Hmm...I will ask a (probably) mostly NON-Black audience...

...for suggestions based on YOUR personality & how you deal w/ annoyances.

The better my English gets (due to spending more than 1/3 of my life typing in SL for about the last 8 months)...the more I have folks say to me: "Are you really Black in RL?" then while I'm typin the answer, OR (say on TeamSpeak) after I have answered, they say "I think you're just another White guy pretending to be Black"...not always so "polite", but close enough.

Anyway, this question is about as annoying for me as when I was a kid and every time I told somebody my RL name is Calvin (don't care, so don't tell me not ta state my name), they would ALWAYS go into the whole bit about "Calvin And Hobbes"...it's a famous comic strip for those who dont know, funny at first...got old...then got REAAAL old if you know what I mean.

Now a funny thing about me is I noticed, even before it seemed like anybody else did, that my RL *vocal* communication has even become more "proper" (well for an American, heh).

I had started seein this as a GOOD thing, cause when I started SL I could hardly communicate w/ out more profanity in 2 sentences than they use in the Gangsta Rap I listen to (yeah...mohawks, motorcycles, gangsta rap, hip hop clothes and spiked leather in my RL closet...just...just don't bother tryna figure me out, LOL)

BUT...now, I notice that I'm increasingly annoyed by this question, for the simple fact that there ARE so many folks who just have a black or SUPER dark tanned av (got an old pic of me & the leader of HellFire MC @ Slurgis...he looks just as Black as *my* av)...and because of fightin MUCH ignorance from MY community AND everybody else, cause I got on a "Black Rock kick"...

For some reason one day I realized how closed-minded it is where I come from...maybe cause I have lived in so many States, in ghettos, homeless shelters even on trailer parks...one of which burned a cross on our "lawn" (if you could call it a lawn...this was San Antonio, Texas during a drought, heh) and throwin bricks through our windows.

Folks where I'm from can talk & cuss for consecutive HOURS straight about "rednecks", "dirty mexicans", and "drunk Irish"...ANY other race...but the "rednecks" I was around the most in my life, well guess what color our necks was? That's right. Dark brown. "African Americans"/Black people/niggas whatever.

I decided I wanted to make some kinda examples in my actions to prove my race could do things besides what other Black folks say we can do (the biggest problem in our communities & why folks think we just *can't* think, half the time). So I did a few nice lil Projects including startin Chicago's only Black Street Punk band...Volunteer activist work ta help kids get away from JUST doin what we was used to after school...we kept em busy...my bands always got (novelty) recognition even as sloppy as we were, etc...cause all of this is so uncommon in this Country, anyway I'm ramblin like Popeye.

So, tough question for some I know...and of course you can't "turn Black" and have my perspective, *then* answer...but what would say in response? I tried ignoring the question & the people calling me a liar after I answered truthfully...but, guess it didn't work.

If I go back to talkin & typing like how I do w/ a friend who I ain't seen in years (Ebonics almost undecipherable outside Chicago)...it'll just look ignorant & I'll get ignored half the time...folks who don't speak English as thier 1st language (and even some Brits) will think I'm insulting them almost all the time, & everybody seems so damn sensitive in-world due to the lack of actual body language, and our cross-over language barriers...that I might get reported over & over just for tryna talk & having short arguments like I did when I joined.

Think I should just go ahead & "roll the dice"? I don't wanna come off like the REAL "fake Black people" in SL who speak Ebonics that don't even *exist*, or just come from thier regular Sims to claim "Bloods" or whatever & grief then get owned. I'm proud to be Black & open-minded AND tryna improve myself...but I hate bein called a liar to an irrational degree. I only ask (I should write BOOKs not Threads o.O) because I don't wanna sever ties w/ these folks EVERY time this happens. I'm usually workin on a project with 'em.

So hit me w/ your suggestions...don't "over-think" your responses, just go from your life experiences.

Q: "Are you black in RL?"

A: "What difference would it make?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you'"

"Sorry, I don't give out any personal information'"

"About as black as the tears of the sphinx (or some other poetic-sounding nonsense)."

A: "nope - I'm plaid."

This is similar to how I answer the "where are you from?" question 27 times a day:
A: "here, mostly"

I don't know why people should care. Do people ask every girl they run into "Are you really a girl in RL?"

No, some of them aren't, but it's becoming generally socially acceptible as far as SL goes to be a male playing a female. So who the hell cares what you are in RL?

Being goth/vamp/military/skater/punk/gangsta.. It's all like taking a role in Second Life. I say shoot them. That's my advice. *nods*

I can't wait till it's socially acceptable to own up to being a cat. until then, I'm staying in the closet.

Statement: I don't believe you are really black in rl.

Answer: I do believe you are really as big an a**hole in rl as you are in sl. In fact, I'd bet on it.

You might check out this article for a start:

http://secondlife.blogs.com/nwn/2006/02/the_skin_youre_.html

I think it illustrates that there's a bit of latent--and overt--racism out there that people may not even realize.

I think, frankly, the big problem is that people still see Black people as some weird monolithic mass of people instead of, well, individuals with their own personalities. It's entirely possible that some Black people might see White people the same way--I got a vague impression of that during my years of working in downtown Atlanta, when certain Black people would seem to expect me to react in a certain way just because I was a White chick.

I don't believe in races, myself. I believe in ancestry, culture and physical differences, but the only 'race' I really subscribe to is 'human'. I'm only capitalizing Black and White for clarity--I see them as different cultures, but the same 'race' in the truest sense.

I could safely bet that a lot of the people who are accusing you of not really being Black have very few personal interactions with Actual Real Live Black People. Therefore, their impressions of what it means to be Black are formed by the media, by MTV and the local newscasts. And maybe by the guys who pick up their trash. When somebody steps outside of that box, they can't quite comprehend it.

Don't sweat it. It's not really your problem that they're narrow-minded ignoramuses. Just be who you are.

I usually say "Livigno" (where my land is.)

Xio,

If I were you, I'd stick with sounding intelligent and writing legibly. God knows there's enough stupidity without trying to prove it with typos. Who really cares what other people think? Do what YOU feel is best... if you're proud of your improvement with the English language, then why not show it off?

I make clothes from around the world and routinely get asked "Are you Hindu? Are you black? Are you native American?" etc etc so I've taken to wearing a silver skin a lot of the time and I say "I'm just me." It's sort of irritating, yes, but it deflects a lot of stupid questions.

Just be YOU; who CARES if you're black, white, a cat, a dragon, a vampire, or a dern triangle? The fact is that you're a smart guy who pulled himself up by his bootstraps and can speak and type the English language with clarity. Isn't that all that's really important?

Heh, people don't believe you because so many people aren't what they say they are. I'm white, male, tall, and dress a little like a hick in real life. In second life I'm short, East Indian, female, and dress california beach casual.

On top of that, like you said, most people using SL haven't actually ever seen where you're from, or heard people talk that way in the real world, and it does sound kinda funny to us (sorry, it does).

If you're willing to provide you're real name, might as well put a picture in your profile of yourself. some people probably won't believe it's you but you could hold up a sign or something, maybe put SL in the background on a computer monitor.

I answered in the same fashion and the person stopped talking with me without any other reaction. Was actually confused by the response (if the person didn't just crash, and I could see them walking around, so they hadn't crashed). They asked where I am from, and I told them the literal truth - where I am from in SL.

Do your thing, man. Don't be "black" be "Xio"...or whoever you actually are.

Anyone in SL that would bother to comment on such a thing without any RL knowledge about you really just feels so pathetic that they have to try to bring others down with them.

Also, I think a lot of people are going with the preconception that most black people either can't afford a computer or are into more "urban" things like rapping and dancing or whatever. They're just ignorant.

Personal Style is an option.

Social Culture is a bond.

Skintone is just a distraction.

Annoying and impolite questions that can't be answered in a way that the questioner can hear- no fun. You're forced to give up being understood, but at the same time have to answer. I think the first thing is to give an inward sigh and realize the imperfection of the situation- you can't reach some people. It's hard to accept a degree of invisibility, ouch.

Then, I agree with DragonLady, some answer short and defusing that sort of changes the subject would be a good approach. Or a flat-out statement that you don't consider this a very interesting question or subject. Dunno if that will always work.

-Fo

The only RL thing I tell people is which country I came to SL from (UK). I didn't come to SL to tell people about my RL, there are loads of other sites for that!
Anyway, people who do talk all about their RL might not be telling the truth!

honestly, after reading your post.. i came away less with "color issues" and found myself just appreciating your style of writing/humor. not to mention you seem to have your head squarely upon your shoulders.

for someone like you (intelligent, good-humored human), i would imagine that this is more of a non-issue than an issue. "dealing with annoyances" about skin color or typing style is about as important as if that furrie is actually some anthro or not on the other side of the screen.

just keep doing your thing... and let us know if we can find your music somewhere!

Yep, I got accused of ripping my RL pic out of a magazine, and it ain't that good. It was an old picture from about 20 years ago, but the point of it was it was my model for the creation of my avatar's look. I put a recent picture in my picks to help correlate, don't know if it helps but my friends get a kick out of it. :^) I'm the same person in or out of SL.

To the OP, don't expend energy trying to convince someone who chooses to remain ignorant, as it will be a dead end. If you have to deal with such a person then only give them the part of you that is required to seal the deal. There will be those people who will be enriched by who you are and what you share of yourself in SL, concentrate on those people.

You're only 2 years old? And you can type as well as speak?! Well you sure speak well for a two year old, yes you do! Yes you do! Ohh what a cutie! Yes you are a cutie, Cutie wootie boobooboo. Typing all those big words! Sooo smart .. wittoo smartiekins ooooooo gonna grab your nose, yes I am, gonna grab your nose .... /trails off into baby sound gibberish

I get that question, and reply the same way as the previous poster, "I am from SL". And i have had people express some sort of disgust. I came to SL from irc, where you get a lot of "A/S/L?" questions... which i used to ignore.

If I get to know someone I will happily reveal, if its relevant, that i am from the South of England, that i am DEFINITELY female, and i am practically 100 percent hetero. If they asked if i was black or white i would probably close the conversation right there. Why the hell should they want to know that? Online life in any medium is about the meeting of minds. If they ask my age i have a stock answer. "Past puberty, pre menopause and legal in every country you could name". Thats all they get

I have to say, men ask these sort of questions a lot more than women. For some reason its more important for them to have a real image, just the same as more men try to make their avatars look like themselves. I worked it out not long ago, that men dress to please themselves, and women dress to please men (i am generalising, before ten people pounce on me and shout "I dont!!!".

/me shrugs

let them do what they want..I dress to look like i want to look... I am very white anglo saxon in RL. So is my Avatar... I am comfortable in my real life skin, and dont need to change the colour here.

I dont know how it feels to be black in SL. But i think it would be wrong of me to pretend to be black. I cant think of a reason i would want to.... Now i am rambling...

Once again, when ya need advice...go *straight* to Resident Answers, like I tell all the new members

(I miss BBCode so much)

Yep..I have even thought about taking that pic alright, now for at least...5 months I have had a few RL pics of me in my profile...right now I have fun w/ my av wearin a hockey mask most of the time...so I put up a pic of me wearin one from 2 years ago...before none of the RL pics in my Profile covered my face. I might do the pic in fronta the monitor thing...if so, I'll make sure to have my av in a Camera CLOSEUP in the background...LOL! Too bad I threw out myRL party Jester hat, lol

I like that idea too, cause when it comes to somethin like a HUGE pet-peeve of mine (calling me a liar)...well...everybody in the Forums probably knows I'm bipolar psychotic by now...nuff said. Is it unusual ta want ice cream and pickles after you have a fit of blind rage? n/m

Once again, thanks for all the answers...I ain't used to being "stuck for words" or even letting folks "get to me" AT ALL, in SL...I have decided to either resolve it with a single (similar to many posted above) statement, change my profile pic or end the conversation right then and there as suggested.

This Thread is retarded

It only exists cause folks are "retarded".

If everybody had common sense, the issue would never even "pop up"

For serious stuff, try googling Thomas Sowell, one of whose books is about the strange (to some) link between American blacks and rednecks. Sowell is an American black (country of origin makes more of a difference among blacks than race!) who came up the hard way from the ghetto to become a serious scholar and syndicated columnist based at Stanford, and is NOT politically correct. I think you'll like him.

As for your SL predicament, I agree with many of the other posters: It is nobody else's damn business who or what you are in RL beyond what you choose to tell them (and I would advise not telling them a damn thing, personally).

If you even know what a "whigga" is, you are more than current enough in what passes for US pop culture - sure as hell a lot more current than "Ebonics," which is sooo 1970s-era phony PC it makes me want to go find a polyester-knit leisure suit somewhere and burn it.

It ain't the color, and it ain't the nationality. It's the values, and the character. On that score, You good, Man, don't go messin' no mor' wif yo'self.

LOL...if you find onna those suits can you put the video on YouTube??? I would add that to Favorites, heh

Thanks for the info about Thomas Sowell...sounds like I should have run into his writing in the past, but better late than never

Hey, Xio!!

Interesting and thought provoking post raising an issue I never thought about, being Anglo. I agree with most of the other posters..the only race that really matters is "human" and we're all members of that one. For myself, if you say you ar eblcak, latino, asian, native american, east indian, a furry, a robot or whatever in SL..to me that's what you are in SL and I don't even care what people are in RL as long as they ar enice, ethical and honorable.

I wouldn't spend a lot of time worrying about people think about you.