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Is honesty always the best policy?

Chrystena Eberhart
Registered User
Join date: 12 Mar 2008
Posts: 4
09-24-2008 12:00
Some say that we should be honest about our RL selves to those we meet in SL, while others say our SL selves are/can be entirely separate from our RL selves, and therefore, honesty about RL isn’t necessary. Is honesty the best policy? Does it depend on the situation? Are there aspects of our RL selves that will creep in, even if we don’t intend them to?
HoneyBear Lilliehook
Owner, The Mall at Cherry
Join date: 18 Jun 2007
Posts: 4,500
09-24-2008 12:02
This is a question suitable for novels :)

I am who I am. I'm honest and open most of the time, but nobody in SL has a right or the need to know everything about my RL unless I choose to share it.
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Zoha Boa
Registered User
Join date: 12 Mar 2007
Posts: 2,893
09-24-2008 12:06
I think it depends what you do here in SL.

I have no problems to give personal info to my close friends. Some have my address , phone number, real name, ...

I'm in the landbusiness but i can imagine that you will not give personal info here when you are for exemple a teacher in RL and an escort in SL ....
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Rose Dove
Registered User
Join date: 16 Mar 2008
Posts: 288
09-24-2008 12:07
From: Chrystena Eberhart
Some say that we should be honest about our RL selves to those we meet in SL, while others say our SL selves are/can be entirely separate from our RL selves, and therefore, honesty about RL isn’t necessary. Is honesty the best policy? Does it depend on the situation? Are there aspects of our RL selves that will creep in, even if we don’t intend them to?


Honesty is the best policy in RL and in SL. That doesn't mean you have to tell your life story to everyone you meet in SL. If you meet someone who tells you they don't care if you're married, single, male, female, or a German shepherd in RL, there is no reason to tell them. If you meet someone who asks you if you a young woman in RL, and you say yes, then if you are really a middle-aged gay guy, you have been dishonest.

I have known people who believe in keeping on-line RP completely separate from RL and have known of people who have been hurt badly by lies from these people. In my mind, it is never OK to do something that will hurt someone else.
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Nichole Vanbeeck
Registered User
Join date: 18 Dec 2006
Posts: 153
09-24-2008 12:09
From: HoneyBear Lilliehook
This is a question suitable for novels :)

I am who I am. I'm honest and open most of the time, but nobody in SL has a right or the need to know everything about my RL unless I choose to share it.


I concur....
Czari Zenovka
I've Had it With "PC"!
Join date: 3 May 2007
Posts: 3,688
09-24-2008 12:12
From: HoneyBear Lilliehook
I am who I am. I'm honest and open most of the time, but nobody in SL has a right or the need to know everything about my RL unless I choose to share it.


Same here.
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Imnotgoing Sideways
Can't outlaw cute! =^-^=
Join date: 17 Nov 2007
Posts: 4,694
09-24-2008 12:18
I'm a demon goddess from the second level of hell...
I was never born, I always was...
And, I hate all that lives. (^_^)

</character>
I love using that line in the welcome areas. Really... For people that merely ask, I rarely tell them anything. Most of the time I find myself telling people I'm not from Japan and refusing to reveal my RL age.

As I've gotten closer to people... We have traded more and more information... A couple voice chats... Heck... Even a RL picture trade.

But, the majority of the time, I prefer my avatar to be taken at face value.
<character>

(^_^)y
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Ceera Murakami
Texture Artist / Builder
Join date: 9 Sep 2005
Posts: 7,750
09-24-2008 12:21
From: Chrystena Eberhart
Some say that we should be honest about our RL selves to those we meet in SL, while others say our SL selves are/can be entirely separate from our RL selves, and therefore, honesty about RL isn’t necessary. Is honesty the best policy? Does it depend on the situation? Are there aspects of our RL selves that will creep in, even if we don’t intend them to?

I am always honest about the facts that matter in SL. I let people know that I am married in RL and have no intention, ever, of carrying any SL "relationships" over into RL. I let people know that Ceera is one of many fictional characters that I roleplay as, and that if you are talking to Ceera, you are getting the responses that the fictional character should be making. If someone is establishing a contract with me to build whole sims, and if their company has a legal reason to require my personal information for the contract, then they can have my real info for their contract.

Beyond that, it's none of their business if my player is 18 or 80; male or female; gay, straight, or bi; or really an intelligent German Shepherd.

Do some other factors eventually bleed over, especially with trusted long-term friends? Yes. But I try to keep this Second Life as seperate from my real life as I can. If I wanted to "just be me", I'd hang out on MySpace or in local bars and nightclubs.
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Jerboa Haystack
TGTKFMA
Join date: 23 Sep 2008
Posts: 2,283
09-24-2008 12:21
Yes!...um No!...um, I mean... :confused:

It depends?

Some people separate RL and SL, and that is ok. Others view SL as an extension of RL, and that's ok too.

I am in the camp that honesty is the best policy. But I also draw a line between SL and RL. It is just as honest to say 'sorry, I'm not talking about my RL'. Just because I'm chatting with the giant ant avatar next to me, doesn't mean that the ant has a right to know every nook and cranny of my life.

I think the key is to simply let others know where you stand on the topic of RL/SL separation, and always consider the feelings of whoever you happen to be with at the time.
Jerboa Haystack
TGTKFMA
Join date: 23 Sep 2008
Posts: 2,283
09-24-2008 12:24
OH!!!!!

And...if you are female.

Protect yourself!!!!

There are a lot of creepy people out there. Unless you know someone really well, don't give out anything that could be dangerous, or that would be embarrassing if it became public knowledge. It's always ok to say 'I don't want to talk about it'. Really!
Wulfric Chevalier
Give me a Fish!!!!
Join date: 22 Dec 2006
Posts: 947
09-24-2008 12:25
You have to define what you mean by honesty. There is nothing dishonest in not revealing anything about your RL. It's only if you lie about your RL that there is dishonesty involved, and even then it only strikes me as important if it's relevant to your SL. Telling your SL partner you're an 18 year old girl when you're a 45 year old man is dishonest and wrong, telling someone you meet in a club that you are a long distance trucker, just to stimulate the conversation, when you're actually a local delivery driver, strikes me as dishonest but not terribly important.
Hard Rust
Sleaze King of SL
Join date: 20 May 2006
Posts: 94
09-24-2008 12:45
I lie about everything. But at least I am honest about it.
Pserendipity Daniels
Assume sarcasm as default
Join date: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 8,839
09-24-2008 12:48
From: Chrystena Eberhart
Some say that we should be honest about our RL selves to those we meet in SL, while others say our SL selves are/can be entirely separate from our RL selves, and therefore, honesty about RL isn’t necessary. Is honesty the best policy? Does it depend on the situation? Are there aspects of our RL selves that will creep in, even if we don’t intend them to?


Of course not!

Pep (I lied)
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Colette Meiji
Registered User
Join date: 25 Mar 2005
Posts: 15,556
09-24-2008 12:49
Honesty is definitely the best policy.

Telling people all sort of things that can get you stalked ... Not the best policy.

So be Honest but be guarded.
Chris Norse
Loud Arrogant Redneck
Join date: 1 Oct 2006
Posts: 5,735
09-24-2008 12:50
From: Hard Rust
I lie about everything. But at least I am honest about it.



So you aren't hard or rusty?
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HoneyBear Lilliehook
Owner, The Mall at Cherry
Join date: 18 Jun 2007
Posts: 4,500
09-24-2008 12:50
From: Jerboa Haystack
OH!!!!!

And...if you are female.

Protect yourself!!!!

There are a lot of creepy people out there. Unless you know someone really well, don't give out anything that could be dangerous, or that would be embarrassing if it became public knowledge. It's always ok to say 'I don't want to talk about it'. Really!



Awwww, you care! ;)
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Raudf Fox
(ra-ow-th)
Join date: 25 Feb 2005
Posts: 5,119
09-24-2008 12:51
*snicker* My favorite is when asked my A/S/L. 3/Not with you/Fushida. Tis the truth, because my avatar's 3 years old, and sex wise, if I say female, I'm gonna get the next question of wanna sexxors, so I've answered that. And I love confusing people in world about my location, so I name my home sim as my location.

*sniff* Between the dragon av and my answers, I wonder why the boners don't bother me...
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Toy LaFollette
I eat paintchips
Join date: 11 Feb 2004
Posts: 2,359
09-24-2008 12:54
be honest, always and this doesnt mean you have to share RL in SL but be honest and say you simply do not wish to share RL in SL. You dont have to lie if someone asks you about your RL info. Be truthful that you do not share RL in SL.
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Colette Meiji
Registered User
Join date: 25 Mar 2005
Posts: 15,556
09-24-2008 12:55
From: Raudf Fox
*snicker* My favorite is when asked my A/S/L. 3/Not with you/Fushida. Tis the truth, because my avatar's 3 years old, and sex wise, if I say female, I'm gonna get the next question of wanna sexxors, so I've answered that. And I love confusing people in world about my location, so I name my home sim as my location.

*sniff* Between the dragon av and my answers, I wonder why the boners don't bother me...


Id recommend not answering 3

They might try to report you for being underage.

yes people in SL are that dumb.
LittleMe Jewell
...........
Join date: 8 Oct 2007
Posts: 11,319
09-24-2008 13:03
From: Chrystena Eberhart
Some say that we should be honest about our RL selves to those we meet in SL, while others say our SL selves are/can be entirely separate from our RL selves, and therefore, honesty about RL isn’t necessary. Is honesty the best policy? Does it depend on the situation? Are there aspects of our RL selves that will creep in, even if we don’t intend them to?
It definitely depends - just like in RL. Yes, I believe some "white lies" are okay -- ask me if your avatar is cute and if I think not, I probably will not say that -- just like I will not tell you if I think you are fat or ugly in RL. Some other questions, my answer might be "does it really matter"? Other questions I will be completely truthful when answering and there will be still others that I will refuse to discuss, at least until I know you really well.

However, other than what I consider to be "harmless white lies", I will be truthful in anything that I do actually answer.
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Desmond Shang
Guvnah of Caledon
Join date: 14 Mar 2005
Posts: 5,250
09-24-2008 13:03
Oddly enough, those who know me as Desmond know me better than most people ever possibly could.
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Raudf Fox
(ra-ow-th)
Join date: 25 Feb 2005
Posts: 5,119
09-24-2008 13:34
From: Colette Meiji
Id recommend not answering 3

They might try to report you for being underage.

yes people in SL are that dumb.


Gah, I forgot about that. I haven't been asked this question in a while, so I haven't updated my cut/paste... >.< That'd be my luck, although I'd be considered one heck of a talented 3 year old, surfing the web, reading and typing. Einstein would have nothing on me!

So, I'll make it, "Old enough to know better," which given some of the people I have had ask me the a/s/l, would put me at the age of 3 anyways...

I disclose only as much information as I feel comfortable with. A person coming up to me out of nowhere and asking for my a/s/l gets the above response. If I've talked to them for days (and like them), I might give them more personal info. Not much more than general info.

For the record, I'm of this mindset in RL too.
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Yosef Okelly
Mostly Harmless
Join date: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 2,692
09-24-2008 14:12
From: Chrystena Eberhart
Is honesty always the best policy?
When you are as old as I am, your memory is shot (but then a lot of that was chemically self-induced
truma) so yeah, the truth is a hell of a lot easier to remember.
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Rose Dove
Registered User
Join date: 16 Mar 2008
Posts: 288
09-24-2008 14:18
From: Hard Rust

I lie about everything. But at least I am honest about it.


From: Chris Norse
So you aren't hard or rusty?


/me thinks he must be soft and shiny =D
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Zim Gunsberg
Just some guy...
Join date: 16 May 2008
Posts: 211
09-24-2008 15:24
I take other people's AV's at face value and assume that they're doing the same with regard to mine. I really don't have any desire to know about the RL existence of those I meet in SL. When asked about my own RL, I usually change the subject unless it's someone I've known a while, I which case I give only sketchy details such as my age or sex.
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