trained us to do are hard to overcome.

*bump* (because it was the funniest thread ever)

I don't know what the best way to eat it is, but for entertainment value during a boring meeting, just break off small chunks and throw them at co-workers that annoy you when the boss's back is turned looking at the view screen on the wall. Throw them as hard as you can (peg them with muffin chunks), so they break up and make crumbs everywhere.

Hmmm, so the mouth is out of the question...... I would go with one of the 8 other holes, although two are occupied (eye sockets). Or just cut open your torso and put it inside your stomach manually.

Note to self: Do not reattempt to devour muffin whole, ESPECIALY a dry, corn muffin, and ESPECIALY when you start to laugh hystericaly at the comment somone made to you after pulling this stunt. Good thing it was during lunch break and not a meeting. I was unable to speak for a good ten minutes

1) aquire Muffin
2) Sit down pull out (3)-18" paper napkins
3) Open First napkin and tuck napkin in shirt collar.
4) Adjust coffee mug so that SL hand print is facing rest of room.
5) Open Second Napkin and spread on table before you.
6) Gently place muffin in middle of Second Napkin
7) Open third napkin and make an oragami rose out of it
Place Rose beside Muffin
9) If Muffin has plastic wrapper still on it pull our magnifying Monical.
10) Reach in Left ankle and pull out 6" hawk bill lock blade.
11) promptly cut plastic off Muffin using Monical vision as a guiding tool to cut by.
12) Pick up Plastic wrapper and move off Napkin on table.
13) Wipe hawkbill on pants close and put back in boot.
14) Pick up and inspect Muffin with Monical, checking for quality of materials contained therin.
15) put muffin down and grabbing a rubber band out of your pocket you grasp each corner of the napkin on the table and pull to one point centered above the muffin.
16) Use Rubber Band to wrap around the 4 corners you make an object shaped like a pineapple.
17) Pickup pineapple shaped wrapped muffin and promptly put in briefcase.
1 remove monical
19) remove Napkin from neck
20) Look around the room sternly in an inquisitive manor as to why the meeting has yet to begin.
21) at end of day take muffin home and feed to aviary of birds in your appartment and repeat again next day.

Shadow

You know, this would make a great "Ask Slashdot" article

Where I work, it's fine to just have at the muffin. (But stay away from the lemon poppyseed muffins. They're not safe for human consumption)

I'd love to try the muffin interrogation, but I wouldn't be able to keep a straight face.

1. Place muffin in front of you on table.
2. Sing to it softly. I prefer repeating "I'm gonna eat ya, little muffin...
3. Pick apart muffin in small bits, approximately 3/4" wide (or less).
4. Around bite 3, start moaning softly.
5. Around bite 5, moan louder, like you are about to have an orgasm. Slow your eating pace.
6. At this point, if there is anyone in the meeting you sense a bit of sexual tension from, start glaring at that person. Continue to consume muffin.

You have now hit the point of no return. Muffin should be almost gone. Things can only get better or go horribly wrong. Two possible courses of action:

If that person you glared at is liking it, and is a superior, smile at that person, and come to full fake orgasm on the last muffin bite. After the meeting, plan on how you will spend your sugar daddy raise.

If the person you glared at looks displeased, you must implement your exit strategy. Best way to do this is to stop moaning softly, and start moaning painfully. Roll your eyes back into your head, slump backwards in chair. Froth at the mouth, then shudder uncontrollaby.

Your co-workers will call an ambulance, and comfort you until it arrives. They will forget that you made a fool of yourself, and you will score a few sick days. When you return to work, just tell your co-workers that someone probably slipped you a muffin stuffed with crack, and leave it at that.

But this is more fun! I'd love to see this in a movie. Sounds like a Tom Green stunt.

Via osmosis