Played a a different gender?

Thing is, any thread that starts with "this other thread got closed... so let's continue it here" almost invariably gets closed. I really, really don't want to see this forum get shut down, too.

SL has a strong RPG element in it. I remember when I was 15 years old, my brother bought the basic set of D&D rules and dice. It said somewhere in there that, if a character isn't exactly the smartest person ever and the player controlling him does something that's not quite clever, it's perfectly alright, since he was just playing his/her character. Given that I don't really care to meet the people behind the avatars in RL (which would be nigh on impossible anyway, since many are very far away from where I live in RL), RL gender doesn't really matter that much to me. Lousy, uninspired, boring play on behalf of a play might annoy me and there are indeed tell-tale signs that will give away someone's true RL gender. But then again, I'm not bothered. If I don't like someone, I just move on (unless s/he's griefing or harassing me; in that case, I'll AR him/her).

I'm not sure if this point was discussed (i skimmed the last thread and this one)....


I think the major issue is about truth and integrity. Representation in SL allows anyone to be anything, and it is the fault of the beholder to assume anything. Anyone can be anything in SL, and what they are in RL is not an issue...
however, it all comes down to truth. When you develop a meaningful friendship and relationship it is based on honesty and truth. If you are not going to be honest about who you really are in RL, the relationship can only go to a certain point and plateau. Misrepresenting who you really are to someone you are developing a companionship with isn't the way to go. If you really what to BE your SL persona, but your RL is something different, then that's okay, but the friendships you build in SL should only stay in SL.

In real life I am very effeminate, hairy guy who once was very pretty woman many, many years ago but its not something I go up and tell every one I met. I am loner, tend to pursue creative pursuits not very interested in what others want sexually from me nor interested in anyone's sexual orientation nor care to know.
In real life I was physical alter to fit the society version of what a female should be in my youth and it has caused me host of personal issues.
In second life I do have virtual penis, though I have no interest in using it for cyber sex.
In real life my penis was disfigured and nonfunctional
I have lived non traditional lifestyles all my life but these days I tend to be loner and not interested in sex, romance or bdsm relationships. Not to say that I have no issue with creating erotic images, writing stories. I have been published in past as erotic leather dyke ficiton writer but not sure I would want to do this again in Second Life.
Second Life I am humanoid but not human persay.
I have no interest in being escort, cybering or anything with sex profression or bdsm.
In real life in my past as the pretty woman of my youth I was in sex profression.
I have no interest in doing so recreationally. I rather just create and have fun in other ways.

I posted this on the Thread about Race, But i think it has relevance here too, Sorry for repeating myself.



I only rarely use my Alt, and then Only when i want a Little time to Think, and be on my own, In Retrospect, I found i'm Much Happier just being Me.

Angel.

No.

I acknowledge that, yes.

On and off. I have 11 female and 11 male avatars. That may or may not give me away.

Transgendered, suppose, classifiably.

-MS

I've played as a woman.

Cyberred as one too.

Still won't touch a certain sac.

Coyote knows who my alt is, and great news! She getting married in 3 weeks.

To a french bisexual woman - but if they lied about their sex rl, I don't really care.

Technology marches on; Electronic, Medical, whatever. Lifestyles, attitudes etc change with it hollistically speaking. What was a few years ago a text only extension of the teleprinter has become a very immersible, confusing, graphical 'world'

Boundaries of many types have been breached and inasmuch that a 'technical' forum was set up to sort out physical hardware/software problems on the computers themselves, the increased immersibility needs to be guided, checked and explained.

I think the whole issue of sex here is as relevant as say, buying property.



Sorry but does everyone have to read all posts? I don't.

Because it's not a guy. If the avatar is female, you're cybering a female. It doesn't matter who's behind the keyboard Lewis. Think about it, if you get off on watching porn, does it matter that the director is male? The actress is female, and that's what counts. Same principle - the avatar is the actor, the person behind the keyboard is the director/scriptwriter. But specifically this guy is sexually insecure too. There are other things I won't go into. But my point, in summary, is that if you cyber, you're cybering the avatar not the RL person.

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I'm a guy. I really enjoy playing my female Alt. She's a Lesbian!




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Dzonatas has hit the nail on the head here, and this is the point I have been trying to get across in all my posts. In SL, like it or not, we are playing characters. Cybering is not sex, it is more like writing porn together. Personally, on the few occassions when I have cybered as either gender I write in the third person (i.e. it is my avatar doing whatever they're doing) and never ever ever describe RL.

Personally I don't get off on cyber, but I feel that it is unfair not to let Conan and my now dead alt have a treat now and then too. Avatar's need love too remember. Someone mentionned earlier having two alts with different personalities. This is what i'm getting at - avatars are not us, we are not avatars. Not only can we do stuff we can't in RL, we can BE things we aren't in Rl, and it's not pretend, we actually are what we play out. My alt is female, not male, she has a very female sense of humour and loves to shop (stereotypical I know, but some stereotypes are true), I hate shopping in RL - it's the dullest most depressing thing I can think of to spend my time doint.

I had some questions to ask. "Resident Answers" seemed the most appropriate place. This forum is for asking questions and getting them answered. That's what we've done.

So basically Dr, you're saying we shouldn't use this forum incase it gets shut down and then we can't use it? That seems like flawed logic to me.

Okay, I take your point, but we all lie in SL. My male avatar is nearly 7ft tall. Far taller than me in RL. No disrespect to my RL girlfriend, but I've told her that her avie is way hotter than her in RL (which she accepted and we laughed about it). Aren;t those lies too?

Lets look at it another way. Most guys would not have cybered with my avie if they knew she was a he behind the scenes. However, most guys would not cyber with most female avies if they knew what they really looked like too - no disrespect, but the real world is just not full of as many hot women as Sl is. So isn't an RL woman playing an SL woman but making her hotter than her RL self telling a lie of equal magnitude?

For the record, here is Torley Linden's note explaining the reason for closing the previous thread

"Last edited by Torley Linden : 11-07-2006 at 08:07 PM. Reason: Thread closed -- while there's some good conversation here, there's an amount of trolling in it which isn't earnest and appropriate. Please see: http://forums.secondlife.com/showthread.php?t=138314"

To me, that says that Linden did not object to the topic itself, but to the said trolling. The aim here is to keep our conversation "earnest and appropriate" as Torley put it. That mean, stick to the questions I asked and discuss your answers. If anything Dr Tardis, it is you who risks losing the forum, as it is your posts that are off-topic. Torley does not say that the thread itself was the problem.

I agree with this, but I am also aware that there are numerous people who do not play their Avatar as a separate entity from themselves, but rather as an alter ego or extension of themselves in SL. It's typically the latter person who does not relate to cross-gender roleplaying because they aren't roleplaying (cross-gender or otherwise) themselves much. That's why I see it as a roleplaying vs. non-roleplaying issue more than anything else.

First, it's taboo, to rekindle a closed thread (as in, against the forum guidelines).

Despite having done research in this area, I wrote a paper a number of years back on cyber-sex addiction for a college English class (I got an A on the paper), this thread must die.

The SL forums do not have an off-topic/general forum anymore. The SL forums are transitioning from a social forum to a support forum. The are a few third party SL forums that have embraced the roll of being a social forum for SL. Seeing that a social forum is redundant, the SL forum doesn't need to be one anymore. The biggest issue with a social forum is that it is very difficult for it to maintain civility. The SL forums are governed by the rules of SL and these rules require civility. On the one hand people want to speak their minds; on the other, the rules that govern the SL, and make SL a bearable place to live & work. The best solution for this conflict is to not have the SL forums under the rules of SL; which can only happen on third party forums. It saddens me that we can't have an official social forum, maybe things in the future will change. Until then please take this thread elsewhere.