Should LL stop making offers of parrot kisses it won't deliver?

"Welcome to Second Life." the parrot said, cocking his head.

I looked around, wondering if the parrot was another user, or just a program. Little then, did I know the truth.

"Hello Mr Parrot."

"Well and good, then!" the parrot squawked. "Now Desmond, whisper to me your darkest dreams, and I shall send you onward to your destiny."


This was no ordinary parrot. But of course, I was new. I had never heard of the FIC, the elusive Teki Wiki or the eternal red light districts where anything could be bought for $L.

I started to walk away.

"STOP!" it shrieked, with a flash of brightness, feathers flickering.

I stopped, and returned its cold stare.

"What do you desire, Desmond?"

"I... don't know. I just found this world to be interesting, that's all."

"Everyone has a flaw. What is yours?"

"I have many, Mr Parrot."

It looked at me carefully with one eye. "Tell me the one that will define your destiny."

I should have walked away right then, but I stood, motionless.

The parrot examined me carefully. "You didn't fuss much about your appearance... so it isn't vanity, or sexual. You were nice to the other noobs - it is not control over others. What is left?"

I heard a coin sound, and then suddenly, I was richer. The parrot had given me money! It was hundreds of $L! I felt the warm, satisfying flush of unexpected wealth.

"I see." said the parrot, mysteriously. I'll be visiting you again."

The world went black, and I found myself in a strange desert, with half-finished objects scattered everywhere.



Nothing happened for months, and I began to forget about the parrot.

But slowly, the parrot's unspoken vision came true.

I ply my business as every man does, and I've had some success, but somehow, I have the sense that the parrot is watching me.

When I bought my first land, I thought I heard some rustling in the bushes. The day I first put some things for sale, I heard a definite squawk in the trees.

But it is not only I with a debt to repay the parrot.


Some, the parrot made rich and powerful; others, slaves. Some gamble their lives away, some bounce from one bad partnership to another.

Others were trapped in towers, endlessly scripting things that no other would ever see or care about. Some wretched souls were forever doomed as FIC. In the most tragic cases, the parrot cast its victim down to the forums, to forever search for love and validation.

The parrot's curse is unavoidable and permanent - no matter how many alts you make, no matter what world you go to... the curse may fade for a while but eventually, it always returns.

Orientation Island, indeed.

I think you can forget about running for president

An excerpt from "The Parrot" by Edgar Allan Poe:

...

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately parrot, of the saintly days of yore.
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door.
Perched upon a bust of Pallas, just above my chamber door,
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this rainbowy bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
"Though thy crest be shorn and shaven thou," I said, "art sure no craven,
Ghastly, grim, and ancient parrot, wandering from the nightly shore.
Tell me what the lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore."
Quoth the parrot, "Just say 'please give me a kiss'."

Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning, little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door,
Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
With such name as "Chat Parrot."

But the parrot, sitting lonely on that placid bust, spoke only
Those seven words, as if his soul in those seven words he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered; not a feather then he fluttered;
Till I scarcely more than muttered, "Other friends have flown before;
On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before. Please give me a kiss?"
Then the bird said, "Sorry, one kiss per human."

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
"Doubtless," said I, "what it utters is its only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy master, whom unmerciful disaster
Followed fast and followed faster, till his songs one burden bore,---
Till the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden bore
Of "One---one kiss per human."

But the parrot still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird, and bust and door;
Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore --
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt and ominous bird of yore
Meant in croaking "Just say 'please give me a kiss'."

Thus I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl, whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamplight gloated o'er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamplight gloating o'er
She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by seraphim whose footfalls tinkled on the tufted floor.
"Wretch," I cried, "thy God hath lent thee -- by these angels he hath
Sent thee respite---respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore!
Quaff, O quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost Lenore!"
Quoth the parrot, "Leave me now, I must sleep"

...


(http://www.comnet.ca/~forrest/raven.html)

Raven?

This poem is supposed to be about a parrot, what is up with this raven talk?

The author must be stark raven mad.

The parrot didn't even reply to me when I say "please give me a kiss". I felt stupid and I'm sure that's what it wanted. I'm still emotionaly scared by this...

and the parrot still influence my second life. Lots of people pass by and don't say "hi" or talk to me ; I think they are alts of the parrot. Second Life is actually Second Solitude

I think you have taken it too hard. No one I know of in SL promises as much and delivers as little as the chat parrot, not even the guy who used to be working on Havoc 2.

The suggestion that we are alts of the parrot is a bit extreme, don't you think?

Well, cheer up, sometimes you just have to be a bit forceful and persistent with recluses and hermits, many would like company but are just shy and awk-awkward and you have to keep knocking on the latch till they let you in their cage, so to speak.

Enough for the moment, it's time for my seeds and crackers.

You may be joking, but this actually seems to be the case with most SL'ers ("why would you be in a community if you didnt want me to stand here bugging you while you're obviously busy?". I always wonder exactly which part of "fuck off" is difficult for the average resident to understand.

Utterly inspired - uniquely brilliant

<3 Suezanne!

I did look through my inventory and found an item named "parrot", however when I dragged it out of my inventory it wasn't a parrot but instead was a species of grey bird, with lines on it. I have never seen this species of bird and am wondering why it was called "parrot" in my inventory, instead of "Gray Speckled Slowloader". Additionally, can I use saffron in my recipe? I don't even really like how it tastes but it helps me to feel as tho I am wealthy and pretentious. Right after I kick that parrot's a$$, I'm takin' down Bobby Flay...

LMAO

I did once see a newbie shout... "Hellooooo pollly" to the bird.

Before or after thumping its body on the counter?

I never even tried to kiss the bird.. Does that make me a bad person, or a sensible one?

They're onto us, parrot. Engage your subliminal FIC mode.