Getting Black Balled in SL for doing your group job.

Ok..so I'm putting this out as sort of a Rant/question because I simply have to get this off my chest.

Not going to name names or anything buT There was a person in DarkWood who was not a member of the Themed community taking up space in our group project. Now when this person was simply approached by me, being an officer of DarkWood, to simply move over to another plot because I was asked by another member if this person would, this person started taking everything as an attack. This person publicly stated bad things about me and DarkWood to the point that finally this person was told they had to move. Plain and simple.

But do you think this person would stop there? Oh no. They started harrasing other members of the Officers to the point that not only I, but they too had to Mute them.

When asked to remove a part of my structure on my land, I did. When asked to fix a road by this person, I did. But when I tried to help out a new person with their building, This person banned me from access to their land and thus making it so I could not enter the property of the other person.

Now I know some of you are going to say, file an abuse report. Did that. The Lindens promptly responded and removed the said ban. So finally when it got to be too much I took this all to Nova Linden who didn't understand why this person was still in DarkWood. She said Vote or have our Leader make a decision to have this person removed. Our group leader had this person removed. Lindens made this person move and this person is out of DarkWood. Plain and simple.. If this person had ever JOINED DarkWood, they would have been left to live there. But the choose not to.

So now we come down to this.. People well some who will remain nameless yet, have decided to listen to the one side of that person. That is why everything we ever do is logged and while I never did anything outside of what was legal and rightly so, this person did and to those of you who I have met, gave gifts to, helped when you were new, attended your events, come to me and find out the whole story or at least my side, instead of treating me like some Ogre, although appropriate for The DarkWood Theme, but, if you look at my scores compared to some others, I have only been given a few Negs and that was in the old A.L. Days and that is a whole other issue.

Yes this is a game to many, but to some, especially those of us who truely love our Second Lives it is more than that. Say that it is just a game to those who can't leave their homes, their beds and you are not getting what SL is about. Say that it is just a game to those who have had long term illnesses find a sense of wholeness and freedom in SL and what do I say to you??? F@#$ YOU!.

This person said that to me, said it was just a game, but SL is more than that to me or was. I found a certain freedom to be my inner self and this person has destroyed that. I had met a lot of people I liked in SL and now I can't even talk to some of them. So go ahead and listen to that person. I don't care anymore. My deeds to many others stand by my actions. No one gets griefed or sent an Abuse unless they deserve it and I have only filed one in my time in SL and that was against this one person.

So when you call me a big baby, tell me to grow up, say I am harrassing you, look at yourself and let stuff die. I hope I never run into you ever again..

Now that I am finished with my rant, let the feeding frenzy begin.

Soren

Soren,

Don't worry. I read through that thread you are referring to and not a single person that I can see has picked up on that and started bashing you. At least, I don't see it. You were doing your job and no one is going to fault you for that. Actually, all of us tried to do our jobs but we can't be responsible for how people react to that. If someone is overly sensitive and sees everything as an attack, that is most certainly their problem and not yours.

The overhwelming majority of the people in Dw who own land are cool about the rules there -- they understand the reasons for them and why we need to follow them. Honestly, the rules are pretty simple really -- cooperate with everyone, be nice, and build in theme. If someone can't follow those rules, you can't take it personally.

Just take a deep breath and be happy that this person is gone from DW. Everyone else is cool, let us not let one bad apple spoil the bunch. I understand your frustration for sure, but that argument about it being "just a game" is a poor method for trying to invalidate someone's argument and is, in all honesty, a red herring. It has nothing to do with the actual discussion and is oftent thrown around to establish some kind of moral superiority of the person who uses it. Thankfully, most people know that's bullcrap and ignore it. At least, I do .

so . .*hugs.* You are doing just fine.

Z -- a fellow DW Elder.

Soren, I don't get into SL much lately, but I haven't heard any attacks on you. The fact that you are still there, while the Lindens removed the other person ought to be evidence enough for anybody. I have to say that I too banned the person you are referring to, after being continuously harrassed and harangued by them over the course of several weeks, but I still feel badly about the way things turned out. I have known a few people with personality disorders and paranoia is almost always a part of the problem. I still think we could have tried to work a little harder to iron out all the problems that they were having with others in the sim.

First..thanks Zana for the kind words..

Secondly your right David.. Just wish all the chatter this person has continued to do would stop..

Soren

There are always two sides to every story.

I know to whom you are referring and I know this person as very different from how you perceive and now publicly describe them.

This person is a good friend, fun, funny, smart, great builder, generous to all, entertaining, very well liked by many, and has been a viable part of SL for quite awhile.

She felt, as you must have, an injustice was done, so she fought her side of the battle, as you did.

If you wanted the chatter to stop, you probs should have set the example.

fen-

Obviously Feniks..you don't know both sides.. I stopped..she continued..plain and simple...At least I haven't run around SL telling everyone what a mean person she is..but since you obviously see her side..then that is fine.. Plus, since I never called her out in public in the future think about what she has done and then ask youself..do you REALLY KNOW HER?

I know more than you would like to give me credit for.

To quote one of my heros, Horton, "I meant what I said and said what I meant".

So in answer to your question, yes.


fen-

[/B]

Now dont feel like that.....BIG huggles.........I so often let others control my emotions....maybe your are not so easily done that way and have been griefed to getting to that point but dont let it getcha. Even the nicest people are gonna find someone that just ruins every good turn they try. Even turning the other cheek gets hard. But dont you feel liberated to get it out..??.......this will pass...and the ass that you kindly didnt name, more than likely, will get whats comen to them.......hmmm.....that gives me a super idea........(ponders with evil grin)

Soren,

Unlike my friends I come right to the point.

Your an ass.


Xavier

Hey Xavier,

Thanks for proving my point!!!

Soren...

Notice..I didn't call YOU a name..

Soren, what you kindly neglect from your story is the fact that regardless of your verbal dispute with said non-DarkWoody (sorry, couldn't help myself) it wasn't just "I took down a part of my build that was on my land." You put a wall up in front of the door to her home. You put a wall up in front of the door to her home! You should be happy you took it down before Lindens actively pursued the abuse report that was filed on you. I know nothing, zero, zilch about the fight you and she had, but I -do- know that I saw the wall planked up against the entrance to her home. And that's wrong. There's better ways to settle things.

Just so everyone can have an opinion the evil, vile indiviual Soren is speaking of is no other than Taylor Thompson. Yes, the same Taylor who makes the cute furry animals, and hosts event after event that is always well catered. The same Taylor who has enriched the SL experience for so many of us.

Well lets hear from all these officers that had to mute her. I think we can fill the next 500 posts with people telling you your full of crap. Your talking shit about one of the nicest people in SL you stupid newb. Her getting tossed from the darkwood area is your loss.



Xavier

I think any people that are giving you a hard time because of whats happend between you and I maybe they saw the wall you built and put up to block me from going in my building? The wall was up for an entire day. You asked me to move my place nicely once, I replied I really didnt want to and that is when you began to tell me to move or my stuff will get deleted. Move or I will be kicked out. This wasnt because of changes in darkwood. It was because YOU wanted my land. I have, and had no reason to harass you. You on the other hand seemed to make it your mission. I think maybe your idea was if you harassed me enough I would leave. So one day I banned you from my land to get you to realize youre not the boss of me. I did not realize it blocked you from someones house and when you Imd me I quickly removed it. The lindens did NOT remove that ban I had on you on my land *I* did.

Also, how about those annoying "farting" sounds you kept blasting that one day? OR how about you and those two people you kept talking to about me, right next to me as I worked on my place? " Hey thats against the rules putting a window like that.. OMG whats that!" (Can we say childish?)



Also I *WAS* a member, I just decided to take it off, and because of that Technicality it was easy to have me "removed" ( well I actually left...but we can call it removed if you want ? ) The group wasnt group like, hardly any of the orignal members were apart of it. There were no meetings, the new leaders werent voted on, and so

I did not ask you to remove any "structure" on your land. Unless you are referring to the wall you put up. I asked you to fix a piece of road that was vibrating , and you ignored me and a few days later fixed it ( I guess you really DID hear me asking ? ) Wow does that make you some kind of saint like you were trying to get along? What about deleting the entire road way that was next to my building, in the front of my shop? There were about five other people that saw that wall including one linden so please dont deny it.

I think I addressed everything you said and if I didnt please feel FREE to point out ANYTHING I missed. I don't understand why when I try to talk with you privately in sl to better understand this "ISSUE" you have with me. You will have nothing to do with it, but you will gladly make it an issue when their are people to do it infront of ?

Hopefully you will actually READ and RESPOND to this without making it such a dramatic thing with an audiance.

I think you need to stop viewing this as a YOU thing and try to view it being me. Or ATLEAST see both sides and not try to have everyone think youre this great ol innocent guy

I also did NOT harass David cartier in ANY WAY . I cant BELIEVE he is trying to say I did .

This isn't strictly true. Soren put up a wall and the other person apparently moved their doorway round the side of the building the wall was on. In any case the door was at that point no longer on the lane it had been on. I really have reservations about jumping in here, in fact I'm hoping it gets pulled, the whole thread, since this whole thread is kinda pointless now, but I had to listen to a constant stream of complaints over the course of a month or more about Soren and continually refused to get involved with their dispute. Just about every time I logged in there were IMs from this person - who was not even a member of the group - complaining about the size or appearance of Soren's building and bridge, which was and is none of my goddamn business (or theirs) as it was and is within theme. As for the original dispute, which I think set the whole thing off, Soren was requested by Kitra Lothari and myself, since he was doing the real estate stuff at that point, to ask the other party to move over one lot, so there wouldn't be a break in the theme. Since this person was not a member and had no building on their lot we didnt view the request as any kind of hardship.
The whole thing culminated one night with Zana and myself blocking this person and banning them from our land in hopes of just ending the nuisance. A couple of days later the Lindens removed them from the sim. I was really thinking that the whole mess was over then, as it really should be.

I like both Soren and Taylor and it kills me to see all this drama. Both are highly creative and wonderful folks. Please do not continue to lash out publicaly. I must also say Soren I think you went a little overboard here. Your words were very hurtful. I know SL means a great deal to you as it does to me and but also to Taylor. Sometimes its best to vent our words on paper walk away for a day go back and re read them. Very often I find that the situation is not nearly as bad as I first thought. Its amazing what a little rest will do for a person. I am telling you this from personal experience here in the forums. There is an old saying I try to remember when I am upset by something someone has done.

"There is his side, there is her side, then there is the truth"

Which in affect means they can both be right and wrong its all a matter of preception.

Its obvious to be that nothing good came of this both ppl got hurt and yet another build was lost in Darkwood.

Think twice speak once

Catherine Cotton

You know what.. I'm done. This is silly

Well then..let's just make one last point or well final thought on this and let it die...

We were wrong in dealing with each other..I can see where many of us may take someones words and turn them around to suit each other.. So which ever story you decide to believe then fine. I really don't care anymore. There are a lot of truths and as what Cathrine said in her post there are two sides and the truth.

So believe what you want... Now lets all walk away keep our collective mouths shut and leave each other alone.

Soren

Okay soren , just *WHAT* fact am I lying about?

Dog with a Bone..Dog with a Bone...

Honestly, as a totally objective third party observer, I don't know what to believe. Just forget about it, make up and be friends, or something. Totally not worth arguing about...

I wanted to apologize to Taylor.....I didnt know who Soren was talking about and did call the unnamed an azz.....who is very much not an azz......I hung out with Taylor abit yesterday at the Bakery shop...where I ate cake and drank wine......I just have a hard time believeing that a griefer of such sorts.....makes cake for birthday parties....has a nice Bakery in Morris....loves the cute n fuzzys and would go out of their way to IM me to tell me that they were the unnamed and then envite me to see their home and chat with me for a good bit.....and basicly....a careing person. I dont think Taylor is your run of the mill griefer, even tho I think she would stick the title on before her name for some giggles....


.....sorry Taylor.....I should SHUT MY BIG YAPPER before knowing all the facts....

Neither person sounds anything like a griefer here; they just can't communicate with one another to save their second lives (that's my guess...lol).

This sounds like two people who have lost sight of the fact that when all said and done this is all just pixels.

Group of pixels A wanted group of pixels B to arrange their pixels on another area of pixels, resulting in wall of pixels in the wrong place and two very unhappy piles of pixels.

And here we all are reading more pixels telling us effectively nothing about it other than the level of feeling.

The real loss here is to darkwood, which has lost enough already in my opinion. In the spirit of Darkwood and what it *should* stand for, and speaking as a member myself, it would be nice to see the rift healed and Taylor back enriching the theme.

So who is going to be big enough to open their arms for a group hug first?

I'm sorry this came on the boards guys. I've gotten over/past this incident, I even tried to "make up" with Soren but he doesnt talk to me in secondlife(unless to give me a hard time ) . I think he posted to get attention. I've moved on. I think maybe people saw the wall (in person) and maybe recently gave him a hard time and that is why?

You brought it up on the thread about an SL Senate.