The seed of doubt

The title is reflecting what's happening and what is going to ruin SL. It lurks inworld. It tells the truth just like "Wired" does. Yes, SL is a Big Bluff, but voice chat is a Big Mistake.

First of all - stop the silly litany: "You can disable voice". Women CAN NOT.
Women with voice disabled are generally considered to be men. This is what happens. And, anyhow, the most distressing feeling lurks inside relationships: the seed of doubt.

So, if SL is "your world, your imagination" (/me laughs)...
If SL is a place where you can be and free yourself and/or your selves, your personalities and fantasies (/me laughs)...
If we want to believe this is still true, well voice chat is simply a violation of privacy. In ethical, social and legal terms.

Voice chat FORCES a female avatar to make a choice and the choice always and anyhow involves problems if not pain and anguish.

Now that for the Cirkus of Illusions and Hypocrisy is closing time, lets try - at least - to save the remainder of the community.

LOL. IN fact, guys who disable voice are then assumed to be women. Voice modding solutions exist for both the Mac and PC. If you own Garageband on the Mac, you can download a free application called Soundflower and use any garageband live isntruments filter to affect your voice, including male-to-female and female-to-male.

No doubt many other solutions exist on both Macs and PCs

Dearly Darlings,

Several of my RL Sisters and a few other relatives are here in SL. So is my best friend who also sounds like me. If our husbands and family can't tell us apart neither can any of you! We plan on having a little fun with that! I love skyping when we are all together...it sounds funny to hear everyone sounding the same...like me!

You all have a lovely day!

Ever Yours,

Mrs. Showdog Tiger

I enabled voice once to listen in, purely out of curiousity (I don't even own a mic, and being poor, I didn't immediately rush out to find and purchase one -- I'm more concerned with making my food budget). There wasn't much voice chatter because almost nobody appears to actually use it, but my poor, aging computer immediately screamed, "Nooooooo!" as the extra burden (which felt quite severe, no matter what apologists say) was heaped onto it.

I've since not only disabled it but also reinstalled the old, pre-voice client, which I find runs more smoothly and is more stable, and which also lacks that horrid "Communicate" window.

Much better this way.

(/me laughs)...

Here we go again with the sweeping claims of doom to SL and now women because of voice.
I have a female avatar and have yet to be forced or even guilted into talking, and no one has attempted to do so even at some of the most crowded places in SL. People have asked if I (she) needed any help getting voice to work, and I (she) politely said that talking is not an option. And each time the other person either text chat with me or I listened to them and responded in text. This happened consistently. So where you’re going that this has been an issue, please let me know so I (she) can experience it. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen…just I’ve not experienced it.

If your crowd outs you for being a crossAVr by reason of nonverbal communicae- you are hanging with the WRONG CROWD PEOPLE.
If your significant other doubts who you say you are, because you would really rather not be heard scratching, smoking, playing with the cat or heaven forbid eating- TIME TO GET A NEW ONE.
Seriously! i know you guys don't fall for this crap in RL right? No one tells you that you have to wear chucks to be their friends anymore right?
Why would you give a HOOT if someone tries to say you're a liar in here, that's just putting the I'M A MORON sign on their own heads, and therefore outing themselves

I don't sound anything like a six foot yellow fox, oh well, guess I'll just keep voice off and anyone who thinks ill of me for it can go to hell

And I certainly don't sound like a 30 foot long dragon (30 feet is probably an understatement; I run across humans and go "they're so puny!" and try not to step on them).

I don't know who you're hanging out with, but my mind doesn't work like this at all.

So, before voice, all women were thought to be men? This whole concept is ludicrous. I think you guys are FAR too paranoid.

And if you think the SL community really IS in this mind set...why are you here?

Hey, look at Falco from Neverending Story (voiced by Sean Connery)...or what about Smog from The Hobbit?

I know I know...some of you don't WANT to get into character vocally. And some of you feel you just don't sound...right.

That's cool...it's not for everyone, I understand.

I find it a bit ironic when men say something like this -

"I have a female Av and I am never pressured to prove I am a RL female"

When - of course - the fact that many men have female avs is the REASON there is doubt in the first place.

You missed my point entirely. It has no baring on my comment...in fact, it's so obscure, you might not even be commented in regards to me...and if you're not, I apologize.

I mean, who in their right mind would think: 'Hmm...this woman AV just won't use voice...and I keep asking her to. She must be a MAN!"

If you guys really think this is an issue, then boy SL is a lousey place to hang out. The people here are idiots. (I'm being facetious)

I wasnt.

Cool. Sorry.

Actually I had to appreciate you making this point since it is very much on topic and helpful to the situation.

There are some people that are definitely paranoid about Gender online.

I have even met people who have RL girl Friends and Wives they met Online think that most female avs are men. This seems a bit warped, what do they think they met the only woman out there?

I know women who claim most female avs are men and state it very loudly. I think this is a basic competititive drive on their part. If they paint a broad brush on the "Competition" it leaves them with an advantage. Kind of like spreading rumors that their rival is a slut or whatever. Very much High School type mentality.

Then of course their are also men who play on female avs who want people to assume female avs are all men, to somehow rationalize what they do online. The whole "Everyone does it" thing.

The truth is some Female Avs are RL men, But many are RL women.

Some male avs are women, most are men.

Women playing men is probably less common then men playing women - But it does happen. A friend of mine just found out her Boyfreind is a biological woman who lives out her rl as a man.

My policy is just to beleive what people say. Its easier and leads to less problems. Sure people have lied to me in the past about things - but thats an issue with that person in particular, not people in general.

It amazes me how concerned people are with what's in the pants of people they will likely NEVER EVER meet, much less get into their pants.

What's wrong with "Sorry, I don't really know you well enough to voice with you yet."

or "there's too much noise around me right now."

or "I'm at a library, I can't use voice."

Really. If folks are going to lie about their gender convincingly they can learn to lie convincingly about other things as well. And for those that are being honest, if the person you're with can't accept that, then quit wasting time on the loser and move on.

On that same point. I avoid having my female av be put in any situation that would result in some one being made uncomfortable knowing she was really a he. She is not sexual in any sense and spends her time primarily shopping and enjoying small talk. There have been some posts in the past on why men want to be female avatars. And, as with me, the general consensus is….why not?!?

I think the more important question is why it such a big issue if a guy is using a female av or vice-versa? It's SL, you can be what you want, different species, sizes, shapes, why not gender too?

If someone assumes that a female av means a female player then they're being incredibly naive. Checking by asking the av outright to be sure is a good idea. Some people may go out of their way to try and fool someone into thinking they are something they're not, but similarly there are people who just don't advertise but will answer if asked.

I mean, gender isn't important to me at all, I'm here to talk to people, build, script and have fun. What's behind an avatar is a person, and it doesn't matter to me if that person is black, white, asian, disabled, left-wing, female or male and so on. If it matters to you then make sure, but it's silly assumptions that cause the problem to begin with.

Assuming a female avatar is a female player in the first place is as bad as assuming no-voice means something to hide. There's no basis for either.

I mean I have nothing to hide that someone can't find out by asking, I just dislike voice chat online. It's clunky and weird, I have no interest in getting a headset and prefer to have text I can re-read at my leisure, or keep a note of.

I think we all agree here. Good, it feels nice.

I think what we need to remember is that you shouldn't assume. You shouldn't assume what's behind the AV...more specifically to my problem was the person that says the majority of people assume you're a man behind a woman just because you don't voice--let's make it perfectly clear that there is something wrong with your thought-process if you instantly assume that.

I'm not trying to be harsh about the thought-process thing...but it's true. Why would you instantly assume it's a man, because they don't want to voice? That's just...weird.

Cheers!

As i usually say, this is no more Second Life - I call it Real Life Two.
I am an oldbie and i remember how things used to be: imagination, fantasies...where a soul was free to express him/herself and/or him/herselves.
We know what happened: SL became more and more a business platform, companies and commerce everywhere, all pervading RL stuff and obviously RL *behavior*.
So now we find market places where persons hang about just looking for a *real* date at the corner pub, now we find "See me on my yahoo webcam" groups, now we find italians seeking italians and they could be in a black box, in a textual chat, they really dont care. Look at the traffic in fantasy-themed regions...And look at the traffic in "real" towns.
In this new environment, in this new way of "playing" SL, the gender of the person you are talking to is most important. This is logic. I am glad you are not experiencing the problems many friends of mine are

I have experienced this.

Just becuase the posts in this thread argue that people shouldnt make assumptions and accuse people of hiding stuff.

Doesnt mean it doesnt happen.

The people who want Second Life to be 3d Eharmony really do exist, and are becoming more common. And yes Voice is used by some of those people to try to "encourage" others to be 3d Eharmony too.

I guess we should remember that a lot of them are desperate and lonely and their consideration for other people maybe gets forgotten in the shuffle.

My attitude in-world, name and avatar are mistaken for female rather too often.
Despite the slight soul-patch my avatar wears, people see an androgynous elf
and assume whatever. Will voice chat help establish that I'm most certainly
male? Who can say? I know quite a few women with voices deeper than mine.

Why does this make me want to buy a web-cam, create an account and mascarade as a female who is looking for real life partnership, ensnare someone, tell them to view my webcam, upon which they will view "SUCKER! It's all a fantasy!"

The people who want second life to be like 3d Eharmony are okay. The problem is when they are pushy with people who dont want their own second life to be 3d Eharmony.

Sadly I think some of those people are so desperate they dont listen to people who dont want a RL deal and try anyway.