Leaked From An Email At Linden Lab!

Phil:

Since we last addressed the issue, the number of users has tripled, causing a huge network latency (lag) problem.

The attached spreadsheet shows that if we do nothing about it, in six months:
-- 95% of the users will be inconvienenced
-- 60% will be pissed off
-- 35% will be red-faced enraged
-- 5% will drop the service

Analysis:
So what? 95% still pay.

Fixing the latency problem will cost us more than loosing 5% of our customers... money which COULD be going into our bonuses!

As long as we have their US$ (not Linden$, haha!), we don't give a rat's ass about anything else until we can either:
1) sell this bitch, take the money and run, or 2) go public and dump the stock.

I recommend we do nothing. Not only is it easier, but it has the added benefit of making that 5% who are hell raisers go away, like those troublemakers who leave mesages in that online forum we never should have started.

Recommendation:
Let's ignore network latency, get in our Lexuses, drive to the secretary's birthday luncheon and drank like a M.F. until it's time to go home.

-- Dave

Ah, nothing like a nicely writen satire ruined by getting too attached to the satire to keep it seeming factual. I doubt anyone that works at LL, with the exception of possible Philip, drives a Lexus LL isnt rolling in cash, neither are the developers. If they were, they could just throw more and more programmers at SL's problems to fix bugs and improve it more quickly.

Course, I'm sure someone will come back with a snappy comeback like the problems aren't getting fixed, but anyways.

But really, very nice try.

P2

I thought you were leaving...

offers hax a dictionary :|

If you're gonna post a complete and utter fabrication at least try to make it look plausible. That doesn't even begin to convince me.

Well, there's something about SL which made me sit looking at my computer out of the sides of my eyes and think, even when it was switched off.

I swapped video cards with my work PC, and came back in.

Using the nvidia Geforce card solved most all the problems I was complaining about. Overclocking the card and urning off the in-world trees really reduced draw lag.

See you inside.

==[ The Haxx

*laughs at the mispelling of his OWN name*

How'd you get a copy of that! Small virtual world. I was in the LL dive when Phil was reading that memo! The sounds that came outta that office went from pure exasperation to relief. So, hard to tell if he agreed with any of that stuff or not.


The high point was sayin' Hi to Robin though. She was under Phil's desk doing some filing.


Glad 2 c ur still among us!

what are you smokin' Hax? anyways, whatever it is, it ain't good

Guess Hax heard some of those silly rumours... usually they go like "my niece is the babysitter of a person who works for someone whose therapist is a remote relative of an intern working at a consulting firm, and that intern has overheard a few things about them being hired by LL, to..." and so on.

Heard lots of rumours like that within the Ultima Online, Everquest and StarWars Galaxies communities. End-of-the-onlineworld prophets predict every 2 months that the servers are soon to be shut down. But all of the abovementioned MMORPGs still exist.

Damn, boy, ur a gamer! Sure your paycheck doesn't have that green hand on it?


Why would anyone be concerned of any connection, however vague, to such a dink company? Uh. Except you, Ish.

Not sure what you're trying to tell me with that... may be my insufficient english, your spelling or your conspiracy theory is just way too complex for me.

Well, despite all your efforts to insult me (and without going down to that level and starting with "Damn, girl, you're a great plywood artist", calling you Jeffie or making fun of ur spellin'), I can tell you where I ran into that big bad conspiracy theory which has found so many true believers.

You know, the theory featuring the fictitious consulting firm (that everyone who tells the tale seems to be working for), the urgent need for investors / buyers and the assumed bankruptcy of LL within the next two weeks. Someone told me that it was shops like mine who ruin Linden Labs, by selling all the smut (i.e. adult toys) that keeps the potential investors away. This urban SL myth is usually backuped by the statement of a nameless Linden, who confidentially told the teller or his friend or a friend of a friend that this is indeed true, the times are bleak and the end is near.

People love stories about the end of the world, that's why the bible is still so popular. Life would be boring without a little looming demise.

Calm down. Breathe deeply. Many people probably get a huge kick out of you and your smut. We all have our special talents. And you are the best at smut!

Sorry, but I'd try to pay you to move out of the neighborhood if I was trying to set up a rl business presence (like Cisco) and you squatted in the lot next to mine. Just a matter of business sense, I suppose.

Nothing personal. Nothing wrong at all with what ya do or like, pal.

Uh, was that the question again

I trust both LL and any future RL business in SL to know why at least half the residents are here (I'd rather say why 90% of them are here). We've seen the same evolution with the internet itself: in the beginning there was porn, then there was commercial business; today there's a lot of business and still lots of porn (more than ever). I doubt the new Cyberspace with worlds like SL as its prototype will evolve in a completely different way.

But then, that's just what common sense tells me. I know conspiracy theories and the belief in the dreaded big cleansing are more attractive. People like theories about "them", because it clearly defines the "we". They only want our money, they will surely screw us someday, they're the enemy - and everyone who's not utterly against them must be on their side, probably even paid by them.
And instead of ever trusting them a little we rather side with someone whose signatur reads "the Haxx" (haxxor = hacker, in leet kid language) and whose forum title states "in your system, in your face".

we should've just all replied:

"Hax, please talk to the hand!"

this idiot tried to pull a "why I'm leaving SL" thread ... needs desperatly for someone to give a crap...

Evidently you do. You bumped 2 of his threads........

ran accross it on a search for lifting hovertext and was amazed the cry baby posted