Insult Me for New Year's Good Luck.

In the spirit of Festivus:

This is the thread where you can insult me for good luck. Doing the wrong thing never felt so right, did it?

Lindens: PLEASE IGNORE ALL PERSONAL INSULTS ABOUT ME THAT APPEAR IN THIS THREAD.

Most cutting and/or humorous insult gets a shiny nickel.

you're not worth insulting

That post is written by something that is so stupid, if I took its tiny brain and rolled it down the edge of a razor blade, it would be like a lone car going down a six lane highway. Just as the strength of a solitary brick will not save a poorly built structure, your bold typeface does not redeem your craven incoherent words.

It's just as well you can type, for if you had to speak your mind, you'd be speechless. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself on the Internet. Well, you're certainly thoughtless; I just wish that you were keyboard-less, too. To quote Thomas Brackett Reed: "They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge."

You light up a room when you leave it. No doubt your life is so dull, that you can actually write your diary one week in advance. Looking at you, Darwin would NOT be pleased to see how inefficiently evolution sometimes works. Maybe you wouldn't read like such a pathetic loser if your brain cells weren't on the Endangered Species list; if your weren't so fat that all the restaurants in town have signs that say: "Maximum Occupancy: 80 Patrons OR You.", or if your face wasn't the strongest form of natural contraception available. Who am I kidding? You would.

In future, if you have something to say, just shut up.

I don't insult or humiliate for free.
That will be a $1.99 per minute.
Thank you very much.
LOL

Windows ME was one of Microsoft's biggest mistakes ever.

I've got more! ^_^


Thanks for your contribution, but if I had wanted to hear from somebody with your IQ, I'd be at my local supermarket talking to the vegetables. If you're going to say something that ignorant, you could at least fake a stroke. Reading your post makes blindness a wonderful thing to look forward to.

The Anti-Moron™ software on my PC went crazy when I started to read your post. Wouldn't clues have more room to fit in your head if you got rid of some of the gobbledygook in there? However, I'll consider letting you have the last word if you guarantee it will be your last.

I used to think that you were a gibbering idiot. Now, after reading your latest post, I have a much lower opinion of you. You couldn't get a clue during clue mating season in a field of clues if you smeared your body in musk and did the clue mating dance. Oh well, at least you only charge what your free advice is worth.

If brains were gasoline, you wouldn't have enough to run an ant's go-kart around the inside of a donut. You could type every thing you know on the subject on back of a microscopic postage stamp and still have room leftover for a shopping list. You've got a big hole in your head, now shut it. When you are at a loss for words, your loss is our gain

Here's a tip: no one will ever know that you've had a lobotomy if you wear a wig to hide to the scars; stop posting your drivel on message boards, and learn to control the slobbering. Does your train of thought have a caboose?

I love Random Insult Generators. ^_^ Disqualified from getting the shiny nickle, but at least I get a quick laugh between work.

And you were one of your parent's biggest mistakes ever.

Oh, wait, I insulted the wrong party. Sorry. Just got caught up in the flow, y'know?



P2

Your mother was a hamster andyou reek of ELDERBERRIES!

Chance,

Just thought you should know:

The missing discs and CD are actually in the backseat of MY car. Your girlfriend left them behind. I'll get those back to you ASAP.

No.

<hugs Chance>

ooooooh. Assless pants. Yep, I am still fixated.

This post is funny because I don't understand it. It's as if Eris was speaking through you.

The stroke and the ant go-kart comments killed me. You'd've had that shiny nickel if it wasn't from the random quote generator.

And yes, I'll really mail the funniest or most cutting person a nickel if they are willing to give me an address to mail it to. That's a RL nickel! WoW!

Not enough! lol
You want insults and humiliation, it costs $1.99 per minute.
On a side note someone remind me please to not respond to post or be redundant when I am drinking wine, lol.

Translation:

You voted for Richard Nixon because you thought his dog was cute...

That insults on so many levels it should be enshrined.

O lilliterate loiterer!

(thanks to the bard)

Q: WHAT DO YOU WANT?
M: Well, I was told outside that...
Q: Don't give me that, you snotty-faced heap of parrot droppings!
M: What?
Q: Shut your festering gob, you tit! Your type really makes me puke, you vacuous, toffee-nosed, maloderous, pervert!!!
M: Look, I CAME HERE FOR AN ARGUMENT, I'm not going to just stand...!!
Q: OH, oh I'm sorry, but this is abuse.
M: Oh, I see, well, that explains it.
Q: Ah yes, you want room 12A, Just along the corridor.
M: Oh, Thank you very much. Sorry.
Q: Not at all.
M: Thank You.
(Under his breath) Stupid git!!


Keep the nickel. I wouldn't want to take a whole day's salary from you. I don't know how you have the stamina for it, waiting in men's lavatories all day. It's a vital public service that you provide, and you should be proud. Don't believe what your father says: You have great technique.

I read recently that Festivus is actually starting to catch on. I need to get myself a shiny metal pole. Can i borrow your wife's, or is she working the center stage tonite?

Your mother wears combat boots.

Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?

Happy New Year, Ball-rest.

XD

Yiddish insults!

You should have a large store, and whatever people ask for you shouldn’t have, and what you do have shouldn’t be requested.

Your teeth should fall out except one to make you suffer.

You should be transformed into a chandelier, to hang by day and to burn by night.

You should crap blood and pus.

Hang yourself with a sugar rope and you’ll have a sweet death.

I see no Yiddish.

A groys gesheft zol er hobn mit shroyre: vus er hot, zol men bay im nit fregn, un vos men fregt zol er nisht hobn.

Ale tseyn zoln bay im aroysfaln, not eyner zol im blaybn oyf tsonveytung.

Migulgl zol er vern in a henglayhter, by tog zol er hengen, un bay nakht zol er brenen.

Er zol kakn mit blit un mit ayter.

Heng dikh oyf a tsikershtrikl vestu hobn a zisn toyt.