socializing in second life

first off, i'm new to SL. everywhere i seem to go, people are silent. there can be a crowd of twenty people and nobody saying a thing. not a single person has introduced themselves to me, and i'm not sure what the etiquette is when meeting people in SL. i've been to newbie areas and people are just as unfriendly. i think this is why people grief; to find something socially stimulating to do in SL. i know i'm exagerating a bit, but the social aspects of SL seem to have passed me by.

any thoughts? am i completely wrong?

I agree completely.. But than again I do not initiate a conversation usually.
But there are events you can go to, I just keep doing that and I am slowly, let me say that word again slowly, meeting ppl.

It's possible you walked into a crowd of what are known as campers. Basically, they're not there (afk), just running on automatic to make the place look popular in return for a few L$.

Try introducing yourself and see who answers.

Now I'll admit that there are many times that I sit in a place (usually the club I work at) for long periods of time and not say a whole lot... Thats mostly because I have an IM window that goes the width of my screen. As muc as possible, I try to greet everyone that comes in a room... I even have started up random conversations with people I run into while shopping. Which I do because I enjoy meeting new people LOL... Feel free to IM me in game and I'd be happy to friend ya

I always offer greetings to anyone that comes by The Art Gallery or Filthy McNasty's Irish Pub in Juanita. I do this for a few different reasons.

1. I am friendly, and as such, I want to make people feel welcome at my establishments
2. This gives me a chance to see if the person showing up is browsing - actually looking for conversation - or just there to cause trouble
3. I always enjoy meeting new people... The friends that I have met here are some of the greatest people I know in or out of SL!

I welcome all to come by The Art Gallery and Filthy McNasty's in Juanita for a friendly conversation anytime I am in world!

I'm the same way Kahlan, some people say I never shut up as I'm chatty as hell. The only time I'm not chatting is when I'm cleaning out my inventory or trying to find something in it, and usually that is preceeded by the words "hey guys look at this!" and then chaos ensues

Especially if they are all sitting in chairs, they are probably campers.

But, they can be talking, you just can't "hear" them, they are using IM's.

I think it's kind of rude if it isn't necessary and they are together in a social place, but that is what some people do.

I find you need to be outgoing and just go up and talk to people in SL to socialize, other people can be shy, too. Hang out at newbie places like the Shelter, you will meet people there. Look for it in under places in "find". (Or is it "search" yet?)

OMG I've soooo done that! I get people telling me it'd save me a bundle of time and trouble if I just typed in part of the name in the search option... Problem is I can never remember the names of anything I buy so I end up trying on or tossing down a few dozen things before I find it

Often people are IMing or just plain not there.

If you go to a public location and see people, just jump in and give a holler. If you are wandering on "private" land, ie someone's virtual house, people can be a bit more closed.

People aren't all bad. Say hi if you see me around.

My guess is, you just haven't found the right places to hang out yet.

At the risk of constantly promoting the same SL location, I can highly recommend the Blarney Stone pub in the Dublin sim. Wonderful place, full of laid back, chatty, engaging people - a good mix of newbies and long-time residents. Look it up. There's three social gatherings a day - morning coffee, afternoon craic, and either live or live-DJ-hosted music every night. There's a terrific atmosphere in the Blarney - people respect each other, like each other, and the conversation is always engaging. Just like a real Irish pub, IOW.

Beyond that, I've found the simplest way to meet people is to simply introduce yourself. As you travel around the world - shopping, visiting different clubs, sandbox areas, other games - just try saying 'Hi' to a few people.

Some of them - just as in RL - will choose to be asshats and either not respond or be unnecessarily unpleasant. Others (the majority, I hope) you’ll at least be able to get a conversation going with – and in my experience in SL, you’ll find conversations to be rather more interesting than the usual ‘ASL’ crap.

Another good thing to check out if you’re seeking the warmth of human company and a little light entertainment would be some of the Tringo/Slingo areas. I can recommend IceDragon’s Playpen Island – especially when Melissa Kamloops is hosting (yay! Melissa!). Always an interesting crowd, always plenty of good-natured ribaldry, and you might even make a few L$$ if you happen to win a game

In my first couple of weeks in SL, I hung out at the IceDragon Tringo games a lot – met some great people, had some *very* entertaining conversations, got positively rated for the first time, and learned some of the unstated basics of SL etiquette without making any terrible faux pas.

One last suggestion – if this kind of thing appeals to you – would be to check out Triana Caldera’s music trivia game every Sunday night at 7pm SLT. Well worth it – I haven’t been for a few weeks, but always have a blast there.

Final thought: check out the event listings. Try to ignore the spam; look for things like live music events or other unique occasions. To socialize, you want to throw yourselves into places where people are naturally feeling and being social.

Give it time. You’ll find your SL groove. If all else fails, IM me in world, and I’ll be happy to show you around a bit and introduce you to some of the motley nutjobs who make up my circle of friends.

Hope this helps.

I know how you feel.. I'm not too new myself that is.. but I do find that when I go to events and shops. I really hate it when the host or owner *if the person is busy I understand.. but thats not usually the case* doesn't greet the people that are there.. makes a person feel not welcome.

Now if I'm hosting an event I make sure to ignore my IMs unless its a question from someone... I agree its rude to be running something that is designed to bring people in and then not speak to any of them

Very very ture!
I know when I do host an event, I make sure that I great everyone and try to get them involved in whats going on at the event

I've made tons of friends just by chatting in stores and clubs so its not hard at all. Just say Hi, and don't run off right afterward since the people around might be IMing....give them a sec to respond and you might be rewarded.

If you see somebody in something you haven't seen before ask them where they got it, or tell them it looks nice, its really easy to start up a conversation here, my theory is most of us here just wanna sit and chat lol.

I would totally have to second taking the time to stop by the Shelter if you are new and looking for friendly and fun people. It's really one of the only places I hang out and that's due to everyone being so friendly and helpful. They have alot of events and even game shows to help out with a few L's in your pocket. They look after the place really well and always have someone to watch over what goes on there. The Blarney Stone sounds really interesting to me and I will have to check it out soon. There are alot of really nice people in SL, and there are some that just like in school have their clicks and don't want to have anything to do with others. I have found that most people are friendly if you just say hi and start a conversation with them though.

thanks for the replies. i'll definitely check out the shelter, the blarney stone, and the art gallery.

i'll message the people who offered as soon as i sober up and SL is back online if it isn't already.

Thank you all for your posts!

It definitely beats having to use Find over and over, and never Finding much in the end anyway.

Sigh. You know it's bad when you end up meeting all your friends in-world in the Forums first, rather than in-world...

lol... yeah that is bad =P
But one way to make friends that for sure.

I typically like to try and break the ice at places that are a bit quiet, that tends to help a lot. You really just gotta look around, some places are more social than others. If you're looking for fun stuff to do or just someone to chat with (and this goes for ANYONE here), feel free to send me an IM. I do a lot of club hopping or just all around hanging out, since I primarily use SL to keep a very social life online, as well as mix trance music live for different clubs.

"Hello!" is always a good starter

If you don't mind scantly clad ladies, come to the Barbie Club, there's usually someone there, I've had some really good conversations when it's just me up on the stage and a few customers... tell them Purrdence sent you! ;p

*looks innocent* I'll vouch for the 'never shut up!' But it's always good times.

I try to respond if I'm camping, even. If I don't respond, forgive me. Sometimes I'm working on a texture in another program and don't see a chat until hours after I get back. Sometimes I also don't respond if I'm building.. believe me, you wouldn't want me to at that point either. I've been told that I am very entertaining in my cursing, but most sandboxes are PG

Feel free to IM me as well, especially if you enjoy watching someone's sad attempt at building their first home or want to see my new katana, which I will buy tonight. ^.^

(I'm often on late, EST, though)

OK now I'm making a list of all the people in this thread that I'm going to friend when I get in the game... So don't forget bout lil ol me when you get a crazy random IM from me in game

Well just don't forget to say where you got our name from, so we don't think you're some random troll.

LOL, well, you can IM me anytime... but don't get offended if I've forgotten, and ask who you are