just ignore and let this one die

Loling and getting odd looks here...

*Looks at Rhonda's last post....believe me, I don't want to go, but I have stuff to do....I'll be back soon.

While freshly ranting over the government's ability to shut down the internet in times of emergency (don't get me started-oops too late) - I find this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FN8xPJyAkEE

run out of ductktape already? =o.o=

More like batteries

I'm going! I'm going!

/me holds hands up and flees!

Well said.

{giggle} can never have too many batteries =~.^=

Ok who else watches The Guild? I've been singing http://www.youtube.com/watchtheguild all morning long.

edit: {channels Stewart..."look what I can do!" flails around}

First off, my apologies to any blondes in the audience- if it makes you feel better, mentally substitute curly-haired brunette (me) - but these were too funny


Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?'? The other blonde turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????'

CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.? After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.?
She says, 'What's the story?'?
He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'
She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'

SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.?
She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!'

RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get to the other side?'
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side.'

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
'Impossible!' says the doctor. 'Show me.'?
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.?
The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you??
'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'?
'I thought so,' the doctor said, 'Your finger is broken.'

KNITTING

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'?
'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'

BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!'?
The American said, 'We were the first on the moon!'?
The Blonde said, 'So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!'? The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.
'You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!' said the Russian.?
To which the Blonde replied, 'We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!'

IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night... It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?' She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?'? 'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blonde. 'They're watch dogs'!

Hehe, those are funny Amar.

· More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.



· Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

· I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?



· Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.



· I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.



· The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.



· Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.



· There is a great need for sarcasm font.



· Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f*** was going on when I first saw it.



· I think everyone has a movie that they love so much; it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.


· I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.



· I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.


· Was learning cursive really necessary?



· Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".



· I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.



· My brother's Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads. Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired about the name. He explained, "Cuz we beat you, and you hate us." Classy, bro.



· Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".



· How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?



· I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!



· While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.



· MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.



· Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.



· I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.



· Bad decisions make good stories



· Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!



· Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?



· If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.



· Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from; this shouldn't be a problem....



· You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.



· Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.



· There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.



· I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.



· "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.



· I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren’t watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'



· While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China and USA . No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when Chinese athletes don’t win, they are executed.



· I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Darnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?



· I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.



· When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.



· Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...



· As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.



· Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.



· It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.



· I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.



· I think that if, years down the road when I’m trying to have a kid, I find out that I’m sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.



· Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.



· Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I’d bet my a$$ everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...



· My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?



· It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.



· I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.



· I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.



· The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimate d that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There’s nothing like being made to feel like a fat b@st@rd before dinner.

So are the letters T and F. A few months ago, before I logged off for the night, Daros emoted, "tucks you in gently", but his fingers were a bit sleepy.

Personally, I preferred his version

(Oops! That was #1 on the list, too )

Great list, Eli. I was nodding to more than a few of them.

Anyone looking for a job?

NATO has an open tender for someone to build them a virtual world. https://www.fbo.gov/index?&s=opportunity&mode=form&id=17d56df73ad428d0a9491e4a78863b5e&tab=core&tabmode=list

This has most of the relevant details (MS Word or Open Office) https://www.fbo.gov/utils/view?id=68c73ac7f125341ab5097bb2eaa26f6b

I'm probably on some terrorist watch list so I'm likely ineligible. It's kinda interesting to take a skim through what they are seeking.

Tidbits:

Background
Allied Command Transformation is investigating technologies that could be used to augment or replace existing technologies for education and training of NATO staff. One of the investigative streams is in virtual worlds. This statement of work seeks contractor support for building and maintaining a virtual world to carry out this investigation.

Scope
The work to be performed is a proof of concept related to the building of a virtual world to support two scenarios. The first scenario is to replicate a generic headquarters compound for a NATO operation eg the International Security Assistance Force or Kosovo operations. The replication will put particular emphasis on depicting a generic Joint Operating Centre where operations are planned. This replication is to be representative only and in no way is meant to identify the true nature of what the compound may look like. The second scenario will involve replicating the Headquarters Supreme Allied Command Transformation in Norfolk, USA. The bids will be evaluated in accordance with the criteria at Annex A.

eli- I finally got thru your list- god i am crying - either from laughing so much or from straining not to be heard!

This one though- I want inscribed on my tomb stone, "I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die." (But first they need to talk to you guys)

Nifty! Logging into SL from within SL using the new llMedia api:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TtHO4AtVSwc

details: http://nwn.blogs.com/nwn/2009/08/vpn-via-sl.html

I don't mind at all Kylie - about 21.5 years. We met exactly one year before our wedding. We were engaged 2 weeks after we met. So far it's all working out well.



That's your favorite holiday, isn't it? Arrr!

Huh? Wuh? Is that like Second Second Life? Like your avatar sits down in front of a computer and logs in to SL inside SL????

I guess I will go read the blog post since you tube is clocked at work...

OH how funny and definitely a cute goof-up.

Yeah, sort of like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OrAHBk4ZAeQ

I hate Thread titles like.. "I can't find..." WTH? A little more info please- /rant

Eli!!! omg, I am laughing so hard. Great stuff. Thanks.

" 'Do not machine wash or tumble dry' means I will never wash this ever." I feel the same way about that as when I see "Dry Clean Only."

Usually, that spells doom for that purchase.

Oh, I am sure Pep did a great job! (although... )

Can't wait to see and read all about your escapade.

um...wowser! *fans herself*

You are not alone.

*sighs*

Sure do miss those....