Silly one.....or not.......Why are ballrooms generally unsociable?

Although i have wonderful times in ballrooms and love them to bits ...... i wonder why it is that they seem to be the least sociable of all supposedly social venues? It seems even saying hello is too much like hard work? Sheeeees only trying to be friendly!

problem is that people can only keep track of so many friends at a time, at such an event they have probably been invited or invited some of their friends and are busy.

It might be a distance problem...

1) The dance sets are spaced more than 20-meters apart. It's beyond chat range. They can't hear you

2) They're trying to get close, probably in IMs with the person they're dancing with, and they're not interested in... err... getting close to you. Admittedly, it's rude of them, that while dancing away at the romantic ballroom and trying to make out with their sweet sweet honeybunch that they don't extract their tongue from the other person's mouth and unlock their lips to give everyone wandering by a hearty "Hello."

The various ballroom, tango, salsa Groups do ballroom in a social way! Of course, they hold their events at certain specific times, more like a party than a spontaneous evening out.

They're fun, and give you a reason to buy/make/find even more beautiful outfits than you already have (if you're anything like me)!

When I go to ballrooms I'm usually IMming with my dance partner. I'll respond if addressed directly in chat, but otherwise I'm focused on the person I went there with.

I've managed to be a part of nice relaxed chats in dancing places in very few occasions with almost all people present participating in a positive way - all of them strangers. one of them it was sort of a new place with motivated hosts and the others i just had gotten back from the japanese kinda drunk.

but i have a problem with crowds. it always seems to me that there is only one purpose for social events - showing off something. it's cool if you go somewhere with a group or a partner, but if you're alone try smoking something funny first.

You ever go to a RL ballroom where everyone was shouting across the room to each other socialising? People go to a ballroom to dance and chat with their partner. For more general socialising they go to the bar. Same in SL I guess.

Perhaps you haven't been to the right places. I've found both the Paradise Ballroom and the Tuxedo Ballroom to be friendly places, with plenty of people willing to just chat.

Thanks for the tips, we'll try those! And also thanks for those people who have IMed me with ideas

I disagree the implication above that it's rude to give your dance partner your undivided attention when dancing. On the contrary, I think it's rude to expect to interact with members of a dancing couple. (Not rude to try, just to expect to be attended to.)

Sure, a passing comment, like "lovely dress" is apropos. But don't expect the couple to want to engage in a conversation.

When people aren't dancing, taking a break and sitting at tables or benches surrounding the dance floor, things are different, IMHO, and a more sociable stance is appropriate.

/me giggles : just for the record ... i think you may have read more into my question than was intended. i for one would not dream of calling anyone rude and certainly never expect to be 'attended to'

i simply wondered why a simple greeting seemed a lot to ask... that question was answered in various ways by various people and i appreciated those answers as well as the many tips for lovely places to go.

/me goes back to dancing

This is neither here nor there, but I was prepared to come here with a laundry list of reasons why.. and then I re read the title, and it does NOT ask why bathrooms are generally unsociable.

As you were.

LOL, Zaphod.

Sally, that comment wasn't directed at you. It was Elex who said '... it's rude of them, that while dancing away at the romantic ballroom and trying to make out with their sweet sweet honeybunch that they don't extract their tongue from the other person's mouth and unlock their lips to give everyone wandering by a hearty "Hello."'

Learjeff, I hear you! I don't go to them anymore at all. I used to work for one, and well the people weren't friendly, even though I tried to chat with them, the owners were the only friendly ones, thankfully they paid a decent wage cause the tips were the pits. That is why i will never work in a ballroom again, and why I don't go there as a customer either. Is it too much to say hello to someone and at least be cordial?

I have seen many ballrooms start up, only to fail almost as quickly. I think a little decency and manners should be required in any of those places, or anywhere in SL for that matter!

Just my .02L

I've only gone to ballrooms when I feel like listening to the music they offer there, but I suspect some of the above posters have got the dynamic right: I think most couples are there to be with their sweetie in a romantic atmosphere and they really do not want to be interrupted by random strangers, however friendly. Three is definitely a crowd in that situation.

Hi Sally!!

I agree wholeheartedly with StormCrow's post on The Paradise Ballroom. (Haven't been to Tuxedo so can't comment there.) I also love to dance and found it by accident while trying to find a vintage costume for a dance I was going to elsewhere. (There is a vintage dress clothing store across the street.) It is an extremely friendly, social environment, based on the 1940's jazz era, but each night has a different theme (Salsa, Rat Pack, Torch Songs, etc.)

The managers, barmen and cigar girls greet each new arrival to make sure they feel welcomed. It is my second home and like Cheers "Where Everyone Knows Your Name."

I gotta agree with Stromcrow and Czari here - I am a Paradise ballroom regular too. I love the Latin nights on Sundays

/taking notes................
thanks!

I never go to ball rooms....mostly because I can't stand the big poofy dresses and I'm not interested in partnering so a ballroom seems pointless. But....I can certainly relate to the idea that some places are just not as social as others. I bounce around a lot in SL.... I find the friendliest places change with the crowd. I love the Blues clubs, but over all it's really all about the individuals. Most of the time in a crowd...it seems too clique' and if you're not one of the 'in' peeps....forget it. I'm a loner, so it doesn't bother me.
Also....try going to live shows....I am always meeting cool people at live shows because more peeps tend to go solo and then mingle at the event.

Hi Milla,
hihih..... i don't and wouldn't go to ballrooms to partner..... i go there with my partner ))
Totally agree that the best, even my favourite, places can change with / depend on the crowd. Do find that my fave place ever is almost always a friendly place... yes it has its regulars, but they're generally very welcoming to newcomers. Totally with you on the 'in crowd' clique kinda hang outs and can find it reallly off-putting if i arrive in what is obviously an in-crowd kinda place. Oh and i totally agree with live shows, i'm a live music fan and have been enjoying plenty of cool performances in the pleasant company of strangers
/makes note of Blues club, ty!

ballroom dances are TRULY unfriendly places. i got ejected from one just last week when while standing off in a corner , watching this crazy lookin zaphod beeblebronx look-a-like (wondering how he got the way he was) when some silly chick asked me why i was even there, did i come to stand around or to dance. i told her i didnt some to dance with a simple trick like her!

next thing ya know...flying! That was the fastest i got ejected all week, except when I asked a couple of gorean chicks why they were slidin all around on the floor!

but never mind that. i got my revenge on the lil nosy pg trick! I slide right inside the lil hooker's mind. IMed her , took her on a shoppn spree. Got her a 4g skin, some rags and hooker-dance motions and got her up in a pal's club...shakin that lil pg a$$ for lindens...

full deets to follow! in the next ish!

I don't mean to be rude, but a place that rejected Jumpman sounds like a place to go!!!!
Where was it and could I eject you too if you turn up?

Listen for a minute..let me tell ya bout LANE...I'm blessed with the gift! Got lindens fallin out the sky...money talks bullshit runs a marathon! I do what I wanna do...have any hooker in the MFSL doin whatever I dream up...anything. So ya betta hide ya hoes, ya wives , ya girlfriends, ya pets, ya slaves whatever ya call em... before she end up one of my lovelies! And I put the J.L. brand on her a$$! oh to stay topical..all pg sims suck cause the people there are lil goody two shoes, and chickens scared somebody will expose their weakness to the world why they unfriendly...and ur sre suppposed to talk sh@t to em...they are weak!

That was priceless, Chas!!!

*Still using my translator to even figure out what Jumpman said*

So you won't tell us where it was then? Oh, go on!