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Jokes that initially confuse people

Fmeh Tagore
Just another fat guy
Join date: 12 Jul 2006
Posts: 670
09-11-2006 01:24
A way to confuse people:

Get out 3 pennies and use them as visuals for the joke.

Then say the following: Pam's mom had three kids.

Lincoln (move one penny into the foreground)

Penny (move another penny into the foreground)

And.... (ready the last penny to be moved into the foreground, making sure you look at them in a way that says, "Okay, it's really easy, guess the last one!";)

And when they don't get it, remove the pennies and start the joke over.

Start again, "Pam's mom had three kids." etc..

It generally takes them at least three times before they finally get it.

If you don't get it for some reason, go to the bottom of this message..
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PAM!!!!!!
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Jillian Callahan
Rotary-winged Neko Girl
Join date: 24 Jun 2004
Posts: 3,766
09-11-2006 01:25
My favorite "glance-off" punchline is:

These three guys walked into a bar. You'd think at least one would have ducked.
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Listle Huskerdu
Registered User
Join date: 12 Jul 2006
Posts: 127
09-11-2006 04:26
Three nuns sitting on a bench, when a flasher exposes himself, two had a stroke and one couldnt reach.

the old ones are the best!
Tod69 Talamasca
The Human Tripod ;)
Join date: 20 Sep 2005
Posts: 4,107
09-11-2006 04:33
My fiance used one of my old ones as an example of sick humor in her sociology class:

Q: What do you get when you stick a knife in a baby?

A: An Erection. :eek:


Took people about 1 minute to figure it out. :D
Chronic Skronski
SL Live Musician
Join date: 23 Jun 2006
Posts: 997
09-11-2006 07:15
I call them "joke grenades".




Q: What's grey and comes in quarts?

A: An elephant.
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Mocc Spatula
Death to all fanatics!
Join date: 6 Apr 2006
Posts: 303
09-11-2006 07:18
Q: What's red and loud and can't turn 'round in corridors?

A: A baby with a javelin through its head.


Q: What do you call I guy with no arms and no legs floating in the sea?

A: Bob


And finally, a rather nicer one. This was a delayed reaction joke for my 9yr old son. He sat there thinking about it for about 5 minutes, then keeled over in fits of giggles and couldn't stop chuckling all afternoon....

Did you hear the one about the blind skunk who fell in love with a fart?
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Vares Solvang
It's all Relative
Join date: 26 Jan 2005
Posts: 2,235
09-11-2006 07:37
What's the difference between light and hard?


You can have a light on all night.
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Mocc Spatula
Death to all fanatics!
Join date: 6 Apr 2006
Posts: 303
I say, I say, I say...
09-11-2006 07:47
My dog's got no dictionary.

How does he spell terrible?
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Mocc Spatula
Death to all fanatics!
Join date: 6 Apr 2006
Posts: 303
09-11-2006 07:54
Oooh! Oooh! another one....


Patient: “Doctor, Doctor - I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum.”

Doctor: “I've got some cream for that."
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Vares Solvang
It's all Relative
Join date: 26 Jan 2005
Posts: 2,235
09-11-2006 08:15
From: Mocc Spatula
Oooh! Oooh! another one....


Patient: “Doctor, Doctor - I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum.”

Doctor: “I've got some cream for that."



BOOO!!!!
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Ananda Sandgrain
+0-
Join date: 16 May 2003
Posts: 1,951
09-11-2006 08:21
My grandfather was at a restaurant in Acapulco, when the busboy came over and asked,

"You finish?"

He replied, "No, Danish."
Mocc Spatula
Death to all fanatics!
Join date: 6 Apr 2006
Posts: 303
09-11-2006 08:43
From: Vares Solvang
BOOO!!!!


Hmmmm.... didn't like that one? OK, how about this:

A German Shepherd dog went into a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote:

“Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.”

The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog: “There are only nine words here. You could send another ‘Woof’ for the same price.”

“But,” the dog replied, “that would make no sense at all.”
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Vares Solvang
It's all Relative
Join date: 26 Jan 2005
Posts: 2,235
09-11-2006 08:48
From: Mocc Spatula
Hmmmm.... didn't like that one? OK, how about this:

A German Shepherd dog went into a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote:

“Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.”

The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog: “There are only nine words here. You could send another ‘Woof’ for the same price.”

“But,” the dog replied, “that would make no sense at all.”



Much better! :)
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Mocc Spatula
Death to all fanatics!
Join date: 6 Apr 2006
Posts: 303
09-11-2006 09:53
From: Vares Solvang
Much better! :)


:-D

Me happy now. I'm dancing like my Nabaztag.
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Showdog Tiger
Registered User
Join date: 30 Nov 2005
Posts: 404
I'm So Short.....
09-11-2006 10:00
Dearly Darlings,

I had to think a bit about the baby joke. Any how I'm been saying this two for years and years:

When hearing a joke:......wait, slow down...I'm so short most jokes go over my head.

And advice to young women when getting married:

There's only one sentence you have to know to say to your husband and it works in all situations: "I'm coming!" (Been with Maneo RL for 30 years.)

Ever Yours,

Mrs. Showdog Tiger
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Dogdom Doge
Zuzu Fassbinder
Little Miss No Tomorrow
Join date: 17 Sep 2004
Posts: 2,048
09-11-2006 10:01
A father and his son were involved in an auto accident.

The father was killed instantly, and the boy was rushed to the hospital.

Apon arrival at the hospital, the surgeon on duty had to be replaced, because the boy was the surgeon's son.

How is that possible if the father died instantly?

(I'm hoping this one doesn't trip up as many people as it used to when I first heard it many years ago)
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Syrrh Hurnung
Registered User
Join date: 9 Jul 2006
Posts: 55
09-11-2006 10:05
A priest, a rabbi and a bum walk into a bar.

Bartender looks up and says, "What, is this a joke?"

(End with a long uncomfortable silence waiting for others to laugh if they didn't get it)
Ledje Gorky
Registered User
Join date: 1 Jun 2005
Posts: 126
09-11-2006 10:12
oh please...its killing me.....please explain :

-the one with the baby and the knife......;is it a language thing , cuz im not getting it?

-the one with the father and son

:)
Billybob Goodliffe
NINJA WIZARDS!
Join date: 22 Dec 2005
Posts: 4,036
09-11-2006 10:16
my favorite is when I talk with my prespective in-laws who are what I call city-dwellers. When I make jokes about being a redneck and such they just stare at me, like I'm an alien.
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From: Corvus Drake
I asked God directly, and he says you're a douchebag.



Commander of the Militant Wing of the Salvation Army

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Lianne Marten
Cheese Baron
Join date: 6 May 2004
Posts: 2,192
09-11-2006 10:17
From: Ledje Gorky
-the one with the father and son


[Spoiler]Women can be doctors too.[/spoiler]
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Vares Solvang
It's all Relative
Join date: 26 Jan 2005
Posts: 2,235
09-11-2006 10:18
From: Mocc Spatula
:-D

Me happy now. I'm dancing like my Nabaztag.



http://www.badgerbadgerbadger.com/

:D
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Showdog Tiger
Registered User
Join date: 30 Nov 2005
Posts: 404
Don't Worry Dear
09-11-2006 10:28
From: Billybob Goodliffe
my favorite is when I talk with my prespective in-laws who are what I call city-dwellers. When I make jokes about being a redneck and such they just stare at me, like I'm an alien.


Dearly Darling Mr. Goodliffe,

If your prospective In-laws are from NC you do not need to worry, there are no social ladders to climb here.

If they are not from NC you don't have to worry either Damn Yankees don't count.

Ever Yours,

Mrs. Showdog Tiger
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Dogdom Doge
Billybob Goodliffe
NINJA WIZARDS!
Join date: 22 Dec 2005
Posts: 4,036
09-11-2006 10:30
From: Showdog Tiger
Dearly Darling Mr. Goodliffe,

If your prospective In-laws are from NC you do not need to worry, there are no social ladders to climb here.

If they are not from NC you don't have to worry either Damn Yankees don't count.

Ever Yours,

Mrs. Showdog Tiger

my inlaws live in downtown Atlanta, I live in very rural south GA

on a side note, what part of NC are you from?
_____________________
If life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade and try and find someone who's life has given them vodka and have a party!

From: Corvus Drake
I asked God directly, and he says you're a douchebag.



Commander of the Militant Wing of the Salvation Army

http://e-pec.info/forum/blog/billybob_goodliffe
Showdog Tiger
Registered User
Join date: 30 Nov 2005
Posts: 404
Sorry Mr Goodliffe
09-11-2006 10:42
Dearly Darling,

I'm sorry... old age I guess. I thought you were from NC. Atlanta is a great place. My advice to you now is to get a compass and draw a circle around your work the farthest you want to drive. Do the same thing with the location of the In-laws house. Pick a place from these circles that forces them to call first before they come over. Maneo went a step further...we live 1500 miles away from both sides of the family. That and separate bathrooms is the secret to a long and happy marriage.

Ever Yours,

Mrs. Showdog Tiger
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Dogdom Doge
Billybob Goodliffe
NINJA WIZARDS!
Join date: 22 Dec 2005
Posts: 4,036
09-11-2006 10:44
From: Showdog Tiger
Dearly Darling,

I'm sorry... old age I guess. I thought you were from NC. Atlanta is a great place. My advice to you now is to get a compass and draw a circle around your work the farthest you want to drive. Do the same thing with the location of the In-laws house. Pick a place from these circles that forces them to call first before they come over. Maneo went a step further...we live 1500 miles away from both sides of the family. That and separate bathrooms is the secret to a long and happy marriage.

Ever Yours,

Mrs. Showdog Tiger

these are my son's future in laws

my wife's family lives in town, but they generally stay out of our business.
_____________________
If life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade and try and find someone who's life has given them vodka and have a party!

From: Corvus Drake
I asked God directly, and he says you're a douchebag.



Commander of the Militant Wing of the Salvation Army

http://e-pec.info/forum/blog/billybob_goodliffe
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