True Stories in Customer Assistance

The following is a true story which actually occured to me over the weekend. The conversation has been re-enacted and the names and products changed, but the events are real. I hope that you enjoy - and if you've been in a similar situation - that it brings a smile to your face



Customer: Hello, Jamie?

Me: Hello

Customer: Hi. I bought the Acme Atomic Bomb a couple months back and I've changed my mind about it. I no longer require it. Here, I am returning it to you and expect a refund.

Me: Sir, I'm sorry to inform you that it is customary for you to ask for a refund within 48 hours or so.

Customer: Look, I've changed my mind. Give me my money back. I need it to buy a new mech avatar outfit.

Me: I'm afraid the item is no transfer, so even if I gave you a refund, there is no way that I could tell if you truly deleted it or not.

Customer: If you don't give me a refund I'm going to abuse report you and tell Linden Labs.

Me: (Trying hard to contain incredulty) There's no reason to threaten me. Nothing illegal has happened.

Customer: GIVE ME MY MONEY BACK OR YOULL BE SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: I don't appreciate your tone or attitude. Look, you've had the product for 3 months now - the time for returning it has long passed.

Customer: Your customer service sucks.

Me: Have a nice day.

You go, Jamie!

You are my no-transfer / no-refund policy hero for the day!

Well, after 3 months - that is a little long to be asking for a refund.

Sheesh.

Yeah. People in RL are like that too.

I work technical support for a software company. Customers (who own their company) will call, complain about a debilitating bug (i.e. their $100/hr tech screwed something up) and they don't want to get support from me, they want US to pay HIM to get his $100/hr tech out there to fix it.

Now that's just too rich. I can hear the vein in their foreheads throbbing when I politely tell them it's their fault, not ours.

I mean, I respect them and all, but if they disrespect me I'll give it right back.

This use to happen to Asri and I, ALOT... people would buy a "sexy" or "formal" outfit or whatever... and go to some events trying to win contests, then after the event asked for a refund because they no longer needed it... people like this is what made us begin the no refund / 24 hour exchange policy!

See a lot of people prescribe to the "customer is always right" philosophy even when they are wrong...dead wrong. I, however, do not prescribe to this mentality, never have and never will. I will help the customer out within reason and when they are being as imbecilic as that... hell no. I worked in retail for a couple of years and you wouldn't believe the things people would try to return and way after any time restrictions and in various conditions... I've seen people try and return air refreshener... bathing suits.... a backpack with no tags and no receipt... none for any reasons being defective merchandise.

I'll take any story about customer service from a freebie thief / re-seller with a couple huge grains of salt, thank you very much.

Regards,

-Flip

I love the fact that they just decided they needed the money to buy something else - and no longer "required" it. LOLZ!!

Can't you just enjoy a good story without grinding your axe? Christ almighty. Get a life, already.

Laugh!!!!

I have one!! This one is really fun!!



Customer: Excuse me, I bought an item from somebody and I've recently found out that you actually give the item away for nothing.

Me: Oh dear, can you not get a refund?

Customer: No.

Me: Oh I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do about it.

Customer: You suck!

Me: Bye



Hilarious eh?

I find it's easier to just kill them and take all their money. Sure it's unethical but that's capitalism!

I buy a lot of things I no longer require, but have never had the audacity to try and return and demand my money back for. A person with that type of mentality would probably return their childrens clothes after they outgrow them because they no longer require them.

Maybe you should have explained to the person if they were interested in renting the item that for 3 months it would cost something close to the equivalent of owning it.

Sadly, that's not nearly anything close to an isolated case. I've had people demand refunds for my free items, 1 dollar houses, and free textures, because they bought them somewhere else from a freebie-reseller. :/ Uh, no. Go to the thief who charged you money for a free item they didn't even make, and demand the money back from them. I've mostly stopped this by making my freebies no transfer, but of course I don't do that with Textures, because they'd be useless to legitimate creators without full perms.

One of the more humorous customer-service situations I've been in was someone making a request for an outfit I made to be shaded a different color. I reshaded it, uploaded, remade the outfit, and then told her the cost would be the same as the original outfit. She not only didn't want to pay for it, but she wanted me to give it to her with Full Perms so she could sell it, because it was her idea...

Sometimes I get people angry at things not working right on Taco Island.

Wow, that's...

The only thing I've got on that level is a casino owner once demanded I sell them a full perm copy of my games (scripts and all) so that he could integrate it with his camping chairs He promised not to resell them, you see. He got mad when I said no, and was like 'You can't be making that much money off them anyway...' I then told him I'd be happy to sell him full perm copies as soon as I had his name on a contract approved by my lawyer. His response was 'What? You mean a real REAL LIFE document? You're insane!'

Awwwwww
Use the Vengefull aspect of The Oven Mitts on them.

Woot! I think I married that one! Bot was always a sharp cookie with the customers and coworkers, and some of her stories matched this pretty close.

<walks off snickering>

Grind meat of Jamie + Huge grains of salt = Capitalistic hamburger?

Great story, Toy; made me chuckle. Thanks!

My favourite customer service story was when I politely reminded someone that his rent was overdue for his vendor space (only $100L/month back then). He indicated that he wasn't making money on his products and because of that I should give him space for less money. I told him if he couldn't afford $100L per month, he needed to seriously think about product enhancement.

To his credit, he then asked "How?" and I gave him a few pointers. Now he pays $200/month without complaint.

How do you say no to someone who wants a refund on an atomic bomb?

Very, very carefully.

Hahaha

Here's one for ya. I used to work in computer techsupport for a small time computer store. I came into work and started getting to work. My boss was sitting there playing Everquest as usual after swearing at a busted old pc that had some nasty virus on it so he put it to the side for his partner to look at it when he gets in.

Well the customer walks in talking on the phone with his wife and asks about the computer. My boss replies, "Yeah its gonna take a bit longer then expected, don't worry I got a specialist coming in." Not even a second later the owner of the computer I was working on walks in. The other customer turns to the new person in the room, his jaw drops and he says to his wife on his cellphone, "Honey.. they called in a priest..." There he was, a catholic priest wearing all black with the white colar.

I just turned to my boss, "Wow, its that bad huh Jim?"

The priest just smiled and walked over to the guy's computer. Out of no where he pulls out his bible, turns a few pages, and begins reciting the right of exorcism on the PC. Funniest thing we ever saw. What made it better was that the computer started to work with us after that.

You may just win today's internet.

Oh yes.i love when makers don`t support broken products!......gesh there are a few of those makers still running around. and crying to others people are abusing them with returns. Not all but they are still around. But to buy a bomb and then return it? well thats a bit of a strange one.