Refusing 'friends' invitation

Yep!
I seem to have a lot of new residents arriving in my garden .... it's fun showing them around, helping out and all that! And yes, if I don't hear from them again, I presume they're making lots of other friends and they disappear from my kinda out of control list.
Some stay friends ... /me waves at Sandy

Worst thing that's been happening to me recently has been people offering friendship and then throwing me lots of unsolicited TPs, Been getting loads of those, and sometimes from people I wasnt expecting it from.
'

Wow, I admire your friendliness & patience Nika.

I guess I just don't have whatever it is that makes some people good mentors/helpers. I'm not really that friendly (even in RL) and I find newbies to be more annoying than refreshing.

Now mind, I haven't forgotten where I came from. I remember my newbie days. But I was the kind of newb that wandered and learned on my own. I actually avoided the mentors. *chuckles* I collected notecards and visited the teaching sites, took classes, etc. I know everyone isn't this independent and for those who need/want the help, you sweet people are there. *wink*



Nah, not for me. Contact Directory would mean the same thing to me. That's kinda like a list of email contacts, or a phone book. I wouldn't add someone I only talked to once to those either.



Awwww. Now that's just cute Avion. Nice people are cool.

Im sort of suprised so many people have problems declining friendship offers from out of the blue. I can be pretty socially akward and worry too much about offending someone but geez if your whole plan is quietly deleting them anyway then just say no.

They need to re-work this current system of friends list, calling cards and being able to see who comes in and out. Friend's list deleted then calling card should also go with it.

What good is it to check off where it says show your on-line status when the calling card shows you're on or off. Not only this but if a message is sent it goes thru' again showing you're on or off.

It just doesn't make sense the way it is. It kind of contradicts it's purpose. At times you may want to do something and not be bothered so you may want to come in unnoticed but you can't. Since if one says you're off-line the other say's you're on.

I hate it especially when I come in and before I'm fully rezzed I'm already getting IM's. At times asking me what I'm doing. I'm rezzing, that's what I'm doing. Give me a break to rezz and settle in before bombarding me with messages.

The IM's should also go on the same way they do when you're off-line. If you check off the off-line box then everything should indicate this same thing. Friends list, calling cards and IM's. Other then this what's the point of being able to put down you're off-line to begin with?

Well, my OP wasn't about out of the blue. Those ones get a brisk slap upside the head.

I feel bad saying no to people who are obviously new and looking for inworld contacts. Certainly, and especially at the hangout (see disclaimer below), we like to help newbies with their questions, or show them around. That doesn't mean I want them on my friends list after just a brief chat.

B.

I discard offers from people who didn't even talk to me and explain that. Sometimes they tell me they just clicked somewhere by mistake. Happens! The more difficult situations arise with newbs. When I mentor I obviously interact with them, sometimes even speak to them, often even on the orientation island after their first rezz. They seem to feel very attached to the person who helped them and many want friendship. I used to accept to be polite just to be bombarded with questions afterwards - being the ONLY contact on their list! :/ Although I sympathize and really like to help this became too much. So I usually decline friendship offers from newbs but teach them other ways to find help instead.

Might be a noobish question, but when you do a card you out any link on it? or just your name?

(I also don't like to accpet friendship from everyone in SL.... mainly because we might not talk again)

Your card is basically a notecard, so you can put information on it if you want. I'm pretty sure I've seen that, but I haven't messed with mine and I really don't use them for much of anything. If you look at the notecards you have in your inventory, you'll also notice that the ones for people on your friends list will show their online status as well.

I decline friends offers from people who I haven't talked with at all and don't know. Others I would probably accept even if I didn't know them well and see what happens. I actually wish I had more offers from people I know. After reading a lot of the posts on here in this and other threads on this topic, I'm a little afraid to send offers when I meet a forumite in-world. I like you all and I'd love you on my friends list, but I don't want to offend anyone, so I usually don't send offers. More proof that I'm socially retarded.

LOL does that mean you'd run screaming if I sent you a friend request?

I do feel bad declining friend cards BUT I have to. Its easy to say well what does it hurt but when your so busy all the time trying to make a living here last thing you need is to log into several people you have talked to only once saying "hi" or "what are you up to". I barley have the time to see the friends I've had for 3 years. And the friends I do have also are designers or have a rich social life and we kinda help each other out but know that if there partner is online or they might be busy to just leave each other alone. We are a close group who knows when to back off basically lol. I think I've come to a point in SL where I'm happy with the friends I have and don't feel the need to bond with anyone else. Sad but true. Anyway thats how it is for me. If they send it i decline and say"sorry I don't take cards".
If there offended not much I can do about it. I think I would feel worse taking it and ditching it the next day.

~I don't accept friendships from people i have never spoken to, or met.
~The ones i have met, who are fast off the mark offering frienship, I accept, but make note of them, and if i don't hear from them again in a Week, I remove them again because they are obviously not that interested.
~I Offer friendship only occasionally, and i am extremely careful about the people i would call friend, it's not only a matter of common interests, but also a matter of thier personal conduct.

Angel.