Modesty and ethics

Hi all, I'm fairly new to SL (started on 4/1. Anyway I got my First Land and made a little cottage and was inside it the other day trying on all the freebie clothes in my inventory so I could get rid of the ones I didn't want. As I was in "Editing Appearance" mode, I was zoomed in tight on my avatar and not really paying attention to anything else.

So eventually while getting a better look at some pants I swiveled the view, and saw someone sitting on a cushion on the floor of my cottage. I don't know how long he'd been there. He didn't announce his entrance. My front door has a scripted greeting, but there is a back entrance with no door (I'm low on available prims and have little building experience).

Anyway I greeted him and he was OK at first, though later proceeded to make comments on how hot my av was and whether I was male or female because only men would take the time to make such a good-looking av (?!?)

I didn't consider this harrassment exactly, but I thought it was a bit creepy to silently watch me getting changed inside my house, even if the cottage didn't have a back door. I mean, I wouldn't just walk into someone's house either in SL or RL, whether they had a door or not. My neighbor even complained that my tower was looking into his windows, which was totally unintentional (I placed it to get the best view of the horizon). But I don't know the culture here. Thoughts?

No guy should be entering your rear entrance uninvited. He was out of order.


* Moved to Sandbox *

I would have shot him banned him and Abuse Reported him

That's definitely creepy and uncalled for. Don't let it get to you, the creepy people are generally few and far between. You might want to make a small skybox for changing and examining clothes, if you can spare a few prims; doesn't need to be elaborate, just a room at a high altitude that passersby can't easily fly to. You can even set a landmark at that spot, so you can go right there without having to use a teleporter that other people could find. Or, just get together with a female friend or two to check out clothes, and one of you can keep watch for strangers. Good luck, and welcome!

Thanks. It's not a matter of me caring whether people see my av in various states of undress; I've been nude in my hot tub in full view on my front lawn. It's just coming in unannounced and sitting there silently watching that has the creepy aspect to it.

Abuse report the perv immediately, mute and ban him from your property. Behavior like this is unacceptable.

Even if you ban him from your land, he could probably pan with his camera to peek. The only way around that is to build a small skybox for privacy. And if that isn't enough, buy a security orb.

I have a personal security HUD attachment that tells me who's within range of me so I can see names along with the green dots. If I chose, I could put names on the HUD's "enemy" list and push them away from me. It's a pretty nice attachment to have, even if just for your own information.

Am I the only one that giggled at the innuendo here?

I wouldn't worry about it. There isn't any privacy in SL.

There is no privacy in sl. Unless you have a private island and have it on lock.

Nope

Oh, and that is a bit creepy!

I think you could had filed an Abuse report on him

Remember, thats assault with a scripted obect. You just opened the door for them to abuse report you for hitting them with push. Its also ridiculously easy to foil.

happened to me. once. shothim and i blew his ass 4 sims over. banned him . then reported him. he cant ar you for shooting him. as he was. being a prevert.

Just set your land to "not safe" first, then shoot him. That is what I do. Nothing they can report you for then

Being a land owner gives you legal options to remove him, though. Eject amoung others.

Not sure if this incident violates the ToS to enable an AR to be generated, but it is damn rude!

I would be happy to show you where and how to setup land and low priced security for your land (also legal to use items and scripts). I would also be happy to help you with your prim allocation. There are many tricks to builds that are not apparent at first.

~Jesyy

Thanks again all for your replies. I think as the intruder was also a fairly new player that blasting him with a shotgun or immediately filing an abuse report may have been a bit much. (The name "Ahimsa" means "nonviolence" after all!) However, now that I understand that this behavior is inappropriate, I will warn people accordingly if it happens again, and see about putting up some kind of scripted door on the other side of my cottage.

As I mentioned, I don't mind people seeing my av undressed when I choose to display her in the open that way. I just think it is rude to come in and sit right next to someone in what is clearly a residential house without saying so much as hello.

I'm far too modest to discuss my ethics

Going slightly off-tangent... when you enter the edit appearance mode, are all changes you do being shown in world 'as you work' i.e. clothes change, sizes change etc... or do people only see the initial state you were in when the mode was activated, and then the final effect, after you hit the close button?

Kind of presumed it's the latter... but if it's not... oi o.O;

I'm pretty sure it's the former, because once when I was still on Help Island I was trying on something in Edit Appearance and suddenly somehow became completely naked, and a helper came over real quick to tell me it was a PG sim (even though it was unintentional and I had suited up by the time he told me)

Gah. thought immediate updates like that only happen when you put on/take off things through the right-click on items in the inventory... because saw people quite a few times with the 'editing appearance' tag but not going through any look changes until they're done >.<

Maybe you're right; I could have been clicking and/or dragging on the clothes in inventory, but I thought that I was too new to know how to do that yet

If it's your land, you can eject him. But DON'T use a push item to do it. That's considered abuse. Use ejectfromland.

I do think it's interesting how people so easily toss aside common courtesies with the concept that they're only in a game. (I understand and respect that many people see it as just a game please please please not getting into that argument) But I don't think the idea that people have a right to certain levels of privacy should be tossed out just because it's so easy to take it away from them.

I'm certainly not what you'd call modest with my AV either. Hell, any one been in a naked dance contest lately? lol But the privacy issue here is that this is your private property. If you don't know you're supposed to knock and introduce yourself then maybe you should turn off the computer, get out of the basement and go refresh your memory on a few social graces.

To the OP, honestly in that situation I would have been a whole lot less polite than you were. My response pretty much would have been, "Get the hell out." You must be a much more patient person than me.

And yes it's creepy, but more than that, it's pathetic. How big a loser would someone need to be to get a thrill out of peeping on a cartoon woman? My guess would be the kind of loser who doesn't have to nerve to so much as talk to a real one.

As much as i would LOVE a sim for $1 i have to agree that this is wrong hehe. I cant even afford a sim as of yet. I wan't one too... I have plans in my imagination i can't put out cuz of the high price. The current price of a sim is so high i could actually buy land IRL for almost the same. Probably not as much but still. >.>