Stranger Greetings

Hey all

This is just a thread to post some thoughts...

Back when i began Second Life I remember if you went anywhere in the world
youd find a friendly stranger. This week as ive played SL ive been noticing a
lack of stranger greetings... for example....
I landed at a telehub and bumped into another player.. I said apologies and bid good day
but the player just flew off without a word. I was shopping in the world and said hello
to a few fellow shoppers I passed, but no reply was given. So Im wondering is friendliness weigning among strangers? Or was this just a bad week? Im leaning toward the latter

In defense of being fair I will say while spending time in the sandbox I did encounter a few nice folks who were most kind, but Im curious as to others thoughts if any?


thanks for reading and have a great day/night.

Hmm..

I'm guilty of not saying hello to people on TeleHubs, and sometimes when shopping.
When flying around for the heck of it, or just seeing someone come near, I usually go and greet though.

Ive noticed a few things myself on this subject. Thanks for starting up a discussion about it

Back in the day, I used to say hello to pretty much everyone I saw. Not necessarily to strike up a conversation, but just to be friendly. I dont think I would go out of my way to say hello to someone if they were clear across the room mind you, but if I happened to be within ear shot, I would feel a hello was definately in order.

These days, I find myself saying hello and then standing around like an idiot waiting for a reply. Maybe they are afk? Maybe they are in IM? Who knows? I do find it strange though that I get no response more often.

I've also noticed this when arriving at some events. I'll arrive, find my seat, say a quick greeting to everyone and proceed to get comfy. Im lucky if 3 people greet me back. What is really bad is when the host of the event fails to greet you. I understand they may be busy setting things up and getting organized, but it doesn't take long to shout out a quick greeting to the people who have taken time out of their day to spend with them you know?

Having said all that though, there are plenty of people out there with a friendly word of greeting for me as they pass me by. Thanks to those of you who make me feel welcome in this big wide world of ours

It's not a small town anymore. It's a city.

Almost more like foreign countries sometimes...

Hey ! thanks for the replys! Its good to read Im not the only one noticing.
Perhaps it is the world is growing.. but wouldnt it be excellent world relations
to exchange a friendly greeting

Actually, I've been wondering if the "not saying hi at telehubs" effect might not be a decent argument in favour of getting rid of them altogether. Not to hijack the thread or anything, but honestly, it seems like any kind of mass transit -- they're a dehumanizing force.

I'm not saying that things would necessarily be better if we could teleport directly from point to point, but it occurs to me that people might be more inclined to say hello or interact with their fellow residents if they didn't have the reinforcing effect of ignoring and being ignored by other users every day.

Lately, I've tried to get to meet new people, and it's very refreshing.

I notice this as well. I used to sometimes stop and say hello, but usualy anymore I'm too busy and I just want to get the hell away from the telehub and get to where I want to be . When I have time though I'll sometimes use the telehubs to explore, which can be interesting.

The shopping thing... I rarely shop, but yes I've noticed this as well. I think people generaly treat it as they would with RL shopping, few strangers do you strike conversations with while at a market or something, unless you catch their eye kinda thing. It depends on my mood if I greet people in stores or not, which was true back when the grid was smaller as well.

The most disconcerning thing I've found with the telehubs and interaction with others, is when you teleport IN someone. This always leads to an awkwardness. Or when you teleport and theres 4 people standing on the pad, heh. Leads for weird social interaction.

I often say hi at hubs or shops, sometimes I get a reply but mostly not. I think people at hubs are rezzing enough to fly to their destination.

Alexa

Catherine Omega has been here longer than anybody! Since 1969!

Interesting that you bring this topic up, Rosa. I'm much newer than you, but I pretty much gathered from day one that people generally do not speak at telehubs, and aren't expected to. I chalked that up to the rezzing thing, and to the standing on each other's head thing, which, you gotta admit, one is best off pretending didn't just happen.

The shopping thing, I used to say hi to folks there, and sometimes still do, but I gathered eventually, from almost total lack of response, that that's not de rigeur either. S'okay by me, so I generally don't pipe up there, either. The owner, if there, will often come over and say shop-type things, and that's great, too. Gives me a chance to praise the merchandise or its display, if I'm so inclined.

As for the other places, although one could say the game is more unfriendly than others (which it is, but largely due to things like the above), I've come to assume afk-ness or immersion in a project as the likely culprit there. If I'm doing more than saying hi in passing, and have something I actually want to say, I'll usually stand around a few moments. If I see an arm go up, I'll repeat the hi, and a conversation generally ensues. In general, in other places, people who aren't afk are perfectly amenable to responding to one's "hi" and to a bit of chit-chat if one has some chit-chat to make, and very often come over from where they are or were to initiate a little conversation themselves.

In a huge group, if only two or three people return the greeting, I figure that's appropriate. You have been acknowledged, and for 17 to do the same would be unnecessary, and distracting, considering how many people come and go from something. I've learned pretty much not to initiate anything when two people who might be a couple are together anywhere, whether in their houses or not, since privacy is kind of hard to get on this game.

So I've adapted well to this culture. It means that if I want things relatively peaceful and quiet, I get it. If I want to pass through somewhere, I don't have to feel rude if I don't stop to greet everyone. If I'm shopping, unless the other person says something, I don't feel a need to greet them. As for telehubs, much as I appreciate having them, well, the less said there, the better.

coco

people not saying hi in telehubs doesnt bother me.

people wandering into my land, rezzing a few wood cubes, then just walking away when I say hi make me angry.....

I suspect the return rate on hellos is greater if one says "Loki Pico, hello" than just "Helllo". There are so many people, you never know who a plain hello is directed at, it is embarassing to return a greeting that wasn't meant for you.

Even more so with undirected compliments on appearance, seeing "Nice Av!" and saying "Thanks" and then seeing "Oh, I wasn't talking about you Sue." is a bad feeling.

Catherine, I've been in favor of PtP TP too, but I don't think the telehubs are 'dehumanizing'. Annoying, yes (especially the ones some idiot put a roof over), but 'dehumanizing' is a bit overdramatic.

Two of my recent in-game friends were the product of telehub encounters. Both were raw newbies at the time. I offered help to both of them, showed them a few freebie spots and gave them some pointers. An hour of my time in exchange for more good friends. I had to make the first move, of course, but that was the easy part.

Hi Sue.

Along that line, shoppers do have a vast array of possible locations to search and browse through FIND and landmarks to discover shops that carry what they're looking for. Then they go to purchase and move along; there's not time, literally, to risk having to stop and talk to somebody just because you said "hello."

But it's more than that. The whole experience is not so radically novel anymore. People are starting to treat SL like it's some sort of Internet service than a game. Estate and mainland parcels are viewed as combined 3D websites and chatrooms that are located using tools comparable to 2D search engines. The Grid provides the chat service but it's only used to communicate with friends and customer support personnel. We seem to roam around looking for information at least as often as we look for entertainment.

Telehubs save us from the isolation we bring on ourselves when we splinter into niche groups of people we like to talk with and play with and support in every way. They force us to bump into each other and say "hello." They also force us to explore the world, download billions of extra bytes, and see thousands of builds we would otherwise miss. They hold The Grid together by filling in the holes we dig by wanting to go directly to locations, after we've researched to find the place we really want to go, and by wanting to converse with our friends and aquaintences rather than every ruth we meet.

Obviously, the previous paragraph was typed tongue in cheek. The telehub experiment failed a long time ago primarily because people have a tendancy to niche themselves and to view The Grid as a platform of tools rather than a world. I expect though that LL will continue their efforts to develop a method of forcing the entire population of The Grid to function as one single community. We're just waiting to see what they come up with next.

I fail to see how telehubs do this.
I only go to telehubs because I am usually sent to one when going someplace else. Then I fly sky high and out to where the red line takes me ignoring all the stuff that attempts to rez. Which usually isn't much that high up.

Unless I'm in a big rush to get something done, I still feel weird NOT saying hi to people when I'm within range of them. I see them, they see me, it would just be awkward not to say something. And often I'll start a conversation with randon people I meet who have dropped by Boardman (which is where I "live" to check it out.

Good point, SuezanneC.

One anomaly in SL is that it while it resembles real life interactions, it doesn't completly replicate them. For example, in real life if I walk up to someone and say hi, it's obvious to them that I'm in front of 'em and directing my greeting to them. In SL, the av may have their viewport zoomed somewhere else, be engrossed in other chat/IM/scripting etc.. and not even see me.

I also agree with posters who pointed out that it's not a small town anymore. In the early days, anyone you met was likely to be someone you'd see again- a neighbor of sorts, so there was more incentive to be friendly. Not that I advocate being rude to strangers, but I understand why people seem more aloof.

I used to enjoy chatting at telehubs, but these days I mostly want to get the hell out of there before too much stuff starts rezzing. So if I appear at a telehub, and you say "Hi", I will usually be on my way before your chat appears on my screen.

If you get going fast enough, you can avoid having to go UP to get over the crap. You can just fly right through where it will appear. but you have to be quick.

If I could reliably teleport with my jetpack, I would probably worry less. But because I'm not wearing any flight assist when I materiaze, I'd rather get going without stopping to put on my gear.

I think the teleport issues contribute to making SL less friendly.

Buster

i really cant stand bad manners and try say hi to every one i see because thats how it was when i joined the game, you see some one you say hi maybe have a chat get to know some one knew.

a few weeks ago i was very disappointed after saying hi to a fellow mentor i totally ignored, what kind of impression is this person sending to new people to this game that they cant even be botherd to say hi when they have put them self up to be a game mentor

anyway bad manners suck if some one says hi reply it dosnt cost you anything and you may make a friend or two

The Mentor was probably helping someone in IM, or away from the computer. I've yet to find an unfriendly Mentor

Being a newbie without any building skills in Second Life, money trees is the main source of income for me and many others who have just started out. With the Free Trial offered by Linden Labs as well as others who are newbies, the money trees has generated alot of competitive frenzy to get to them first.
Yup, yup, this is in part of the reason i almost fly away soon after appearing at a telehub fully rezzed or not.

I tend to be quiet unless spoken directly to, as in the past; i have replied back embarrassingly to another player who was saying hello to another player and was not talking to me.

However, when my newbie Tree "Hugging" raiding days are over, i'll be able to sit down and actually spend some quality time socializing with more people than i have on my list right now.

Hi Loki, hope you are doing well.

Note our meeting is taking place in the forums, not at a telehub. A disadvantage of telehubs over forums as a meeting place is that at telehubs both parties have to actually be in the same place at the same time in order to meet. How 20 minutes ago can one get?

By the way, just to make it absolutely clear, one does not use "Hello Loki" to greet everyone, you have to change the name to match the person you are trying to greet.

Ack!! Who could be cruel enough to say that?? If I forgot to add a name and someone said that, I'd smile and say you're welcome, and then say to the person I meant "Hey XXOO, your av looks great too!" Or something at least.

As for the "Hi" thing, I'm a huge "Hey everyone" person. hehe.. I say hey to everyone all the time. *Except* if I am just at a telehub, I'm usually flying off before fully rezzing. That would be about the only time I may not say hi. But that is only because I haven't seen you yet.

EDIT to add: Although, if I'm flying away and I see a "Hi" on my screen suddenly, I'll actually IM the person to say hello and that I was sorry I was flying off and just caught them speaking to me.