Official Groundless Rumor Thread - please keep them here

OK - I can't keep up with all the threads and new threads and I have a feeling that the moderators aren't going to be cool with a ton of new threads. In order to track all the ridiculous rumors, please post them here. I'm reposting the message below that I posted in another thread. This really is turning into a fun thing, so I'm totally down with doing more of them. I know the biplane is a goofy prize and 3L amounts to about .01$ US, but it's all in good fun anyway. If you've never flown a biplane, though, I can vouch for the fact that it is a hoot.

Looks like I'm going to have a really hard time judging this one. How about this - Contest ends at 3:00 pm PST today. That's about 4 hours from now. I'll pick two people to help me judge. I'm thinking Brenda and Oryx. I'll post a thread with the winners. It's up to the winners to IM me in SL. I'm usually on late at night - 10:00-12:00 PST. You have to be fairly close to me to get the biplane because of the way I have to transfer it. I promise to wear pants. The 3L will just be paid to you when I get on.

There will be multiple winners. Some of these rumors are just to good to be true.

Any future contests like this that I'm involved in will have their own thread so we don't clutter up the forums. My apologies to the mods.

Linden Lab has no server issues. They are stealing your no copy items and are planning the world's largest yard sale.

Also, Raymond Figtree is actually a dude.

k I have some - News at 11

*Voice chat abolished SL Wide.

*Ginko to pay off its Investors.

*Dan L lives in his momma's basement.

*being ruthed is bad for your health

*virtual cheeseburgers increase your avatars thigh size number

*Phil Linden to have a longue act in Vegas, golden codpiece and all.

*Up is down

*Noboddy really does know what time it is.

I heard that Second Life is expanding to real life. LL just acquired a small commercial printer and will soon start printing paper Linden dollars. (it's got the Ivory tower on the back, and Phillip's mug on the front)

This is bullshit. Half the fun of such a contest is to see who you actually rope into believing your rumor! I already snagged one on the "age verification" one I made!

But here's more...

*LL to outsource customer service to Anshe Chung's Chinese office.

*SL to be governed by residents. Form of government: Theocracy.

*No one actually likes SL rape RP. It was a practical joke initiated by Fransicans that was too subtle for the average SL resident to get.

*Penises in SL are actually realistically sized. You're just smaller than average.

*Philip Rosedale is a renegade Amish guy.

That one I believe.

RUMOR:
===========================
#LL is selling SL to Krispy Kreame. The current infusion of the glazing process is what is causing lag as hundreds of hamsters leave their wheels to indulge in the confectionary delight and power losses throughout San Fransico run rampant as a result.

~Jessy

SL is going to be made into a full length animated feature starring the voice of Bruce Willis as Phil Linden. Dan Linden will be played by a bag of rocks.

I heard there is no spoon.

Dang!

They always pick people cooler interesting than the originals to do the voice overs.

Untrue - I have that poseball. I mean...um..I heard there was a rumor about a poseball that someone had...

They are going to do away with wearing avatars and make Ruth the default shape that everyone has to use.
9.9

I heard someone was about to launch a new camping strategy that will involve a sex-gen bed, a live web feed and Pay per View. Earn Lindens while AFK!!

SL isn't real. You are the only one playing, and we have been filming you the whole time. (Oh, and logging all your IM's.)

Squeeze is right, half the fun is seeing who believes the rumours.

Post new threads AND post them here for Trout to judge aswell

LL will be requiring urine samples to test hormone levels for gender verification, by the way.

OK, this is for Strife:

I've collected all the other rumors into one spot and will paste them here. If you feel a burning desire to close those other threads, now's your chance:

*WARNING* These have all been seen before. I just didn't like bouncing between threads. Please ignore this post if you don't want to read them again.

SqueezeOne Pow: “I head a nasty rumor on the internet that as part of age verification LL will start requiring people to use their RL name for their avs. Also, your av will have your finger prints in an effort to make ARs more efficient.”

Ravanne Sullivan: “As part of age verification you will also be required to give a DNA sample that will be digitized and made part of your Avie.”

Kiboe Munro: “i hear a rumor that LL will do away with text chat and only make it voice, is this true?“

Morwen Bunin: I heard the rumor that all private sims will be deleted and that everyone has to go back to the mainland....

Allison Selene: …They are also going to take away all text based forums and blogs and web pages and make everything on the web pure voice and webcam.

Lindal Kidd: I hear they're going to do away with sex in SL by making everyone Ruth.

Michael Bigwig: I heard on Glen Beck that Bush plans to use Second Life to train American soldiers in foreign relations. If this new project takes off, all those without a dot over there head will be tried for treason.

Qie Niangao: Starting September 1, text chat will be pay-per-word, to help enhance the L$ sinks.

Ketter McAllister: My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw Philip Rosedale pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious.

Isablan Neva: I heard that in the next update our avatars are going to have to sleep and pee, also the economy will be replaced with making pizza.

Bree Giffen: I heard they are working on a tactile feedback device that allows you touch people and feel other people touching you. After that they are coming out with one that allows you to smell other people and for them to smell you. "Bringing all your senses into the virtual world" is the new motto.

Irene LeShelle: I heard that LL has guaranteed that all errors and problems in SL will be fixed once and for all before sunset this upcoming Sunday.

Colette Meiji: I heard a similar rumor. Only the version I heard was they fixed all bugs already - any problems you have now must be your own computer.

Tygarys Soyinka: I heard that Microsoft is going to buy SL, and since they are so impressed with SL's stability, they are going to use it as their next OS, Windows Life.

Mickey James: I heard that they are going to start banning everyone who is the victim of griefing or in-world fraud, to cut down on the complaining.

Mickey James: I heard that CopyBot really did keep running, quietly, and now when we log in we're actually going to a counterfeit SL where every asset has been removed and replaced with an exact replica.

Noam Sprocket: Oooo and if you see a flickering prim that's a flaw in the matrix.

Alexa Susanto: I have a bicycle blimp that you can fly - I heard a rumour from a Linden who shall be nameless (my favourite colour) that LL will be banning flying and all residents will be issued with bicycle blimps upon their arrival on the grid.

Deandra Watts: I heard they're making the ban lines around parcels electrified and if you're typing when you bounce off one your RL hair ends up stuck in your RL ass ...

Conan Godwin: I heard a rumour on the internat that LL will be requesting urine samples to test hormone levels for gender verification.

2K Suisei: I heard a rumor recently that Linden Lab are from outer space. Has anybody else heard anything?

Kevyn Hienke: I heard Phillip Linden's real name was Xenu.

Ceera Murakami: Linden Lab, developers of the virtual world Second Life, has announced that they have sold the LL web forums and the Second Life virtual world to the tabloid magazine "The National Enquirer", for an undisclosed sum of money, said to be in the hundreds of millions of dollars.

Chip Midnight: Crazytown, WA - August 16, 2007 -- Global media conglerate News Corporation today announced that it has purchased all rights to the Second Life avatar, designer, and skin maker Chip Midnight. "We believe this will give us an important foothold in this exciting and burgeoning new medium," said Eileen Dover, News Corp's director of virtual marketing. When asked if the change in ownership would alter the persona of Mr. Midnight, Dover stated. "No. We believe our control of the CMFF brand and Chip Midnight avatar will build upon a trusted name by leveraging our extensive worldwide media expertise without sacrificing the qualities they've become known for." Visit CMFF, for all your American Flag lapel pin needs! Vote Republican! Jesus saves (on every pruchase)!

God has stolen the server code and intends to use it to generate new worlds on the far edge of (un)known space. First, tho, he's hired Nicholaz to make it actually work.

Yikes, so well never see them then.

I heard a rumor that these threads actually lowered Strifes blood pressure..

All Linden employees are required to wear Rose Colored Glasses.

From another thread:

The rest of them:

Wiggy Bingyi: Linden labs are supposedly entertaining the idea of removing the ability for us to sell Linden $ for RL cash.

Brenda Connolly: I heard you have crabs...

Brenda Connolly: Has Dan Linden been let out of his Cubicle again?

Meade Paravane: I heard a rumor that they're going to totally get rid of L$ in SL 2.0.. They're going to be using M$ instead.

Brenda Connolly (prolific, ain’t she?): Instead of $USD you will receive REAL Linden Dollars in the mail, with pictures of various Lindens and selected residents on them. These will be redeemable for all sorts of nifty prizes from the New ESC created LaughingatYou Linden Mall.

Rusty Satyr: I heard this rumour about 5 minutes ago, that Linden labs are supposedly entertaining the idea of selling out to MicroSoft. And that instead of ruthed we'll end up 'clippied' once the default avatar gets changed to an annoying paperclip.

Isablan Neva: I also heard that if LL does sell out to Microsoft, Bill Gates will have an avatar that wears chaps and a sequined cod piece.

@Isablan: untrue. Bill Gates already has an avatar, he is a kajiru in a small camp in one of the plains Gorean sims. Poor guy is tired of always being in charge.

Brenda, clever girl! LOL

OMFG LMAO

I heard a rumor that Ruth is really Ralph!