Help For A Better SL By Sacrificing A Newb!

NAh. This is for the Upgrade Gods, the powers that be that will watch over the Lindenlab crew as the monkey about with the hardware. We will offer them a virtual pentinence and ask for their blessing. Normally one would just sacrifice a caffianted beverage or jam-prone printer.

Oh, you mean these so-called gods that run around harassing barely sentient creatures who have just about figured out language, subjecting delusional shepards and village elders to their petty whims? Shoot, go right ahead, their imagination and power are so pathetic compared to the Ancient Ones that they hardly seem like a threat...

And Kage: Please do not invoke the Grid with a Thousand Sims carelessly! Unless you *want* to wind up with your avatar turned inside out and unable to logoff, and Bisque reduced to a featureless wireframe void...

You mean you'll banish him to ActiveWorlds? harsh.

That's a great idea!

But can we find any fun-loving noob willing to do it?

It would be more effective to choose the sacrificial agents based on inventory size. Much more efficient in terms of reducing the load to pick those with the largest stockpile, don't you think? In fact let them stay, just make them give up their inventories. That way they'll have to buy lindens to build up their supply again.

Still Need The Following....

- A plot in an open sim with little actually around it and grou[ build rights.
- a noob (or land baron, or two noobs) to sacrifice.
- Dancers and a DJ with some tribal or vocal music.
- Somoene to read out a prayer. (a Linden?)
- Security personnel or a good kick orb.
- a big wood thing to burn soemone with. I'm going to put one together today.

I should be online most of today, feel free to IM me or catch me in IRC.

You know, I understand the purpose and the humor in the the title of the post. I think any long time resident who has ben frustrated by the assest server will.

But then it struck me that posts about sacrificing newbs might not be the sort of thing that makes new players feel welcome. It sure would put me off if I were a new player in the forums. Frankyl I have thought that one of the most damaging and crippling aspects of the online comunity is the newbie/odlbie distinction. This sort of post, while in fact, very humorous, is the type of thing that makes the allegations of FIC seem more reasonable.

My fave pick-up line happened last night as I was in a store. A relatively new guy said I was Hot and what could he do to 'get my digits' like he really thought I would give my number out lol

We will need a lot of hippos to keep away the gnomes who'd want this plan to fail.

*curls up in ball laughing* Oh the visuals you just gave me.. my co workers are convinced I've finally lost the last remnants of sanity I had left...

"Feel the burn" has a whole new meaning ...