Introducing a mentally ill person to SL?

I have been in SL for 18 months and am well aware of it's addictive properties and been through the cycle, my 60yo mother who is computer literate has beeen suffering depression over the last 20 years, but in the last 2 years, she's become suicidal,never leaving the house, saying she is bored of life and has no reason to stay alive, just wants to die. She's had all the shock therapy and drugs etc the doctors can poke at her. And now she's just deteriating by the day.
My question is should I introduce her to SL to see if she can make herself an interesting life or at least keep in contact with me better, could it make it worse or have I really got nothing to lose, if it gives her a new reason to live?
Anyone had any experience they can share on this subject?
It's probably going to affect my experience here but it's a small price to pay.

In all seriousness, maybe this question is best posed to a qualified professional.

I'll assume the question is a serious one.

Some people who have emotional disturbances my find virtual reality a decent substitute for real life interaction, when real life social interaction is not possible. But for other people, it could be just as bad or worse.

I would recommend that you don't play armchair therapist with your mother. This is the kind of thing to discuss with a therapist or psychologist.

I'll add that when I've known of people who have tried to use virtual communities for therapeutic purposes, it was in the context of support groups composed of people who could be sympathetic to, patient with, and supportive of the the person's needs. My guess would be that a professional might tell you that she'd be better off with a virtual support group rather than something like the general SL community (if such virtual socialization is recommended at all.)

But don't take guesses with something serious like this. Ask a professional.

Only you know your mother. Is she the kind of person who would appreciate SL? Has she been the artsy, imaginative type of person? If so it might be good for her, but no way to tell.

No one can answer this accurately.

I dunno, with all the problems in SL it may just make her worse.

Seriously!

This is so delicate. I am not sure even a professional is qualified- lest they are in SL.

To the OP: Contact me if you like, I am willing to discuss this with you.

And yes, I am a professional therapist.

My answer would be to ask a professional. But honestly, considering the kind of drama queens that inhabit this place, would you want to let her run around in SL unsupervised?

I remember something that showed happy people had happy SL experiences, while people unhappy with life had matching SL unhappiness, so maybe don't expect too much?

Please IM me if you like. I am both a long time SL resident and a therapist (MSW).

perhaps she should be relocated to live with you, or you with her. then you could keep a better eye on her, and even involve yourself with her on a level that rejuvenates her.

perhaps consulting a professional about different ways to respark her interest in life again?

if she's as depressed as you've described, she might not even be willing to put any energy into it. but with you at her side, she might get a little twinkle in her eye about it.

i have no advice really, but send *hugs* and support to you both. best.

Thanks all, I guess I fear we will loose her soon unless we try something, she may even have no interest in it, it may cause more emotional drama for her. So I wasn't to bounce the idea before speaking to her doctor, it's a big case of empty nest, spent her life raising 5 kids who all have our own families now, dad still workaholic, so never around and can't deal with it either. She's had no hobbies or interests at all unfortunately....... :/

Halstrom, just like you can't control what your adult children do, so can you not control what your parents do.

hang in there.

I believe there are support groups in SL for people with depression...
and for some of us SL is quite fascinating. I'd say it's an idea worth investigating.
My best wishes and hopes go out to you.

Agree that you should seek professional opinions but did want to add some observations.

Some people who can not interact with the people around them in RL have had good expiriences here. I am 50 years old and when I found SL I had been seriously ill for 2 years and unable to work. Can't say I was suicidal but I was seriously depressed for obvious reasons. I quickly learned I could do so much more then I previously thought possible, building, texturing, scripting and also made some freinds. It helped so much to talk to others, even if through virtual avatars. The discussion were still real. It helped me get through a really rough time and even thou I have recuperated and have regained a RL, I still help others here. Went from knowing nothing to helping others learn scripting everyday in these very same forums. Not bad for an "old" person and my self esteem went from zero to hero!

Yes there is drama here and some people who play really bent games with others. But there are also a lot of good people and good conversations to be had. And it surely doesn't hurt that the face you show to the world isn't the same unattractive, weary face that stares back at you in the mirror. Kind of feels good to have an attractive, young body again, even if it is virtual and even if your freinds know how old you really are!

I say get advice from the therapists ^

I'm a bipolar psychotic schizophrenic myself & SL helped me as far as learnin how to "play nice" & develop some better social skills...course w/ the client crashin every 5 minutes, I suggest u use the Nicholaz Edition patch instead so she won't blow up outta frustration.

There are a lotta sick folks on the Grid. I woulda got my momma on SL except I ended up kickin her outta my spot for tryna get me locked up on a fake felony but the judge threw the case out.

It might help distract her for a bit or a long while,
but she'll still be depressed.
The question is, is SL and you! ready for her to join?

I do understand that art can be incredibly healing, and others here (particularly FD Spark) can attest to that. I just worry that she is in such a delicate state, that bringing her to SL may not be wise. On the other hand, it can be brilliant if she has an artistic streak and the aptitude to build. It's a really tough call. I would hate for SL to get her down at all.

I know at least 2 people with mental disabileties in SL both are authistic and one has several other mental isues as wel.
Both happen to be child av's but doubt that all people in SL with mental disabileties are child av's.

For autistics with limited spoken language skills SL gives them a way to have a social life even if it is limited to a virtual world.

Yep I can attest it has helped me.
I have been chronically ill for years even too ill really be able at first play in beta in 2003
Beta years were really hard, overwhelming and lonesome I only played 12 times then.
But I have always been creative person, so SL sort of called me back.I was wanting to die about two years ago did the research was investigating final exit strategies because I was so much in pain,etc and very depressed.
Distraction is good thing when your life is hellish, yet hard part is limiting the inner
hell of one's first life to be carried over to your Second Life, and not spreading the misery to whomever you met when you're depressed.
If I get to drained I am literally not able to create for weeks and I have experienced this several times here.
For me it is personally understandable to be so depressed and needy that it follows you in every reality even here that you exist.
If unwanted type of people show up here around me except here I can mute them.
There has been many time I wish I had a mute button for my own thoughts and words within me that prevent me to do what I really love to do.
Sometimes when illness mixed with depression is so severe its hard literally to
do anything including taking on new challenges or even interacting with others that don't involve the depression.
SL has gave me opportunity to find accepting people, acceptance of myself and
some degree of time out away from being depressed, ill, or whatever disabled
labels one might including myself focus on in my first life yet it does
sneak in whole lot.
Big thing is whether or not I can put my illness on shelf for period of time
create something like a shirt when I really want to curl up in ball in pain in
my first life.
Some days truthfully I can't and I found how to manage those days personally
to some type of degree without burdening those who have grown to love me here.
SL can be very overwhelming and even more so if you're very depressed.
I definitely have had my bad days here but they also been rewarding too.
I find when I focus on creating and enjoying process its healing for me.
When I get caught up in crap though here it can be hard but that is life, sometimes poop happens.
SL gives me new things to focus on and learn, create.
Sometimes though it can be very overwhelming and stressful if you got severe physical
or emotional issues going on in background.

I am not much into therapist personally they never been able to really good
at healing personally.
I get more with creating, having good experiences, etc then any type of therapy
or anti-depressant prescribed.
As far Op's mom. it up to her but here are some questions she should
consider below.
I remember at one point being in such dark place where a Girlfriend suggested
I get hobby years ago and I thought she was insulting and putting me down.
Is your Mother's depression so severe if you suggested a hobby would she
consider it a put down?
Would you Mother be willing or able to use her Second Life for growth and new experiences?
Can she set boundaries for her self, in regard if something happens can she keep herself emotional safe if something unpleasant shows up in her second life, will this make her depression worse?
Or can it be growing experience for her?
Is she capable of finding things here she is interested in or creative things
to do while she is here?
If she can't she may not find being here helpful.

Yet with right fit in friends and activities it can be very pleasant and healing too.
I have met some nice people it didn't happen right away and I was pretty lonely.
I would still probably be very lonely and bored even here if I wasn't very
creative.
SL has helped me and lot of people but it won't and can't fill up all the holes
that any type of illness or real life trauma, depression may cause.
It just fun creative distraction where I get to make cool things, a long the
way I got to met some very interesting people who I would never met in my real
life who shared their knowledge or tried too.

I can't give any professional advice or even speak from experience. I do know clinical depression is a terrible illness though and it must be worth exploring all possibilities with your mother and her doctor/therapist. SL has helped many people, including myself, through some very hard times - so maybe you could seek a good moment to talk your mother about it and show her SL? If only from the point of view that she is someone that matters and you really want to share with her.

Talk to the profs, and talk with her.

If you all decide to do it, be prepared to spend a bunch of time with her in SL. It can take time to get on your feet here, to start building yourself a community. I've known two people who were depressed shut-ins who blossomed after getting involved with MMOs (one DAoC, the other with WoW.)

I've got ptsd issues. On those days when being physically around people is more stress than I can manage, being able to chat on the phone or hang out virtually on the grid is a wonderful thing.

Halstrom, your haunting post has been in my mind since yesterday, and I still am unsure of what to say. I send a stranger's hugs, though, to both you and to your mother. Pariicularly to your mother.

It is safe to say, talk to her professionals about it. But I'm going to buck the trend here. I'm thinking that any effort made personally by you her child is going to have more emotional clout than something you work out with her doctors. Particularly if you are sharing something very personal with her.

Unlike others, I think it is important that SL be outside of her therapeutic context (by which I mean, not something that she is doing to try to heal, but something that she is doing to pass the time). Something she does herself, instead of TV or a book. So that she can be free to escape her life. Escape is what SL is all about.

Show her SL and do something goofy while you do it. Perhaps you might want to be a fun AV when you do so ... something unlike yourself ... a gorgeous bimbo or little gray bunny or anything that might make her laugh when she compares the AV to you. Perhaps the notion that you can be someone (or something!) completely different in SL might appeal to her.

Then, take her thru registration yourself, and meet her in SL, and plan to keep in touch with her there. Be her buddy there. You would not want her to duplicate the experience of being alone and feeling superfluous .. it is easy to feel that way on the grid. Connect her with a few groups that will offer her things to do in SL. NCI is a great start, and their classes on newbie social skills are great. And any group that uses group IM a lot ...a fashion group, a very active performing artist's group, an arts group like SL Shakespeare or SL Ballet, folks that share her religion, folks that do something she's never done but wanted to ... fly or skydive.

If she continues with it, then speak with her about the emotional risks. And then would be the time to let her medical team know she's trying this, so that they can do a little research, and so that she can feel free to discuss her experiences in SL with them.

I think anything done by her children that demonstrates caring is a good thing. And that is what you would be doing, regardless of where she takes it afterwards.
.

I don't mean to derail but I resemble that remark minus any emotional disturbance! LOL Don't most of us?

As everyone knows, I have a couple of mental health problems & find SL both a help & a hindrance. Everything quoted here is brilliant advice I think. I was lucky to come here once friends from a previous chat place had already been here a few months & literally helped me through everything. I find the friends I came here with & those i've met since joining SL have helped so much. Yes; I do find alot of things difficult in SL but i'm sure if anything happened (And not alot can) they'd be there. I think anything is worth a try, doesn't sound like there's anything to lose! I hope things get worked out & your Mum gets the help she needs x