Virtual Spying?

Sometimes you want to socialize, and sometimes you want to be left alone to build or work on stuff. Just because you sometimes want privacy, doesn't mean you don't want friends. SL really needs an option where you and check or uncheck "Show online" when you log in.

I agree with this, I think it is just freaky there are items that allow people to know when you are inworld, etc when you don't want them to. Learn something new everyday..

Those online trackers have existed since before you could even "hide" and are available for sale (or even as freebies) in many places.

And yeah that means the person who knew you are online could have a spy gizmo tracking when you are online.

I knew one guy who had one on his Alt so he knew when his online GF logged on, so he could stop cheating on her and log on on his regular account and be the devoted type

I would only hope your friends can understand and respect a busy mode and take no offense.

See, that is why I use the "BUSY" thing, and my busy message is written in such a way as to tell whoever is calling that I REALLY don't want to be disturbed at the moment...if they still insist, I tell them politely that I am busy. If I ever feel the need to uncheck that little box, it means I better just take that person out of my list for good, because as we have proved here, there are numerous ways they can find out we're online, so why bother making them feel ignored? As I said, I'm pretty straightforward, and I absolutely hate "hiding", so for me it is better to just tell them "sorry, I'm busy now" than to have them find out I was online hiding from them. I absolutely can't believe that people here, no matter how busy, don't have the few seconds AND courtesy it takes to tell someone "I'm busy, we can talk later", and instead prefer to act like teenagers "hiding"
Then again, I will be 41 years old in a few days, so I don't feel the need to hide from people. If I'm busy, I'm busy.

If using ones ageis supposed to be prove your opinion is the more "Mature" way of dealing with the sitution.
You jus showed a definate Lack of maturity.
In my own opinion anyway.

Personaly I think Busy mode is a seriuosly flawed means of avoiding conversation when your busy.
Blocks chat and auto-denies anything sent to you.
To me hiding status is still flawed but, more convenient,
If you jus want to be alone for a bit, or jus not feelin like talkin to certain people, Hiding yur status allowes you to conduct yur business in the usual fashion, but with less concern from hearing people that, for whatever reason, you don`t feel like hearing from,
In RL
I have caller ID on my fone, I answer the ones I want or need to speak to, and jus call the rest back when I choose.
I don`t want to see a particular friend for some reason, but do another, I go to the ones House and Not the Others.
SL means of communication , is a bit diferent, so we have different means of scheduling(for lack of a better word atm) our time with the different freinds.

BTW, I know the first part is gonna set people off, but that kind off attitude I jus find irritating.
but I`m only 35, sonot sure of the maturity of my opnions in relation to others here

When someone calls your home in RL, they don't know if you are there or not. You may be home and choose not to answer the phone. That's not "hiding". Same thing here, in my opinion.. The question I always ask those who question someone for wanting a certain level of privacy as 'hiding" something is "Why do you care?" Pesonally, I don't uncheck friends, but if someone wants to, no problem. I don't even use Busy Mode. When an IM comes in, if I don't feel like answering, I don't.

This is one of those subjects that's been bandied about the forums now and again. People have varying reasons.

For me, I do not multi-task well. When I am planning a lesson or concentrating on a build or in class, even having to stop to say, "Hey I'm kind of busy right now...can I get back to you" can throw my concentration. And then there's always the people who don't seem to take that hint and say, "Ok, but can I ask you something real fast?" ARRRGGGGHHH!!!

I had my busy notice up once when I was errrmmmm "busy" and a friend of mine kept IMing me. Even though I wasn't answering, the continued "ding" of each one was a bit distracting. Did she leave it at that...oh no. This is someone I've known a long time on IRC and have spoken with on the phone over the years. Next thing I know I hear on my voice mail "Hey girl!!! Why aren't you answering my IMs?????" When I grabbed the phone and told her quite bluntly and graphically why I was trying to have private time, she was mortified.

Setting people not to see me online from time to time for me has nothing to do with not wanting to be friends with them anymore. Those types I simply remove.

We all have different ways of dealing with things and sometimes friends who are not as courteous to "busy" messages as they should be but all in all are still friends.

And I'm 41+ so not sure what the age point was

I wish I could do that...sincerely. I might give that a try for the next couple of weeks.

And I respect your opinion. I used the age thing as a joke, like saying "I'm old and grumpy, ad if I'm busy I'm busy", not as a proof of maturity. Maturity has seldom to do with age.

Anyway, you all make a good point. Fact is, I still feel that if someone calls my home, and I have caller ID and don't answer them, but I answer someone else, and that someone else later talks to them and tells them "oh yes I spoke with him at his phone a minute ago", that makes the person I did not talk to think something's wrong, or that I'm mad at them or something. I prefer to tell them I cannot talk or even tell them I don't want to talk at that moment, than have them think other things.
Then again, that is just me.

Peace

EDIT: unless I completely misunderstood the OP, and the rest of you, because he was talking about not showing for a specific person, and the rest of you seem to be talking about not showing for all, and that's why I say if the OP doesn't want a specific person to know, why is that person on the list? And the "busy" mode thing I said because some others here talked about being busy building or whatever and don't wanting to be disturbed.

If you keep the Home Phone analogy in your head, it's easy. And I've never had one friend complain about me ignoring them.

If SL enacted a useful offline stealth mode, honest to God I'd buy 2 more sims this week. Are you listening LL? You can quote me. What a dream it would be to have no hesitation to log in, go and work on my to-do list, then give myself an hour or so of productive building and creative time, and then "hang out the open sign" and take everyone's IMs all refreshed and happy and ready.

Busy mode is useless for this. People always try to pry into the motivations behind this and attempt to turn it into a moral issue, which I just find frustrating and perplexing. Something like this would obviously be opt-in. If you're morally opposed to taking the phone off the hook, then don't do it. But don't begrudge everyone else the priviledge just because you wouldn't use it. How does it possibly hurt you, and why do you care?

No kidding. I can't get anything done some nights. Other time it's like George C. Scott in Dr. Strangelove: "I told you never to call me here! Don't you know where I am?"

On the rare occasions I set busy, or tell a friend that I can't talk to them at the moment, I have no problem ignoring any further inquiries into why I am busy and cannot talk to them at the moment.

Once you come to accept the fact that your time belongs to you, to use as you wish, and that no one else has an entitlement to your time, then it becomes much easier to ignore busybodies.

When someone questions you as to why you are busy or unavailable at the moment, what they are doing is asserting an entitlement to your time, as if they have some sort of right to it, and you don't have the right to decide how to use your time.

Kinda sad that a supposed Virtual 3D world has less basic chat functionality than Yahoo Instant Messenger.

I've seen enough drama and upset caused in my near enough year in SL to know that sometimes you just want to keep the peace.

Let me put it another way: some people might keep those they were once friends with (in that internet way of friendship) on their friends list, and even have picks for them in their profile, even though they would rather not. And the sole reason they do that is to stop said once-friend from making their Second Life hell. Sometimes, when you're faced with someone you actually once liked but who has their batshit insane moments*, you just don't feel like dealing with the potential fallout (which can sometimes be extremely stressful and ruin your enjoyment of SL, and the avatar/s that the batshit insane one knows about) and so you keep them on your friends list, and keep a pick in your profile, just to keep them out of your hair.

Sounds a bit daft? Maybe, but I've seen firsthand how upsetting these things can be, and I wouldn't blame anyone in the least for doing that.

BTW, I'm not suggesting that the OP has gone batshit insane and their friend did that to ward off their stressful behaviour; I'm just answering Reyfer's point up there

* Not intended as an insult, a la the 'stupid' post on this forum. More, it's an attempt to sum up those people you once liked, but who - after a period of time - you realised you wanted to back away from, but then realised they could indeed make your Second Life very difficult and stressful.

And finally someone that clarifies things without personal attack or without asking why do I care. Thank you

Will that work for people whose groups you share but don't want to be seen by?

it -is- sl-related... and yes, it's political - but nothing relating to such topic would not be.

http://www.balloon-juice.com/?p=10612

QFT! Even on the ole "Grandaddy" IRC one can simply add one extra character to her name and voila! invisible.

I don't think anything keeps one person from seeing another in the group they both are a member of.

Agreed!

This is why I chuckle whenever I read about Second Life being cutting-edge technology.

Truly, there are some aspects of Second Life that are innovative.

But on so many fundamental basics of a virtual place, Second Life is 20 or more years behind the times.

Why should you have to explain that you want private time? Why does everyone need to know you are online for every moment you are online? SL produces a skewed expectation because the tools and features assume you want to be available and verifiably online by default. Once it even used to give your location by default too. This is totally unlike the real world or even the rest of the internet and I think it produces more problems than it will ever solve.