Jeska Linden: Go, Baby, Go!

Just being contrarian.

Honestly, it's not like deleting half the threads and moving the other half to Mongolia would hurt anything. I call for a new SL holiday: Modmas. On Modmas the forum mods are given absolute power and no consequences. Suspend people, ban people, change titles and avatars, run a filter to switch every instance of the word "the" to "I molest goats", flame and flame and flame. Dish it out and see how we like it for a change. Then, after Modmas, everything goes back to normal but maybe, just maybe, we've learned a little bit about life, and each other, and perhaps even ourselves.


The Night Before Modmas
'Twas the night before Modmas, when all 'cross the board
Not a creature was flaming, not even one word.
The questions and comments were crafted with care,
In hopes that some Linden soon would post there.

The posters were nestled all snug in their threads,
While visions of five-star votes danced in their heads.
And I in my office, scootched down in my seat,
Had just settled in for a long comfy read.

When out of my browser there rose such a screech,
Like a swamp skinny-dipper who just found the first leech.
For the keyboard and mouse I reached in great fear,
Hit Reload and Maximize and what did I hear?

A howl of cold laughter that made my blood burn,
And a shudder that ran through each forum in turn.
The background was black now and the font it was red,
With dark "New Posts" icons shaped like severed heads!

They popped up so fast, like bubbles in Fresca,
I knew right away that it must be St. Jeska.
Like rampaging hippoes her replies they came,
And she laughed as they'd plead and be banned just the same.

"Banned: flamer! Banned: namer!
Banned: repost! Banned: FIC!
Banned: AR-abuser!
Banned: race-bait! Banned: dick!
From the top of Announcements,
To Today's Birthdays! (lol),
Go post on Fark, post on Fark,
Post on Fark all!"

As anti-intellectual cockroaches scuttle,
When faced with a pseudo-intellectual rebuttal,
So out of the forums the posters they flew,
Helped along the way by Jeska's right shoe.

Then in my thread I stopped what I was doing,
For suddenly appeared at the bottom: (2 viewing).
As I hastened to edit my off-topic tone,
Into my post Jeska leapt all alone.

She was dressed all in words, from her head to her feet,
Her necklace was smilies but her eyes said "delete".
She had tasteful prim hair and a Nomine tan,
But she looked like a whup-ass vendor opening a free can.

Her bling jewelry, how it sparkled! Her dimples, how merry!
Her twitching trigger finger on the delete button was scary!
She carried a purse, in itself not so silly,
But it wasn't Gucci or Liz, it was made out of billy!
She paused to edit certain poster's occupations,
Titles and avatars, names and locations,
Sig quotes and PM's and shout-outs to mates,
To include things illegal in 49 states.

She was perky and bright, a right jolly young mod,
And I smiled when I saw her (but still prayed to God).
A wink of her eye and a flip of her head,
Did nothing to quiet the feeling of dread.

She deleted my old posts and went straight to work,
Posting in my name, "I'm a kitten ****ing jerk."
She switched my avatar to goatse and looked up askance,
"Did you think being an ass-kiss would spare you? No chance!"

She brewed up a molotov, set the servers on fire,
Hacked the power grid and sent a massive jolt down my wire,
But I heard her exclaim, err my monitor died,
"Merry Modmas to all, and to all a good night!"

I so totally support this product or service.

(Post modmas: "I have a big ass and I like to rub it in sheep dung!"

I <3 Jeska

If I had to be the next-to-last survivor of a nuclear apocalypse, and I and the last survivor had to repopulate the earth Adam and Eve style, and the last survivor had to be one of the Lindens, I would want it to be Jeska, not for any sexual reason, but because if you have to live through a nuclear apocalypse you want to be with someone who has proven they can deal with hardship and pain without losing their cool. The forums are a lot like a post-apocalyptic wasteland, only with more mutants.

May I molest sheep instead? Goats are a bit rough.

"Modmas....for the rest of us"

(with apologies to Seinfield)

-Rose

I love Jeska! I think she does the best job she can with the time and tools she has available. My gripe is that she needs more help, and that there needs to be more consistancy with the way the forums are managed. Too often things are moved that shouldn't be, and things are not moved should be. And many times things are taken out of context but are edited due to AR reports. Which many people abuse. (I wouldn't be surprised if someone ARed the OP of this thread because they get offended by the 3rd poll option). We are adults here, we are building a community. But we are also stiffled greatly in the one location we can easily communicate, these forums. But I have a whole other post devoted to this issue.

Elucidate please.

Ballocks! You meant "pre-modmas" didn't you?

Assfedora!

Death to Julian. Long live Jeska.

~Ulrika~

Long live Jeska!
Long live Ulrika!
Long live *ka!

Women who's names end with 'ka' turn me on.

'ka' and 'fur'.

I full endorse the idea of Moderatrix II: Apocalypse!

Whenever I read Jeska's comments here, I like to add on "....dumbasses" at the end.

"Kindly refrain from attacking those you don't agree with....dumbasses."

You know she's thinking it.

Thats like when I watch Law and Order and Ice Tea says something.. he always pauses for a moment.. I like to think in his mind he's saying 'Bitch...'

Add it yourself sometime while you watch, you'll see I'm right...

'Rookie, get over here'....(bitch)...'And get me that report!'

ModMas—now that sounds like it could be a unique SL cultural tradition!

I'm always thinking that when I chat with you.

Well, thats coz I'm always making you mine

Touche.

<snuggles her Jeska bear>

Jeska Linden is awesomeness. She replied to my forum support e-mail within a day and solved my problem. Cheers! =D

Me too. It's easy to project all kinds of implied content in her posts. Note that I say "project".

Come on, people, don't bring up policy inconsistencies in a Modmas discussion. That's like talking about a kid's report card on Christmas day. Also, it makes you a target when the Modmas festivities begin.


Edit: Moved the poem to the first post.

I love you and i want to bear your children.

Instant classic! *applauds*

Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant.

~Ulrika~