Virtual Addiction

I hope we use sl in a sensible way. Never allowing it to interfere with our realities. Giving our full attenion to profession, career, partners, and children.

Just recently I have seen how destructive a virtual reality (NOT Secondlife) can be. Tragedy has inpacted a family I know, due - in part - to one man's inability to refrain from hours on a certain "computer virtual reality" -although the game itself is only partly responsible for the actions that followed.

I am curious to find out what your opinions are on addiction and virtulaities happen to be. I have mine own but...

in your opinion, when does a virtual reality (like sl) become a dangerous and destructive addiction? Or is it only the users themselves who are to blame when things go wrong? What can be done - by players - to help those who are obviously incapable of behaving with self-determination and individual self-esteem.

Usually after 12 hours. (^_^)

I spend 16 hours online on Saturdays. (^_^)y

When you grab for the mouse to cam over the car in front of you at the tollbooth.

The game, format, venue, or whatever is *never* to blame for neglected reality. That would be like saying rock and roll causes people to use drugs, worship Satan, and commit suicide. It never has, never will, and indeed cannot, in my opinion directly cause anything harmful except possibly tinnitus.

I think it is highly possible that virtual worlds could become addictive however as they begin to get more and more immersive. (SL is nowhere near that point yet for me.) I have read news stories of young folks who slide into depression after seeing "Avatar" when they realize the real world is not that beautiful and harmonious. Here is the article:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1242409/The-Avatar-effect-Movie-goers-feel-depressed-suicidal-able-visit-utopian-alien-planet.html

I found the movie an invigorating work or art, however derivative of the works of an uncredited Roger Dean. It did not leave me depressed at all. I think we could have a world like that some day, but we'll have to work for it. It's works of art like "Avatar" and many of the creations in SL that can inspire us to build those worlds in reality - even as a young Robert Goddard was inspired to build rockets after reading the Barsoom (Mars) novels of Edgar Rice Burroughs, helping to create an industry that has made this internet discussion possible.


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It's like anything -- to excess, what it is, "it" is harmful.

Just like drugs and alcohol -- the moment it interferes with regular life activities and those in one's living circle (family), then it's time to pull back or quit.

One person spending one hour in SL per day may be as destructive as another spending 10 hours per day in SL. It's a case by case situation, and should be treated as such.

Says me, who still needs to pack up and put away his Christmas tree. /me coughs

Second Life's social system does tend to reward the addicted. (Not out of deliberate malice, you understand.) But if someone runs events daily at 9am and 3pm, they're going to be noticed a lot faster than somebody who does them once a week at 8pm; so that person may feel under pressure to spend an unhealthy amount of time in SL to have the experience they want.

I think that addiction comes from unhappiness in RL.

I've seen it a few times, unhappy RL for some reason, and rather than deal with it people spend more and more time in SL escaping it.

well obviously we aren't giving our "full attention" to any of those as we're here reading and posting....


I disagree, I place blame solidly in the first sentence... the person's inability (for whatever reason) to walk away.


absolutely anything can become an addiction, forum posting for example =) that does not necessarily mean that object of the addiction is responsible.


in a sense, yes, although perhaps not by conscious act. escapism can be both a good an a bad thing. when it becomes a short term solution to a long term problem, and that realization doesn't cause a strong desire for, and pursuit of change, then the person in question has made a choice, however self detrimental in the long run, and they will face the consequences of that choice.


assuming the person wants help, and you want to help them... not much... you can suggest resources, and actions, but it is up to the addicted person to make the choice to follow through.

if they are unwilling, and you feel like you are encouraging that, and don't want to for their sake, you could cut all ties with them, and that may or may not encourage them to change their behavior, but it's more likely they will find another ready source to fulfill their wants.

Thank you Argent, I'm still laughing.

Games are not "responsible", they do not have intelligence. People are responsible for their choices.

(Yes, that includes me.)

just wanted to add, as a smoker I accept that my addiction is the result of my own CONTINUING choices. I could quit, but I wouldn't like it. the difference is that it doesn't interfere with the other choices I've made for my life.

^
that
please send a note to my doctor that it is ok. poor guy can't even get his own mother to quit.

This is something i have noticed in SL and other programs.,Having in this case SL interfere in RL relationships. Often one party comes in to SL looking for fun, in RL they are married and often do the "my wife/husband does not understand/give me what i want/need. They often say their RL partner does not know they come into SL or if they do they don't know what they do in here. When asked if they would tell their partner they are HELL NO. I have to wonder why is what your doing here so bad/wrong. This is when I feel a program interferes. Maybe not knowingly but if you come to SL looking for something your partner is not giving you why not spend te time you do in SL with them. Why not spend the time with them talking telling them the things you tell us after all they have a vested interest in you I dont.



I do know of marriages that have ended due to one partner being "involved" with someone OL. They use the term "love" "need" desire" to this person they had never met and wonders why their RL partner was hurt when she seen this. He said they mean nothing jet playing she wondered is he just playing when he has said them to her?




To me the moment you cant tell others you are involved with in RL what your up to or feel the need to quickly exit when they come close

You're camming over to cars at the toll booth?? First place I'm headin' is somewhere where there's alot of hot ladies wearin' dresses...lol

OK, getting down on the floor at a reception to look up skirts. I still have the heel mark in my cheek to remind me.

i suppose it also becomes a question of what constitutes interfering. in my own case i know for a fact i am irrevocably and by choice addicted to SL. i live here, in exactly the same sense as someone might say they live in some RL town somewhere. i wake up, and i am here at the pc clicking the login button before i even go wash my face or get my coffee. except when i fall asleep logged in and i am already here when i wake up. but i have no partners, careers, family, and unless thinsg progress to an RL relationship and living circumstances from my SL, i won't have. my RL is nothing but a life support system for my avatars.

I think Second Life is addictive partly because of the infinite possibilities and because there's always more to do, see, learn or wear! Although we're always told it's not a game, people make it their own game, whether it be making L$ or speed dating or whatever.

To make the most of SL, you need to put in a fair amount of background time, like finding the best places to go, or building your home or club. When you've invested a lot of your creativity in SL, then that ties you in.

I do sometimes border on addiction - strange really as I've never been 'addicted' to anything else. I think one sign of addiction is when you get that phase of SL fatigue - like nothing surprises you, you've seen so many amazing builds and all the events and venues merge into one another - and yet you find you still have to be logged in but you can't put your finger on why.

I think the only detrimental effect SL has had on me is that I've always been creative - but now all my creativity is in SL and I don't do anything creative in RL unless I have to. Still, maybe when spring and summer come along all that might change.

lol, only when I am so engrossed, I forget to pick my child up from the bus stop

Kylie you found time to procreate? )
Isn't this one an extension of day 1 internet concerns? ...the chatrooms, the groups, the cyber....the unrestricted porn sites...now facebook, youtube, twitter...virtual worlds?
What is real life and how dare it prevent my logging on...assuming I even logged off and not afk....

Many disadvantaged in rl can still live their dreams through virtual worlds and as with Avatar those without legs can walk again. Indeed the sadness behind the depression of those unable to find a real life Pandora is that SL could so have been it before copyright and trademarks got to work.

Do we close the laptop lid and break the addictive tie so we can settle down and watch tv? or go pubbing and clubbing everynight? or reach for the video games?

SL is the new stamp collecting, every generation has a passion and with the electronic age comes more incredible possibilities. If you have family members that don't share it or benefit from it (via 'merchants') then you must factor in time where you can all be together...get more laptops and sit down to a meal in your prefab!!

I wonder if we have virtual stamp collecting in SL yet. If not, there's a whole new marketing opportunity for someone!!!

Ob gripe: If you are not a 'player' in SL then there is not a problem, right?

Addiction in one form or other, even to other electronic communication methods, is hardly a new phenomena. You do not need the virtual reality twist to see the same issues. I knew a graduate student back in the 80s who failed out of a physics program because he got addicted to bitnet relay chat.

CSR Stamp rally. Creative Stamp Rally. Creator Stamp Rally. I forget what CSR stands for. Go to stores, get stamps, go to prize center, get gift.

See, stamp collecting, in SL. Been around a while, that CSR. And I just realized I missed the most recent version.

I have many friends and contemporaries who like myself have a full and busy life and are in their mid years. Married for decades, kids, career and see anything that can help escape those responsibilities if only for a short time as healthy. I don’t golf, fish, wander around the house with a hammer looking for things to nail. I seldom watch TV. We all need our “our time” and this is mine. My RL wife is in SL, I have two wonderful, bright and healthy kids who are in WoW and Facebook. We share activates together but still respect each others “our time”. We are the 21st century suburban Cleaver family.
I have also been an insomniac as long as I can remember, and sitting in front of a computer propelling my insomnia replaced sitting in front of a TV or reading. I don’t blame SL for any thing and in fact I find SL a blessing in many ways. It keeps me at home, it’s relatively inexpensive compared to green fees and bass boat payments. If I were to blame anything it would be the 286 pc I bought in 1992 that came with some fighter pilot shoot em up game that got me hooked on virtual escapism. Or mothers milk.

When you drive faster on the way to work so you can get there and login and fly around doing nothing all day.

So you work for the Government?