We've lost one of our own...

I guess it falls to me to bring a piece of difficult news to our community. My very much loved partner Victorria Paine vanished abruptly from SL in September, and there's been no word since. Last weekend however I was sent an email, correct in the few family details I knew of, which described her sudden death in an auto accident...

Whether or not to believe this? - I've not been able to verify the event at all. Yet even a quick look at Tori's posts in this forum will give a clear indication of her thoughtful nature, her clarity of mind... my opinion is that she wouldn't have done such a thing, herself. Nonetheless I understand that deceptions in this vein are not unique...

So I've thought, and sought counsel, and thought more... and I've decided to follow some particularly wise advice: to let myself be "fooled". I grieved her absence - I'll mourn her now.

The person behind Victorria Paine was a brilliant mind, a warm heart, and one of the clearest thinkers I've met, anywhere. She changed my life for the better. Maybe some of you will be moved to google her and to look at some of the articles she'd had in the Second Life Herald, and other places. I miss you, sweetie.

I'm sorry for yours, and her families, loss. Life is precious, and can be taken abruptly at any time, leaving the loves ones behind, with the harder job of coping. You will remember always the good times.

I would add that I very much enjoyed her forum posts here.

I'm so sorry, Eveline. You and I have spoken briefly about the impact this whole episode has had on you....and now this news? Is this a resolution or a whole new level of nightmare? I'm speechless, and I'm so sorry you have to go through this.

So very sorry...

Oh Eveline- I am so sorry for this! We have spoken before of people leaving - but nothing can compare to this. I know how much she meant to you and how happy you had been beside her. I too remember her posts here and found her enjoyable to read. My heart goes out to u. I am so sorry.

My heart goes out to you, my dear.

*HUG*

/me wraps her arms around you in a warm hug ...

Oh dear... My heart goes out to you, and my condolences on your loss.

An unfortunate aspect of the anonymous nature of SL is that sometimes things do happen in the real world to take away people that we come to care about in SL, and in too many cases, there is no way at all to find out why they disappeared. Sad as it is that you got the news you did, at least you have some degree of closure. Some people never get that much...

*Sigh*

My thoughts are with you and her other loved ones; I am very sorry for this sad loss.

Here, Victorria was always a voice of open-minded understanding and deep appreciation of SL as a medium of shared experience. Her wisdom has been and will be missed.

Vicrtorria was wonderfully helpful to me more than once. This is very sad news indeed.

My sympathies to you, and you are doing the right thig: It has been written - Those who have passed on live in the memories of those who love them.

*hugs* to you

I enjoyed her posts here also. Thanks for updating us on this.

Eveline, I am so sorry. Whether or not the news is objectively "true" in the real world, your loss is just as real either way. I'm so sorry. -hugs-

I am so very sorry to hear this and my sympathy goes out to you and others that loved her.

No matter why she is gone, she is gone and I will miss her. She had a lovely way about her and I really enjoyed her posts.

Wherever she is now, I wish her the best.

Thanks, everyone. I'm so confused by aspects of this, but your very real concern and affection isn't confusing in the least.

I can totally understand the grief you're experiencing. While playing in Gor, I met a truly wonderful, gentle man with whom I companioned in May of last year. We were very happy - he never let on if he was having any issues with our relationship. About a month later, he told me he was going into the hospital to have a kidney stone removed. The next thing I knew, he emailed me briefly to say he was very sick, that the laser had 'missed' and he now had an infection in his kidney. He went back into the hospital, promsing to keep me updated. He didn't. I didn't hear from him ever again - until a friend of his im'd me to tell me that he was in end-stage renal failure and needed a kidney transplant. He was now in the hospital for over a month. Finally, I received word that he had died before they could do the transplant.

Did he really die? Don't know. There's always the possibility that he decided he wanted out of the companionship and killed off his av, made another alt, and started a new SL life. I will never really know, as he never gave me his RL name, nor did I give him mine. So the mystery will always be there for me.

I miss him terribly. He was such a decent, funny, all-around nice guy and I loved every minute of role-play we shared. I just have to look at it that he really died. Because that was what I was told. It's hard. But I have to resign myself to that being The End.

My prayers are with you, honey.

That's horrible. I'm so sorry to hear this, and condolences to her family and friends.

It's a stark fact that these things will get more common as time goes on, and there are a few people I know who have had to face that the person they loved really has gone. It's very easy to assume - and who has not had their heart go out before only to find someone was playing a game with them - that it's a trick. We all get so cynical after all.

It takes courage to face up to a probable reality, as you have done, and I hope that posting here has given you some peace. I'd like to thank you for letting us know, too. Knowing Victoria only a little, she always seemed very much on the level and I am very sad to hear of her passing, and of your loss. She had a lovely personality.

This is such sad news. My thoughts are with her family and with you, Eveline.

Oh, Eveline...I am so sorry to hear this news. *hugs you close* These past months must have been awful...and then to hear of Victoria's passing...well, my heart hurts for you.

It doesn't really matter how we know someone...RL or SL, the connection, and thus the pain at losing that person, are very, very real.

My thoughts are with you and her family. Know that people are thinking of you.

Tears. Thanks. Oh dear... thanks. Gosh I miss her.

Thanks.

I had something similar happen, too. I was chatting late with one of my friends on my forum and the next morning he didn't get back online. He never got back online, and finally a week later one of his friends told me that he had been sick (lung cancer? Something to do with smoking) and wasn't supposed to be up that late and was supposed to be resting and had gone to the hospital and died. I don't know if it was true, in fact I thought he had made it up, so I did the opposite. I've never really grieved it at all. I just don't have a lot of trust online with some of my dealings with close friends. There are many reasons one could pretend to die, and this particular person liked attention and I don't know if that was the reason or if I should have "been fooled". I'm sure you knew her better than I knew him and you're a big person to "let yourself be fooled". It takes more to do that. It shows your respect and trust.

Eveline, I'm so sorry to read about your loss. Rest assured that you're handling this the best way you know how and trusting your instincts in this case, seems to be well thought out. Victoria wasn't someone who was some fly-by-night person in your life or in SL - she was known to many and obviously well loved by you and others as well. In this case, doubtful that this was false information handed to you.

Simply put, my heart goes out to you.

i'm very sorry.

It really is tragic when someone gets killed in an auto accident. That is one of the worst ways for anyone to die. Truly is sad indeed.

My condolences go to you, her families, and her friends.