Parents Must Assert Rights Over School Authorities

I would think most even if they had would say Never. So I still don't get your point. I would never have felt that way. I see people saying If you give kids Condoms then you are telling sex is ok and they will start having sex early. Well I can tell you on my 16th birthday I got a box of condoms, by my mother. I didn’t lose my virginity till I was 18, then only had it twice. Then not again for 3 years. The idea that telling or showing or giving kids any thing will make them do it is selling our kids short.

My point is simple Lupo. If you say "how many times have you had oral sex" it implies that most of their peers will have an answer to that question other than none.

See that is what I just don’t see. My mother said here have condoms, does that not mean that I SHOULD be having sex?

I know how everyone hates slippery slope arguments but if we tell our children young enough and often enough that privacy is not an option, that in fact, the desire for privacy is akin to concealment (an undesireable trait), then we are conditioning them to allow the government and corporations to effectively take this human right away from them.

When parents violate their child's expectation of privacy needlessly or when we as parents allow others to do so, then we are telling our children by our actions, that privacy is not important.

The database that Juro mentions is very dangerous. It sets our children up to be targeted, not only by the military (think draft), but eventually by corporations that do not have their best interests at heart either. If the government sells our drivers license information now, how long do you think it will be before they will be selling this information to the highest corporate bidder when it comes time to sell products or fill jobs?

It also leaves a trail - so if someone does something out of character or not generally accepted by the mainstream as a child, it will follow them through life forever. Not only will they not have a second chance, they won't have a first.

This database is just a reiteration of TIA (Total Information Awareness) except it's focused on Generation Y.

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MAAAAAAAAAAAAN! I never got one of these things!

No, your mom gave you condoms because she was thinking, "If he has sex, I want to make sure he will use these."

The phrasing of the question in the survey implies very strongly that it is *normal* to have oral sex (which it is) -- but imagine some poor 12-year-old thinking they should've had oral sex earlier.

Your comments about "not raising a child properly" are kind of off-base and completely disregards the delicate self-esteem of kids at that age and their need to be accepted by their peers.

I wish I had oral sex at 12 ;0 OH MAN!



You really have to work hard to make sure you don't influence the results by how you phrase things and most statistics are rather useless because improper method was used.. That doesn't mean you can't gain useful information from them, only that the information you wished to gain may not be represented in the statistics.

It could be that this is all PR though and the actual results are not important!

No real different with the question. People are doing it and they wanted to know if they are or not.


Just as thinking it’s NORMAL for me to have sex so giving me condoms.



First it’s not off base. You as a parent have XX amount of years to put the values you feel are good in to them so when they reach XX age then they SHOULD know what is right and wrong.
Now I have to talk about “self-esteem” and “accepted by their peers”. The two don’t really go together. I NEVER cared what others think. I had “self-esteem” and there for new what I that I didn’t need my peers to make me feel better.

People should , in general, on forums with an adult audience be a bit more careful when they generalize how people raise children.

Nothing will upset a parent faster, nor cuase them to lose less respect for someone's arguements if in response to a gueniune concern of theirs a blanket statement such as "you should have prepared them for this" is made.

Ill be basicaly blunt. I would much rather Err on the side of assuming people I DONT KNOW are good parents, then make blanket statements that they are not.

Yes, certainly, there is a considerable amount of irresponsible parenting in the world. Sure there differening approaches on some topics. A poster may even not like how some parents do something.

But to respond to someone who in all likelyhood is a responsible parent telling them they "if youd done you job, you shouldnt worry." is condescending.

People here are yelling, “They are telling my kids to have oral sex”. When really it should not mater what they are or are not telling them if you did your job as a parent. No mater what I say should not mater to ANY one here about this if they feel they have raised there child well. If you feel you did a good job raising your child then really why would this bother you knowing your child would not be doing something you disagree with. I NEVER said “You are a bad parent”. I don’t know you. I don’t know if are responsible or not. I don’t make blanket statements of how people are for the good or the bad. I do make a statement that a Parents Job is to raise there child and to teach them right and wrong. If you did that then what is the problem?

You're right. That is the parent's job, which is precisely why survey writers should be smart enough to write their survey questions in a way that doesn't undermine the parent's efforts. The point is very simple and it has nothing to do with how I personally would choose to raise a child. Get over yourself Lupo.

My statement was more then about your comments. I have seen similar arguement raised often over the last couple months on the forums. Especially about the teen grid.

This is why i used the words "in general" - basically "in general" parents deserve a bit more consideration then the "general" tone of this forum.

If someone handed ME a survey asking about Oral sex, drug use, etc., at the age of 34. I would hand it back to them BLANK.

My children know very specifically that they have the right to do the same.

The teachers and administration of the school know my phone number, Ill be happy to explain my reasons to them.

Hmm. To me the whole thing smacks of techno-fascism.

"Your individual desires must be subordinated in the interests of science(or whatever), which is whatever the Department of Science (or whatever) decides it is. You are not qualified to intervene."

I call bullshit on that, and on Arcadia's defense of it, which amounts to a more pure form of that statement.

If I have children, I'm not going to let them become de-facto wards of the State, if I can do anything about it.

#1 I know you meant it more for EVERY one but I thought I should state my point on what you said. Most of what you said was almost word for word what I had said.

#2 Soulds like you did a good job with your kids. They know what you feel is right and wrong. Still don't know if it's ture of not, but hay from what you said good job.

Get over my self? Maybe you are the one that needs to get over your self. You are making a statement a survey is bad. Who are you to say it’s bad? I am just making a point that maybe we as parents should take the responsibility on our self and not put it on others. That does not say it was written wrong or badly but that no mater what if we did our job and raised our child to believe as we feel they should then it does not mater. I never said Oral Sex at 12 was good or bad. Some would say why not, some will say it’s bad. I say to each there own, how I raise my two girls is up to me and my wife.

Techno-fascism? Wards of the state? Over an anonymous survey?

Sorry, I missed the section of the CDC's mandate about taking over the world. It looks more to me like a responsible effort to gather data on risks to children's health.

But I'm not surprised. Considering the conservatives' record of respect for the truth, I'd be shocked if the facts of the case were anything remotely resembling what was presented in (gods help us all) a Fox News editorial. Fox has been lying to us for so long that The Simpsons is a better barometer of the day's events than anything coming out of the news division.

The survey seems to be anonymous, regardless of the paranoia of the author of the article.

Aside from that. yes, lets not dare look into the real lives of the nations children. Ignore this completely, everything is perfectly all right and there's just no reason whatsoever that anyone needs to know the things this sort of survey is looking for.

Imagine the temerity of the government trying to find out about the sexual proclivity of children!!! How invasive! How prying!! Why it's just outrageous to ask children about bringing weapons to school, or about drugs! Better to imagine our kids in a world of disney and candy gumdrops.

Disgusting!!! Disgusting I say!

It's OK Red - that ostrich that had his head buried in the sand eventually died from suffocation.

Thing is Lupo, in the UK quite a lot of research and a lot of time and effort has gone into looking at the best way to question children who have alleged sexual abuse. The way in which a child is questioned may lead them to say things which are not true. It may give them ideas, or supply them with knowledge that is not appropriate to their age and development, and for that reason there are now officers who are highly trained to do this.

Children, most of them, wish to please their elders and are trained in school to do this. They are taught that there is a right and a wrong answer to all questions, and they have to study a long time to beging to realise this isn't true. At 12, they are still thinking that there are right answers...not every single 12 year old, the majority.

It has been shown in many studies, that children think that the rest of their peers are far more sexually active than they actually are, and that alone can lead some kids to start a sexual relationship much earlier than they are ready for. These two things combined, may lead kids astray.

I think it is abusive to force information on a child that the child is not ready to process, that's the issue.
Cali

Respectfully, what does proper interview technique of a sexually abused child have to do with an anonymous survey?

Which studies show conclusively that children generally think that their peers are more sexually active than they are? And further, that they then act to have sex themselves?

I think you give children too little credit here. Children are able to see shades of gray at the age of 12. If anything the average 12 year old gets too much sexual information from unsupervised TV viewing and the internet. Children are often far more savvy by the age of 12 than parents or other adults give them credit for.

I would want to review any survey and consent to what its purpose was before it was given to my child. I do not think that an article of this length can possibly cover what the full rationale was so I'm reserving judgement. There is a lot of data collecting going on in schools now for legitimate purposes . The CDC has grants which are available to fund at risk programs for youth. At risk means teen pregnancy prevention and a variety of other things. This survey seeks to establish a norm for behaviors, including at risk behaviors. Because the data is being used, I would want informed consent as a parent regarding what the purpose of the data was. If parents were doing their job then yes, many behaviors that define children as "at risk" for school dropout, teen pregnancy or arrest would not exist. However, many parents are not doing their jobs. The point of access for children at risk, where they interact with other adults who can assist them, is school. That is why school based outreach programs are important. I think abuse is a strong term, and I don't think a survey constitutes abuse. It's basic ethics though for parents to understand the use of any testing or survey data and to consent, or withhold their child from participation.

I see public schools as troubled, but I hardly think this survey is the source of the problem.

While I don't agree, I think you stated the case rationally and well.