D/S looking for D

Hello,
I reluctantly got this game, but after spending just awhile in the game I was amazed at everything you could do. I've always been interested in the D/s theme and have seen stuff around in the game. Could anyone point me in a direction to learn more and hopefully accepted?

Errmm.
Well. I'm something of a Dom. But more in the "knows best, usually ends up taking control" sense.

Depends on how much of a sub you are.

I dont know a lot of doms but I can lead you to a few dumbs I have met here.

Maybe you can check out the employment opportunities/ help wanted forum? Well its not really a job....what about services? Are dumbs, errr doms serviced.. maybe I dunno, guess I am too dumb.

I never hear about subs asking for Doms... maybe it's just how it is? Seems frustrating though...

If you advertise I guess you're not a very good sub.

Dang... I really want a sandwich now...

ACK! More sex addicts!

Definitely a candidate for, as panda called it, the Notice(me)s and Well Wishes forums.

Post your pics on RateMyAv.com, say your a sub looking for dom (i f the damn profiles engine works... grrrr) and I'm sure you'll start getting IMs

One of the best resources on D/s in game is Perilous Pleasures, located now on the Isle of Bliss. Friendly folk, an extensive library, and excellent events. Check them out...

There's always Glorious Ar et. al., if you're into Gor.

There are regular subs retreat meetings in s/l where you can learn about the lifestyle in safety, and ask whatever questions you wish. I would absolutely advise doing research before entering into any D/s relationship or joining any groups.

IM me in game and I can send more information to you.

If a Dom told a sub not to be a sub, what would happen? Would the sub defy the order to continue to be submissive, or would the sub obey, thereby breaking all subsequent orders?

I think the same thing would happen as if Jesus microwaved a burrito so hot even he couldn't eat it. The universe would explode.

Valkyrie,

Try Perilous Pleasures - you can find it on the Places list. There is a library that will be useful. Also for general information on BDSM, castlerealm.com is a good place to start.

The advice you were given not to rush into anything was very good, and you should take notice of it.

When a dom takes a sub, it is just like an inworld marriage, and I am amazed at how many people do it almost instantly, and then reap the harvest of misery that comes later.

Find out about the lifestyle and how it works inworld before you even think about finding a Dom.

Theres other places for that also. Just gotta look around.

.

Being a sub doesn't mean you obey willy-nilly.
I think the logic loop you describe might conflict a master/slave relationship more.

But if you are talking about someone's inner nature, I don't think just 'telling' them to stop will stop someone from doing something.
For instance.. people ask the trolls stop being trolls but since it's in their nature they still troll.

For those who dont quite know what D/s is, let me make this one observation very clear:

D/s does not equate to sex!

Yes, many people do get into D/s for the sexual aspect of it, but that is not the only aspect of D/s. There is definitely a non-sexual aspect to D/s, and it's important to note its existence. To always assume that one who is into D/s is a sex addict not only flat out wrong, it's also offensive to those who are into it for the non-sexual aspects.

Knowledge is power. Think before speaking.


- Newfie

This Thread seems like it would work better in a personals section than on general.

Maybe even on some thrid party fan site.

Basically a Sub looking for a Dom/Domme is the D/S equivilent of a
"SWF seeks man for friendship , possibly more" sort of post - and I dunno seems odd to have in the general forum.

As far as finiding a D/S relationship? Should be fairly easy, thers many people involved in D/S in the game. Simply meet people in a social type setting and state thats what you looking for.

Some D/S frequented night clubs -
Dark Secrets
Klub Kink

Barbie Fauna also has a garden for submisives to go to and talk also in Rydel (sp?)

Umm just because someone is in D/s doesn't mean they are 'sex addicts' as you seem to think. I have been a sub for months here and am a proud SL Virgin. There are all sorts of so called 'sex addicts' in SL, but to make a generalization on an entire group is not cool.

Maybe you should learn about things before you make assumptions.

*applauds*


Some people just don't understand and assume things without knowing all the info.

To tack onto Newfie's cogent remarks here, I'll add that sex addiction is a widespread problem that has nothing to do with D/s. Some D/s practitioners may be sex addicts, but then you are probably working with sex addicts in RL and don't know it, either. A shocking percentage of Americans are probably sexually compulsive.

Sex addiction is not romantic or sexy. It is destructive, compulsive behavior that can spiral into job loss, divorce, arrest and even suicide in a pattern very similar to gambling, shopping or spending and other non-substance compulsions.

I've noticed too, that the nature of SL opens many doors for sex addicts due to its anonymity and the enabling of alt-games. It's not that SL creates these addicts -- rather, it attracts that personality type and feeds their compulsion. The result is no less emotionally damaging than real world behaviors stemming from the behavior. It's nothing to joke about, for either the addict or their victims.

Now that im thinking of it -

I dont think there is a personals section of the forums?

I mean It kinda strikes me as this -

Some catagories. (not all i imagine)

M seeking F

F seeking M

F seeking F

M seeking M

Dom seeking F Sub

Dom Seeking M Sub

Domme seeking F sub

Domme seeking M sub

F seeking poly situation/s

M seeking poly situation/s

So i really think this thread doesnt belong any more than a M seeking F one would.

As far as D/S being more than sex - of course it is. Most relationships are! and D/S is above all a relationship. It may be poly, or open, or monogamous but its a relationship with just different ground rules and conventions and possibly (for those into S&M and bondage) different sorts of play.

Good post Cindy about sex addicts.

Also I dont think my friends who are into D/S and even BDSM have sex any more often than my friends who arent.

theres alot more combinations than that. forget sections, there needs to be a seperate site with advanced sort.

that way, if you're a male tiger sub seeking an elf female master for a non-sexual relationship, you can find what you need

Just to clear up some misunderstandings that one might have.

The D/s relationship is based on trust and mutal respect. Each other is attentive to the others needs, more so then in a "regular" relationship.

The Dom has the desire to nurture ( one could call it controll its more of a guidance), the sub has the desire to please. This is not always in the sexual content. Its given in an unconditional manner to one another. Its a beautiful relationship when the trust is developed.

~Tya

I think that this is commonly brought forth by D/S proponents that a D/S relationship is "more intense" or "more attentive" than a 'regular' relationship.

This is not really true. a D/S relationship is no better nor worse than a 'regular' (traditional/vanillia whatever word you prefer) one.

There are inattentive dom/dommes , there are subs who do not really submit. There are people who top from the bottom. Their are a LOT of Dom/Dommes who Collect so many subs they coudlnt possibly care for them all ( this is especially true in online D/S).

Any relationship is just as beautiful when its unconditional. Perhaps D/S helps some people give of themselves more than they could normally give in a traditional relationship.

But to try and say D/S relationship is more than a regular one - is missing the whole point of relationships , really.

People from the scene may think this to be the case , but I dont think they really consider that people putting the same amount of effort towards providing for their partner's needs in ANY relationship the end result would likely be just as intense and rewarding.

The cherub was teasing, really!! Just ask him Warning, protect your elbows.