SL Devil's Dictionary

Alright, as many of you know, I tend to answer a LOT of questions inworld from various people, many of them beginners.

So with that in mind, this is for the new residents. Yes, for those who barely dare to ask, I'm going to cut straight to the answers.

Oldbies, enjoy, and feel free to add on others I haven't covered.



Without further ado, I bring you: The SL Devil's Dictionary!

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Noob: Someone new and foolish enough to follow in your footsteps. What starry-eyed fools!

Oldbie: A typically angry soul that demands respect due to the fact they were bored in 2003 and discovered the grid by accident.

Blingtard: Anyone but you. No, not you - really, we mean that. Your idea of a cool club for all your friends is original and cool, we assure you.

FIC (feted inner core): A shadowy group of residents catapulted to fame and power by the service provider. Just a rumour; we do not exist.

Linden: A former resident who got hired by his entertainment venue. Yep, you went on a cruise but now you are wiping vomit off the bar. Congrats!

SLebrity: Someone most real people have never heard of.

Elves, Fairies, catgirls, vampires, furs, and tiny animals: Typically, career-trapped men in their forties.




Teleporting: a momentary darkness that is your first indication that you cannot actually go anywhere.

Classifieds: a means of accessing grid data with very little regard to its actual classification.

Asset Server: That thing which isn't serving you anything.

Land: A place that exists only in your imagination.

The Mainland: Less than 20% of the grid that is neither main, nor really land, when you come to think of it.

Mainland Tier: Pay this fee and you have the *option* of not owning something that isn't really land.

Private Estate: A place to unleash your real personality on others, whilst thinking you are justified in doing so.

Lag: The net result of all your hard-fought efforts to make a difference in this world.

Grid Community: A million people who in general share no common traits, have neither met nor have ever formed a consensus about anything.

Drama: The reason you are here in the first place.

The 'Real World': Just a harbinger of the fact that you would do poorly in the metaverse as well.

This is terrific and now in my bookmarks.

Thanks, Desmond! I have already forwarded this to some folks.

This is priceless.

Well, I won't argue with 'career-trapped,' but I happen to be female and in my 30s.

Very well done Des - certain to be a classic!!

He did say 'typically'

And drop dead gorgeous. We know.

Club (n.): An area where people with unnatural proportions congregate for the purpose of shouting "HOOOOOOOO!" repeatedly for no apparent reason.

Inventory (n.): A list designed to tease you by reminding you what you have paid for, and what you now cannot rez. (See also "BDSM".)

Sunday (n.): A metaphorical period of utter uselessness. "I say, old chap, I can't seem to move around or adjust my lapels!" "Oh, it must be Sunday." (See also "Monday", "Tuesday" et alia.)

JIRA (v.): To shout uselessly at the void.

Ban Line: A conga that only allows someone else's friends.

JIRA: Acronym for Just Ignore Right Away.

Grid Monkey: A really square primate.

[RESOLVED] The service provider employees have left for the day but do not want you to think they have not done anything, so they say it is fixed, until the next shift comes in and does the same thing
repeat ad nauseum (I think I spelled that incorrectly) heh

No Copy: An item of clothing that is useless because you don't dare risk ruining it by editing it.

No Transfer: An item of clothing that you can't give away and never delete because even though it's completely ugly you can't just *throw it away*.

No Mod: An item of clothing that is useless because it can't be edited to fit.

Prim Limit: Whatever land you own will always support at least 50 fewer prims than you need.

Camping: A lifestyle even more boring than Real Life. So boring, in fact, that bots were invented to do the job instead of real people.

Bot: A software program capable of running a Second Life avatar unattended. Bots do better at camping and finding land bargains than campers or land barons, which says something about the intelligence of campers and land barons.

LOL!! we are soooo not worthy...

Stipend: an amount of money paid to people with premium accounts on Tuesdays or Thursdays and sometimes Saturdays, the purpose of which is to convince them to keep quiet about the lack of customer service they receive in return for their premium membership fees.

Vendor: a box with a pretty picture of something you want on it, into which you pay money in a desperate gamble, hoping against the odds that you will actually receive a copy of the item in the picture.

Security Orb: An object placed by landowners on the virtual land that they don't actually own which immediately orbits accidental trespassers after an ample warning time of approximately three nanoseconds. What it is, exactly that security orbs keep anybody secure from is a complete unknown.

Shopkeeper: Someone who works incredibly hard and for many, many hours on a beautiful item that they will sell for pennies and for the right to be subjected to verbal abuse by customers with a false sense of entitlement.

Oh! Oh! Another great avatar idea! *runs off to lab*

Second Life weapon: A device that does not actually exist, and which when fired cannot actually harm anyone. If you use one in a "non combat" area, you may be reported and suspended or banned for the non-harm you have not caused. You will not be able to use your weapon in a "combat" area either, because more skilled participants will not-kill you before you can so much as look around after arriving there.

By all means, go for it!

Mari

Linden Office Hours: A chance for them to RP caring.

QFT Ann - Hey Desmond, not all of us vampires are men either and I am far away from 40 (on the good side hehe). *scowls*

Gee, that one entry seems to be not only outing all the young ladies, but firing them up a little bit as well.

Honestly, won't that invite *more* of the same from the peanut gallery?

grins

Really Desmond, I expect better things of you

I guess sweeping generalisations just bug me - people don't fit in boxes.

sure they do, just need to work better to get them to fit in the small boxes...



O

Building: Something other people do which lets them live in mansions with beautiful gardens while you are stuck with a plywood box or a cottage paid in cash.

Prim Drift: The phenomena whereby prims move tiny distances at regular intervals. Apparantly due to math error, although exactly what math needs to be done for an object at a particular coordinate to remain at that coordinate has never been explained.

Folder: A named group of items, used to save inventory from becoming a random list of disorganised items by instead making it a random list of disorganised folders.

Role-playing sim: Island or archipelago where visitors go on the basis that their "in character" behaviour and choices will be more greatly respected than elsewhere. On arrival visitors are instructed by notecards placed by the owners on what avatars they must use and how they must act.

(Edit: insert requisite denials of being 40, male, or car.. well, ok, maybe I can't deny that one. )

Welcome to second life.......... from the moment you enter you will be faced with a world teeming with people............. yes bots , a few noobs hanging around and standing around.and the rest all on the forums ,so they can chat