Ask Jake Anything

I just found out Dr. Laura is not a licensed counsellor. She just gives out advice. I figure she can do it, why can't I. I am a licensed Counsel which is close enough for talk radio! So ask away, about almost anything (see disclaimer).















A discalimer: I will not offer specific legal advice with respect to any particular situation either in the State of California, or in any Jurisdiction. It is best if you don't ask me about your particular legal problem, but consult with an attorney in your jurisdiction. No attorney-client relationship is created by my responding to any question in this forum.

What is your favorite color?

Green, with purple being a close second.

If Karl Rove's latest public statement makes me so mad that I go out to the bar, get really drunk, end up sleeping with one or more scuzzy losers, and end up with an unplanned little bundle, can I sue Rove for child support?

Can Dr. Laura potentially be sued for misrepresentation?

Arcadia, no, unless Karl Rove is the father.
Siro, that is an interesting question, but have listened to her show I note she focuses more on ethical issues than medical ones, and she seems very clear about not offering particular adivice..most of the those calls she returns to her handlers. So she is likely safe from litigation.

Will Arcadia's bundle look anything like me? If so, can she please sue Rove for child support?

howmuchwoodcouldawoodchuckchuckifawoodchuckcoldchuckwoodchuck?

Yes to much caffiene *downs his third 2 Liter of the day...only been up...4 hours at most.*

Ok, My question is; why do girls not like me after they visit my house? I realize it's a bit cramped and all, it IS a Ford Econoline - but - it has a lovely view of the river damn it!

Panda, no, but you may be required to come in for a genetic test to see if you are the father! LOL

Foucault, I should think about a half cord of pinewood an hour. But the real question is why does a wood chuck want to chuck wood. If you have a more philosopical bent you might ask if a wood chuck chucks wood ina forest, does it make a sound?

Geographically, that might be possible. But I pray to all the Gods and Goddesses that I never get that drunk.

Thank you, Jake, for your selfless public service.

Well Nolan, it could be that its not your house they dislike. Or maybe its the fact that a lovely view of the river does not make up for not having a sitting room to impress thier mother and freinds. Or maybe you should push the jumper cables and car battery further under the bed.

Was old mother hubbard a hottie when she was young n why didn't she use birth control?

Well Old mother Hubbard was not entirely a hottie in her youth. However She caught Karl Roves attention and had several children in an illicit affair. Mr. Rove refused to acknowledge the children or pay child support. Thus Mother Hubbarsd cupboards were bare. However follwing a lengthy congressional investigation inot possible criminal charges against Mr. Rove for violation of Title 50, his delinquent child support obligation was discovered.

Based on the settlement proceeeds and the subsequent tall-all book, I am pleased to inform you that old Mother Hubbard went to LA, Had extensive plastic surgery and is now a definite hotty, playing Britney Spears Mother in an upcoming Oliver Stone film about the Andrew's Sisters.

Dear Jake,

So much attention is being paid to Mr. Rove. Won't Dick Cheney feel left out? How do we cheer Dick up?

Signed,
Just Wondering in Texas

Well a little fondling from the right person in the right way will give dick a bit of backbone!

I figured that dick just needed to get together wif bush n dick would be feelin all bettah!

Ooops... did I say that outloud?

Hi Jake, first time caller, long time listener...

Do you think it is actually possible to cheer Dick Cheney up at all, and if it is possible, would his face crack?

Why didn't lil miss muffet just squish the spider?

What's the answer to the world, the universe and everything? Know the answer - just checking if you do

Alexa

Welcome to the Show Ktaadn and thanks for reading.

I do think it is possible to cheer Dick Cheney up-he just needs to stop worrying about his affair with the white house intern. And really if his face cracks as a result of this, well Mother Hubbard knows a great plastic surgeon.

Because Miss Muffet is a smart girl. She knows that if she kills the spider she is a modern, empowered woman. However as a modern empowered woman, Miss muffet knows that running to prince charming and having him kill the spider will make him feel like he is protecting her, and thus empower him (she read Dr. Laura's book you see). Also she knows that if he feels empowered, he might be so pleased he does not notice how much her new Manolo's cost. New Manolo's were important to Miss Muffet because every woman deserve great shoes after being frightened by a spider and empowering her husband.

42.

But you gotta ask all the right questions for the answer to make sense.

Why DOES it sound like that when doves cry?

Maybe I'm just 2 demanding
Maybe I'm just like my father 2 bold
Maybe you're just like my mother
She's never satisfied (She's never satisfied)

Because doves crying is a painful sound for Prince?