I could use some advice

I'm really kind of confused, and I'm to the point where I'm dying to come to someone for help over this.

I don't mean to cause unwanted drama, but like I really need help because I don't know who to contact, and it's to the point where SL itself is not really enjoyable for me anymore.

Ok to skip all the emo junk, and drama.

I ex-mate/partner and his new mate/partner have been harassing me on SL.

Um I have friends in a sim called Drakeal, and decided to wander by myself for a bit. Having come across a good friend, who owns a Military base in Drakeal. He had asked me if I wanted to join his group and I said yes of course. To my knowledge how ever, my ex-mate and his mate were in the group as well.

I know my story is kind of one sided, but I'm 21 years old. I wouldn't be this stressed out about something, and then lie about it. So basically now that I was in this military group, I had payed for a spaceship and the Military owner told me I could put it up in the sky.

So with him and his friends help, we got my ship set up about 100 or so feet above my ex-mate and his mates skybox. I'm pretty sure it is out of chat range from them, and I must note that despite them being there, I've not IMed them or talked to them.

Still being upset over the situation though, I decided to TP a friend over to my new home/ship and we were talking about my ex and his mate, just venting.

Within moments, I was ejected and banned by my ex's mate, because apparently he was invading my privacy with chat spies. I was told Chat spies are illegal to use in SL, and go against TOS.

So after being ejected and banned from the parcel, they both attempted to get me banned from the entire estate aswell by stating I was stalking them.

Again my story may seem one sided, but the fact is. My privacy was invaded, and they have gone too far and against the terms of service of SL.

And to be honest, one of them are under the age of 18. But I don't have proof of that sadly.

The friend that invited me into the group, also owns the parcel but he doesn't want to choose sides and I seem to be banned still. My ex mate, has gone so far as to tell my friend to mute me, because I'm such a terrible person.

In all honesty, I feel like I'm the one being stalked here and harassed. I'm just trying to set things right, and I have logs of what is going on. I've reported them several times, but I fear nobody will at least get back to me or offer me some sort of support.

I really need help, as to what I should do.

I shouldn't have to keep losing friends because of them talking bad about me, and I shouldn't have to live with them chat stalking me either. I'm actually afraid to go to Drakeal now. But my friends are there...

Please help

Yay DRAMA!
First if you suspect anyone of being under the age of 18 and on the main grid you should AR and let the Lindens figure it out.
Second. A whole sim and you set up above your ex’s space?

Setting up above his space wasn't my choice, I should have suggested another spot. But what good would that have done honestly? If this person had chat spies, he would have stalked me anywhere.

Do you think the chat spies were there before you parked your ship above their spot?

My advice is put it behind you and find other friends and a different place to hang out. SL is very big world. No need to keep yourself in a situation that causes drama and pain.

If you don't want to do that, ask your friend who owns the parcel to return your skybox and maybe rent you a parcel in a different part of the sim to set up in.

But I think that's an inferior choice; better to just put it behind you.

No he pretty much stated that he put them there to figure out who I was, which really wasn't any of his business.

Thanks for the advice I suppose, harsh or not it's still advice and will help me along. I should move to another sim and make new friends, but I don't know. I'm nervous. I'm afraid this will happen again in another sim, those two seem to be in a lot of places that I go to.

If I found out the person who placed a ship above my spot is my ex gf, I would think I was the one being stalked.

/Just say’n

I'm with DaQbet......of a whole sim, why there? If you suspect a "chat spy" I would imagine it is something you are wearing......look for it and detach it. If your "friends" decide to side with your ex on this issue then I would reconsider the friendship (actually, their hesitation on taking sides does show you something......they are trying to be true friends by staying out of it). Don't burdon them with your problems by talking about your problems with the ex.....that will turn them against you faster than your ex talking about you. Put your ship/home in another place.......far away from your ex's. Go on with your SL life with whoever you want and ignore the childish gossip (and that means you need to stop that too).

If all that fails, then it might be time for an alt......tell who you want about it but remember people talk.

And, that suspected underager.......AR him/her!! You are not doing anyone any favors by keeping your suspicions to yourself. In fact you are harming every person of legal age in SL by not doing so. This is an adult grid........underaged residents threaten the existance of the entire grid.

And one last bit of advice. Don't get yourself in that situation again. Remember, despite how real it may seem, this is still the internet. Unless you know your SL friends in real life, they can be (and often are) someone else than what they appear to be.

.

I think that your friend that helped you put your spaceship above your ex's home is a dummy. One. It sounds like your ex's mate has parcel control. Two. They helped you set up 100m above your ex's house. That's not high at all.

Find new places and put the drama behind you.

I would get paranoid, too, if my ex parked his house over my head. It doesn't justify spying on you, if that's what they were doing, but it really does look like you were stalking them, whether or not that's actually the case. If nothing else, it'd be a breeze to cam into each others homes - how's that for creepy?

Did it not occur to you that you might be giving entirely the wrong impression? Even just joining their group, given all the other possibilities that the grid has to offer, would make me think "stalker!" And to see your green dot on the map while I'm at home with the new mate would make me want to move to the other side of the grid! Of course, THEY were there, first.

And fingering one of them for being underage will only make it look like you're trying to cause further trouble. Let it go.

I would have thought you were stalking me, if you 'wandered over' joined a group you knew I was in, and parked a skybox above me. Plus, if you have a friend in, and you are discussing something sensitive, you might have wanted to do that in IM.

Your best bet is to stay as far away from them as possible.

AR - for the chat spies and the age thing, and let LL sort it out. And figure out a new place to go. There are at least 40k humans on at peak times, and probably 20k on off peak. You don't have to hang around your ex.

How do you know they used a chat spy?
They might have just used the unrestrained camera controlls to see who was up there and found it was you.
And seeing you up there would easily have been enough to think you were stalking or spying on them.

My advice would be to try not antagonise them (avoid them rather than warring with them), and try to keep your other friends especially the land owner.
If the land owner wants to remain neutral, thats good, he's mature enough to not want to take sides.
Don't make him have to choose sides by causing more drama with your enemy.

But as others have said, SL is huge.

ya Know ppls say SL is huge,
but I find more often it's like the Kevin Bacon game and SL is! a small world afterall.
The problem w/ EXs is well, you probably had a lot or something in common hence why you were involved,
so it is hard some times to not bump into ea other.
100 m, 100 ft, 100 miles? w/e happened you sped up the BS factor,
move on, remember who you are! not what you were w/ them
and don't expect ppls to take sides, they only take their own

I am the Owner of the Drakeal Sims, this problem was taken care of, to what I know that Koryn Writer, contacted me about this when I was offline by a friend that informed me. other than the chat bugs, I pretty much told her and her harasser that to mute each other. further problems can end up in a ban to keep the problem to go any worse, and any other info that was against SL TOS me and my staff contact LL though the AR system.

i thought if u was set up over someone elses place that was called squatting and they are using your prims, is this true?? and if not then what is squatting?

In terms of individually owned Mainland parcels, yes, that's squatting. However, that sort of thing tends to be handled differently on private sims and group owned parcels. Basically, if you don't have the permission of the owner to be there, you're squatting.

I moved my household several sims away from my mainland just to get away from someone who should have known better than to buy adjacent land- yeah- sorry - that's stalking whether it was your original intent or not.

Pick your self up, dust your self off- and move on- life is long and this is just the first of many heartaches down the road kiddo... don't worry- the skin gets tougher.

if i were you, i'd get my money back (if possible), mute the ex and new gf, and go somewhere else.

you'll make new friends.

let it go.

ok ann. but if they are on top of u dont they use your prims even if its allowed on a private sim?? or island

If you own the land, then you own the prims. If someone builds over you, they use your prims.

If you rent from a landlord, then the landlord owns ALL the prims. The landlord rents you some prims, and rents the other person some prims. As long as the landlord has enough prims to cover what each of you has rented, you each have your share of the landlord's prims. It doesn't matter where each of your houses is placed.

If the landlord has rented out more prims than he actually has available, or your neighbor uses more than his share, only then will it interfere with your prims. In that case, it would interfere whether your neighbor was on top of you or at the other end of the sim.

I have to agree with the over all advice of moving away and making new friends. It's really a very simple and straight forward way to handle it. SL is big enough that you should be able to re-establish in another cool community.
I liken this to that small town mentality where every dates everone elses X's and the entire town becomes a cess pool of drama. It's ridiculous and totally unnecessary. The world is a big enough place for all of us....and SL is too. You're young....probably crap like this hits you a bit harder than it does someone who's been a round a bit longer (like me, I'm 40...I don't do drama...I disassociate myself from all the BS) But trust me...this is so trivial and silly....just move on. SL is meant to be fun....it's a place to explore and make new friends...so don't waste any time with this garbage, life is too short.