So, really . . . who IS that nice man "raping" you?

Sorry Chris, I overlooked this post somehow.

I think "meaningless" is probably an overstatement; let's just say that you have to treat the number with caution. Which I would advise doing in any case, as it applies to a different platform and fundamentally different KIND of application.

I am really not trying to make a "hard" case here, one way or another. But this is a dimension of this issue that I suspect that most people haven't thought of, and that certainly doesn't get much mention in discussions. Once it is established that the activity is "consensual," the tendency is to move on without much more examination of the issue.

Agreed, I suppose, if we could be sure that that was what was happening.

The debate between those who argue that porn use is "catharsis" or "sublimation," providing an outlet for aggressive behaviours, and those who believe that it can lead to an escalation of behaviours, is a long-standing one. Both sides claim that the issue was "resolved" (in their favour, of course) a long time ago.

I tend to the "escalation" side, but suspect that in reality, BOTH things are happening. It's very difficult to prove causation when dealing with something so complicated as human behaviour.

I think that IS a very good point, Love. I think I would respond by pointing out that there is a great deal of very strong evidence linking sexual offences and porn use; the real issue is what the exact nature of that relationship is.

But my point here is that there is much more, and much "better" porn in SL than in Facebook or MySpace. So that while the "real" element of Facebook is undoubtedly an attraction, the ready available of extreme porn of all kinds in SL must be one too.

Thanks, Lil. That's a pretty interesting and useful breakdown. Are laws in the US so varied across states as to make that inapplicable across the board? Or is this likely the case, overall?

Seems to me that the grid here would be a particularly lousy hunting ground for sex offenders.

Can you imagine? One shows up, and is immediately accosted and pinned to the wall by desperate SL cougars... the only person that's going to get violated is him, 90% of the time! Plus, it's a really crummy place to look for actual naughty activity. Say a predator finds a victim, then discovers that the victim is 8000 miles away. DOH! That's going to be some pretty expensive predation there.

There's so many desperate lonely people in SL, I'd imagine most predators would have to constantly peel the willing participants off of themselves in order to get a clear view of the unwilling victims. I can barely begin to count the number of friends I have that fake having an inworld partner, just to blunt the number of randy offers they get. And these are just the men I'm talking about...

* * * * *

Far more frequently, there's some... I don't even know if there's a definition for this, but what I see *all the time* are situations where a sort of needy, lonely, depressed individual with little self esteem hooks up with someone really domineering and abusive.

Sometimes the mousier one even actively encourages and draws out those domineering, abusive qualities... for what reason, I don't know. Maybe for more attention. To be clear, this is absolutely not "blaming the victim" ~ it's a straaaange dynamic, often seen with supposed slaves.

It's pure psycho drama stuff; the predictable result being the lonely mouse feeling even more worthless in the end, and the jerk moving on to sort of crush another person's self esteem and laugh at them. Perhaps to fill some sort of hole in their life too I guess.

While this process happens in reality as well often enough, I guess the grid just lends a sort of brutal efficiency to the whole process. Is there even a law against it? I don't know if there is; it may be just "life" for lots of people.

I hope it wouldn't matter . . . i.e., that such an interaction with a violent sex offender wouldn't have direct ramifications for you.

The question . . . and it IS an open one . . . is the degree to which such an interaction might impact upon the behaviour of the person interacting with you.

I don't have a simple answer to that, because I don't think there IS a simple answer. Just questions . . .

Yes, this.

In essence, I think, this is what I am getting at.

Thank you, Pep, for another trenchant and insightful contribution to the dialogue.

I'm not assuming anything. The most violent SEX offences (the emphasis is an important one) -- the ones that here concern me -- are overwhelming committed by males. That is why the focus.

As for male on male sexual violence, actually, I don't think my OP rules that out at all.

Pep, I've already apologized, with the utmost contrition and sincerity, for my vicious assault upon your wrist with a ruler.

I've done my time: I am remorseful. Time to let bygones be bygones, surely?

Wow, Bree.

What a really excellent question!!

There is research demonstrating that victims of RL sexual abuse become more vulnerable to it over time. But I've never seen any research at all about the effects of "virtual victimization."

I agree. Criminals are going to use the internet for their own uses. Not just violent sex crimes either. I actually think statistically those would be a much smaller percentage of those crimes then fraud and theft. Crime is a fact of life. People should learn good basic safety practices to be as safe as they can, then not let it overshadow life.

I wonder what the statistics are in the US population overall. How does that 29,000 compare with MySpace’s total user base? Then how does that statistic compare for a US city of about the same size? I am not sure 29,000 is such a shocking figure as it sounds.

/me has to run, but writes a promissory note for Des to get back his post as soon as she can . . .

(GREAT responses everyone, thank you! Some really good food for thought here!)

I see nothing in your articles that proves that contention. And of course, you are missing out yet *another* important word: "reported".
. . . but you started off your OP with . . .

Funny, the entire thrust of your post seems to focus on violence against women, and says *nothing* that might suggest that you are anything but completely and bigotedly biased regarding such matters . . .

Pep ( . . . to such an extent that your "arguments" do not bear scrutiny; you are demonstrating yet again that activist feminists rely on hysterical rhetoric rather than any rationally constructed discussion.)

Would you forgive a male who perpetrated such a violent act upon a woman?

Pep (Would *you* forget it?)

And of course, in SL, it is an absolute and universal truth that "she was asking for it".

Pep (or maybe she was so dumb or hysterical that she forgot where the tp/exit option was. )

PS Perhaps you might gain more enlightenment regarding your sisters by investigating why so many women want so much to be "raped" in sl? By men. other women, animals and plants even.

There seems to be an assumption that dangerous sex offenders in SL are going to engage in depictions of violent sex. Maybe, but that would be kind of a tip-off, wouldn't it? Rather, I'd think that the most dangerous will be the charming ones who prefer the Slow Dance poseballs at the most romantic venues.

. . . and who then eventually arranges a rl meeting.

Pep (is into double figures in that respect.)

Oh, my view is that the "rapist" can be all kinds of nasty. It doesn't matter in SL (as long as you keep things in SL) to the one being "raped." That is, don't forget, play rape in a completely consensual environment where there's not actually any physical contact or danger or consequences.

Or rape.

Facebook, myspace, etc, are about connecting people, with a great deal of stalkability. There's much more opportunity for online contact there to turn into a real crime.

I find your porn argument completely tangential and irrelevant to what I said.

there is a good reason they become more vulnerable over time..they are kept a victim and kept scared..
the way to stop it is to build them back up and not break them down..Get them away from feeling like a victim..put them back in power of themselves...victims get used to being victims in a sense..they need a drastic turn around..

I had people trying to keep me a victim letting me drag around..rooms going silent when certain topics came up..or certain shows being shut off when i was around or always feeling sorry or getting special treatment..
people always saying how unfair it was and how would things ever been the same..BLEH!!!

thats the wrong direction..people saying life is not fair and you need to get back to your life..you need to gain the control you lost again..you were not weak before this happened..if you don't find yourself you will always be a victim..and they are right..
it will just be easier for the next person that does something because the fight won't be there as much to stop it..

instead of going to therapists that wanted to probe my mind my father instructed me in some self defense and Tai Chi..things that made me see that things could have changed in certain situations..things that could stop someone in their tracks..let alone..he is just a motivator anyways and our talks alone built me up..families need to be important not some stranger with a degree going off averages of this may be the case..
nobody knows you like your family..

i have 3 big dogs ..1 lab.1mastiff and 1great dane..also i have my side arm and my knife that is always on my belt..i have a permit for the gun and need it for work anyways..

My point is the world to me nowdays is stuck on this life is fair thing and when someone gets hurt or see's a chance to point a finger they point it and have closure and never move forward any smarter than they were..

life is not fair and we are delt bad things a lot of times..there is not always going to be justice..so we have to turn those things into experience and bounce out of them to be smarter the next time that problem comes around again..
a victim kept a victim won't be ready and will be weaker the next time..where someone that took lifes lesson and became stronger will send that F*Cker to hell wishing he never came back for seconds..

Sorry for making this drag on..but there are just too many victims in the world and not enough getting stronger from the terrible sh*t in our lives that is there to make us get tougher and stronger and turn the tides on these freaks taking what they think they can..

We all have to consider who we are sleeping with in sl - but we all have to do the same thing in real. Is your real husband a rapist? Is your wife a convicted feloness? I trust in sl because I MUST trust at some level - if I dont I wouldnt enter this world. The doubts we have must be subimtated becaue we can never be sure of who are friends and bedcompanions are. I have slept with a very large number of men in sl and enjoy it but I have rarely met a man who makes my alarm bells ring. There isnt a gizzly behind every tree in the forest.

Most men I've met here are decent. Sure, there will be some bad seeds. But we cant ask for identity papers and I do think Lindens built this world on one over-riding priciple: Trust.

An interesting question. PS can anyone (scylla) go inworld and via my profile info see who Hal is and leave a message for himl to say I wont be on tonight - I still dont have my computer going. It makes me so sad to see his name on my friends "online" knowing he's yearning for me and my witticalisms Ta! I owe ya one

I thought maybe you had me on ignore.

You asked in another post about the variance in state laws in the US. While there are wild differences in state laws, Oprah, the Today Show, and Dateline have scare mongered this subject to the point that the elected officials are all trying to out do each other in cracking down on the "dirty perverts". Which is why in some states and cities released sex offenders literally are living under bridges. They have been zoned out of every other living space. It doesn't make much sense to me, if the guy is so dangerous he can't live where he pleases, why the hell is he out of jail? (Or in the case of rapists and child molesters, why is he still breathing at all.)

Pssst! Scyll. dont forget Hal - say I wont be on ta (see above) (up one from Chris)

I sent him a message Jig.

The social networking sites create the need to find more and more friends as well as constantly update your status. What should be pushed for is the opposite of that within SL, or at the very least a choice to stay anonymous.

There are stories popping up more frequently about what a great tool something like Facebook is to a criminal. Great, your status says you are going out to dinner. Will you update it to robbed blind after? Or only if your computer wasn't stolen too? The same applies as to what a sexual predator/ registered offender would be looking for.

I just don't see SL as being that appealing to a sexual predator for reasons already given in this and every other perennial pixelated sexual violence thread.