An open apology to Catherine Cotton

edit: *everyone else except Jim

How about trying "everyone that posted".

It has nothing to do with "my friends" or "everyone I talked to". FIC FIC FIC LOLL HAHA

Ardith,

<<So we should all be on eggshells because someone is incapable of socializing?>>

Is reaction to an apparent insult, after two years of constant insults an example of being incapable of socializing? I would rather describe it as a natural human reaction.

<<For what is probably the billionth time,>>

Um - teensy bit of hyperbole there I think.

<<your unwillingness to deal with this situation in a rational manner is your failing.>>

It is interesting that you attack the poster rather than the posting.

<<You can defend her all you wish, but the simple truth is that she randomly attacks people without cause or provocation, and then cries about the injustice being done to her.>>

If you are so keen on rationality, try looking at this thread again. We see someone, Poster A, very graciously apologising for an extremely bad miscalculation. Poster B, the one who mistook the intention graciously accepting the apology. The thread concerned those two people, and they both handled it very well indeed. But then we get Posters C and D coming in with gratuitous personal attacks and insults.

That is what my rationality sees in this thread. If you are incapable of seeing what I see, then I can only conclude that one of us has their perceptions awry. I know who I think that is.

I am seeing hyperbole, and it isn't coming from Ardith, if you get my drift...

Nolan,

<<I am seeing hyperbole, and it isn't coming from Ardith, if you get my drift...>>

That would be more convincing if you were specific.

Omgah!!! Selador, see that blue button in the lower right corner of the post that says Quote?? Click that and then type your post when quoting someone. It makes for easier reading.

MJ

What if Poster B called Posters C and D "pieces of shit" in a thread about an hour before this thread was created?

Oh and if NOLAN NASH was Poster E, then I think Poster B called Poster E a "fucking moron" or something along those lines in that same thread.

I would just like to know the Selador Rules of Thread Interconnectivity to know when exactly I am being a dickhead.

I was referring to your interpretation of the events of the past couple of years with regard to Ms. Cotton.

You simply ignore all the pre-emptive attacking she has done, and try to pass off hyperbole of your own, as fact - reasoning away the realities involved.

Are anyone's hands clean in these issues? Probably not. That is the nature of back and forth discussions of this nature - but damned if you don't try to whitewash away any responsibilty from Cat.

Luckily for Ardith, she is not a male, so she won't have to face hyperbolic accusations of being sexist.

Ok not to state the obvious here or anything, but you are discussing Catherine IN AN APOLOGY THREAD TO HER. Even with how I feel about her, at least leave the apology what it is.

nope!

/applause

I appreciate that old wounds run deep, but there's no good reason to pick at each other's scabs here.

*sigh* its so obvious of what must be done here.... smoke some weed. after a while, you won't care about what anyone says to you everyone is your friend now lets all hug. awwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeee

It is still quite possible a webpage will be created with the sole purpose of insulting you.


This thread is a shining example of how disliked Catherine is, and I thought I was alone

Nolan,

<<I was referring to your interpretation of the events of the past couple of years with regard to Ms. Cotton.

You simply ignore all the pre-emptive attacking she has done, and try to pass off hyperbole of your own, as fact - reasoning away the realities involved.>>

Not sure you understand the meaning of the word 'hyperbole' - and please don't post a dictionary definition. You might not agree with my interpretation of events, but there is no doubt that something happened. Had the forums been sweetness and light for the last two years you would be entitled to accuse me of using hyperbole.

<<Are anyone's hands clean in these issues? Probably not. That is the nature of back and forth discussions of this nature - but damned if you don't try to whitewash away any responsibilty from Cat.>>

For once I agree with you. And indeed, Catherine herself will remember that I defended Fizik Baskerville from her when she was making what were in my view unjustified attacks on him. But what I have seen over and over again - not billions of times, but many - is Catherine reacting to the revolting attacks leveled at her. And oddly enough, if I am quite truthful about my feelings over the matter, while a lot of it is sympathising with what Catherine is going through, it's also not wishing to witness the degradation of those who attack her. That is why I have been saying over and over again that they should look at themselves objectively if they can.

<<Luckily for Ardith, she is not a male, so she won't have to face hyperbolic accusations of being sexist.>>

No, it's not hyperbole. Unless you feel there is a tiny amount of sexism there but not a significant amount. I have never accused anyone of being sexist, incidentally, but have just pointed out that many of the victims have been women. I still mourn the passing of Candie Apple from the world - someone who put a hell of a lot into it, but reaped nothing but bitterness. It's not so much a question of gender, I feel, but perceived power.

pandastrong,

<<What if Poster B called Posters C and D "pieces of shit" in a thread about an hour before this thread was created?>>

I have said this before, but I will say it again.

When I was about eight or nine, at my primary school, there was a boy there whom I think today would be diagnosed as having Asperger's Syndrome. He was a very strange boy, and was unable to socialise in any normal way. He became something of an outcast.

The children discovered something rather gratifying. They found that if they attacked him - called him names, surrounded him, pulled at his clothes, threw stones at him, he would go into a rage. Nowadays it would be called a meltdown. This was great. Because he would swear at them and wildly try to hit them. This supplied a rationalisation and an encouragement for their continued attacks.

If a teacher intervened, it would be a case of, "Miss, he called me a bastard!" "Sir, he hit me first!"

I am ashamed to say that I never tried to defend him, and I have felt ashamed of this all the way to the present day. I didn't join in the bullying, but on the other hand I didn't lift a hand to help him.

It's not a mistake I will ever make again. Even though I had not expected to find an example of the playground mentality among a group of adults.

Is this a reference to the redneck barbie business?

(I'm still amused that that ever happened, btw. I mean. Your name is Eboni.)

You know what Selador? You can make all of the analogies about playgrounds that you want (inferring my mental state) replete with absurd allusions to Catherine's mental state (a kid with Asperger's?), but it doesn't change the fact that I am not a bully.

I know Second Life can be theraputic to some in certain ways, but you taking the brave step of labeling me indirectly as a bully on an intarweb forum isn't going to be very satisfying penance for whatever ghosts you have. Stop projecting your hero fantasy onto my make believe bully.

Eh, because I say my backpack "weighs a ton" doesn't make it true - and that IS hyperbole. This is how I see your having "pointed out that many of the victims have been women". Your exaggerating something that you think you see.

But let's not get mired in semantics. It's really unnecessary, as it has nothing to do with why I take issue with your stance. Perhaps I should have used the phrase "dubious insinuations". The most prominent of which has been, that certain persons have been "victimized" because they are female. You also seem to not recognize that many of the people that have taken issue with, or been targeted by Catherine, are women.

You are assuming a lot here. You assume that people have issues with her because of her gender - so what else could you be doing but insinuating that people who take issue with her are sexist? You are projecting some sort of parallel between the autistic kid you knew and Catherine... now, that is just, well... I don't know... other than to say where I am from, we call that "shooting one's self in the foot". You assume that Catherine is weaker than others. I don't see that - she voices strong opinions all the time. Many of those opinions contain personal attacks against individuals or groups. Just yesterday she called me a fucking moron, and a group of folks, including myself, "pieces of shit". Those are "revolting attacks", as you put it, and you will never hear me speak to her in that manner. It's incredible that you gloss over this type of behavior exhibited by Catherine...

Catherine, to the extent of my knowledge, does not have Asperger's, by the way, so I am unsure what point you were trying to make with that. She has Lupus. So does my sister, my niece, and sister-in-law - and it doesn't cause them to go off on wild jaunts into the realm of personal attacks festooned with profanity.

You want to talk about childhood? Then let me toss out something I was taught as a kid - If you can't take it, don't dish it out.

You need to stop and look at yourself objectively if you can. In your defense of Catherine, you make insulting insinuations, and, in fact, attack those people you are reprimanding for doing just that. You attack their character by behaving in the manner you supposedly oppose.

I agree that using this thread to air your views on Catherine is very inappropriate and also shows a great lack of respect for your fellow posters. Ellie has asked that you do not do this here two times at least. Please show a bit of restraint ~ its not like Ellie can close the thread herself to prevent this from happening.

Why yes it is! Gold star to Enabran for remembering

The bigger picture:

It doesn’t matter where I post or what I post there are ppl who follow me from post to post lashing out insults. I have sense had them on mute so I have no idea what they are saying in this thread. I have no doubt in my mind however that their words are meant to incite anger and hurt. I find no value in that train of thought. To continue to lash out at me full well knowing that you have been on mute proves to me without a shadow of a doubt that I was correct in putting you on ignore.

Gun shy? Absolutely I am who wouldn’t be after over two years of the same group following me from post to post with the sole intention of “riling me up”, “pissing me off”, “hurting my feelings”, “attacking me personally” and trying to get a reaction out of me. They did succeed in doing so. For that alone I apologize to the Second Life forum community but I do not apologize to them personally.

Now please get on with your lives and allow me to get on with mine. Any continued posts from this point on I will consider libel and harassment. Those posts will be reported as such .

I am not a victim because I choose not to be. I am not a perpetrator but I will defend myself.

Catherine

Followed by:

Thank you, Selador. Your motivation strongly mirrors my own. One difference is that it occurred at a high school which I entered after the young man had already spent 8 years with his tormenters. I didn't like the behavior but I was new at the school and, well, you know that group thing. I know the shame you felt, Selador; I endured it rather than give up my position. With each occurence, the cool kids grew smaller in stature in my eyes. Excessive aggravation led to an epileptic siezure on the occasion that I broke free of the spell. I don't know where my strength came from, but I knocked over the kid doing an ape imitation and told the others to get the eff out of the way. As I ministered to the 17 year old young man, my heart was pounding and tears flowed because I new I would be a victim, too. A few had already begun the defense mode of teasing me for touching "it". But the crowd was turned by a few others who told them to shut up. I had their respect after their opinion no longer mattered to me. Self esteem and the absence of shame became more important. I made new social ties which proved to be of greater value in the long run and was treated well by those I left behind. They still picked on the kid but not in my vicinty. Their was an awkward silence and eyes lowered when his premature death due to heart failure was announced at a reunion.

As an adult, I am not quick to jump into a fight; in fact the avoidance of it is an ingrained ghetto survival skill. I try to use appeals to reason and words to intervene with instead of my initial response of pushing and name calling. I ignore a lot and avoid responding at all to what I perceive as baiting. I no longer expect a discussion can be held between myself and most posters here. Maybe some one else coming into the forum will be considered differently but I doubt that too.

If the hen house wants to take a break from pecking on their current target and have a go at me for a bit, have at it. There's only a few people in sl whose opinion of me matters and they don't require thick skin or kid gloves to interact with them.

p.s. It's a positive thing, not a mothering thing.

I allowed this thread to remain open because it appeared it might’ve been productive; unfortunately it's become overrun with accusations and thinly guised personal attacks. Therefore, it's being closed.