SL mimicking RL Women trapping Men LOL

Okies this would be sort of funny and I would laugh like if I did not know the people involved!

So my employee (yes I am posting on an alt right now) and very good friend, who is suffering from kidney cancer right now in RL and battling it hard, hooked up with one of my best male friends in SL and they couldn't be happier. He had a former SL wife who I guess they planned to have kids and then she ran off and joined a vampire clan so he dumped her. So he met my friend and they got married back in January and then did the whole pregnancy thing and had a kid, okies with me still? Yes it's a soap opera I know. So she has this kid and to her SL is the only thing keeping her going as most of her rl friends treat her different since finding out she has cancer. They are blissfully happy and then the exwife vampire wife crawls out of the woodwork. She is now in a biker gang and acts all tough scaring my friend bringing her biker friends into my place of business to frighten my employee who manages my store when RL has me busy. So, okies like two days after their little bundle of joy is born this vampire biker exwife comes to her ex SL husband (who is also a very good friend) and says they have a daughter from their all too brief marriage in SL LOL

What to do, what to do?! He is divorced in RL with kids that he barely sees them and to him this ruins his SL experience having a kid out of wedlock, so he is like actually accepting this woman and her kid she just suddenly made that is a 2 year old walking, talking avatar LOL

I suggested to my friend and employee (his NOW wife with the little baby) that she just make an avatar with similar name and that will replace the kid this Ex of his has. I hate to see her miserable but this EX of his is taunting her.

I told the Ex of his to stop what she is doing, my friend has cancer and she doesn't need this and nobody wants anything to do with her anymore anyways! Go back away kind of thing!

Yes this guy has money and big estates and is being so played by this EX of his and it just gives the 99.9% of normal and nice women in this game a bad name and I don't know what to tell them to do and they both ask me for advice and all I can say is go make a little girl that trumps the illegitimate one LOL

YES this is so much drama so no need to tell me but sometimes in SL it is too much like real life! Now all our other friends are joking to him that are like going to drop prim babies on his doorstep LOL This is a joke and I hate to see them going through this.

Serious advice to this semi-non serious yet serious subject?

They could both make alts, partner the alts, and keep right on going with no interference.

How about going OOC for a moment and saying, "Sorry, I want to do this differently." (^_^)y

Mute, kick and ban. If they continue harassing, then add ARs. Don't play their stupid game.

re: "he is like actually accepting this woman and her kid she just suddenly made"

the excuse/story about how it somehow replaces his rl kids just doesn't set right with me

he must care more about the ex with the "new" child of his than his current wife . . .its that simple

(my opinion only)

Seriously people- please-
OK - yes we are real people with real emotions but lets take one step at a time--- kids - are these real people rp'ing kids or are we talking prim babies? If prim- and they are taking this that seriously, real RL therapy is needed- the prim babies do not need child support!
As for the griefer crap everybody AR it-

For your friend with life threatenn gillness- I am so sorry and while SL can be a great help to many of us in many was it can alos hurt- if she is dealing with that much RL crap- and now SL is not a joy and a help then she may need to htink abouot stepping back from SL- trying to survive cancer is more important than any relationship in either world ~

As for you.. back away slowly - support, comfort, etc - yes, to one's friends always- but never, ever let urself be sucked into the pit of despair - we all have enuf bad in our own lives- Words To Live By, people... (corollary to One Riot, One Ranger...)

So... the child out of wedlock is only a SL baby?

There is an obvious answer. Have him tell the ex that if she can prove paternity via a mutually agreed upon third party, then she has an issue.

Of course she'd have to figure out how to get DNA samples in SL, and how someone could perform an unbiased test....

Why is he putting up with any of this unless he wants to RP out this situation? Somehow I don't see the courts granting virtual children much in the way of rights.

For that matter, the usual reason for RL child support is to make sure that the child's needs are looked after. In a world where food, shelter and lodging are all optional with no ill benefits to forgoing any of the above, is the concept even relevant?

Whoa,,,

Ok.....time to take a step back. Obviously your friend's physical state makes her quite vulnerable and it is totally understandable why SL would give her a sense of normalcy and relief from what she is going through.

What matters most here.....is the sincerity of the relationship she has with this SL husband. It seems to me that HE is the one more wrapped up and susceptible to the drama. Did he agree to role play this sudden child from previous marriage bit? And why would he agree to such ridiculousness. The child isn't real.....the whole scenerio isn't real......but right now what's very REAL is your friend's struggle with cancer and her need for support and a positive environment. If this guy were any sort of 'friend' at all....never mind role play husband ..... he'd ban and mute this psycho X entirely.....as well as the default child....which is just absolutely laughable. If this is something he agreed to......than I kind of have to think that there is some twisted part of him that rather enjoys the drama and chaos.

Because IT'S NOT REAL. RL kids are REAL.....and they matter....and we should indeed be making the world a better place for THEM. But catering to this woman's instability......is at the same time, totally disrespecting his SL wife/friend's real life situation. He's a fool if he continues to humor the wingnut X.

I feel for your friend that she got caught up in any of this crap while dealing with such a difficult struggle......real life is hard enough.....the real life drama we've all experienced is plenty......to even allow it to enter into SL is, well.....it's beyond me why anyone would.

If they are bent on being happy together in their SL role play lives......then they need to remove themselves entirely from the influences of this other woman. What EVER that takes......and maybe it means just creating alts and starting over. But, with cancer looming over them.......then there just simply should not be any debate about what is more important here.

From my talks with the two of them, of which time I told my friend to leave SL and take care of her health but she will not because it's all she has right now to give her a reason to get up in the morning He is a guy in RL who is divorced and misses his kids and when this little girl that he helped name comes on and starts saying Hi Daddy he can't bring himself to reject the kid, even if he knows it isn't real and that he thinks the EX is the one playing the avatar that is his daughter.

So I said okies well yall are married now so why not just ask the EX for visitation since you won't full on reject this stupid play of hers to get you back. He said no way because he thinks it's his EX playing the little girl and he doesn't want her around my friend at all causing trouble.

This is why while partnered in SL with the same guy since I started I do not wish or want marriage or kids in SL. Like RL it gets messy and breakups make it even worse.

he helped name the sl kid that just arrived?

???

he is having contact with a woman known to cause trouble?

the trouble isn't the ex or the new kid - its that guy
he is playing not only his current wife, but you too
the things you are saying should throw up red flags but for some reason you say them as tho they make sense to you

the reason i say this, is because i have been played
at one time someone thought *I* was the game

again, my opinion only

Hit your male friend upside the head with a baseball bat sl/rl then have your employee either dump him or he has no more contact with his ex... ya shes playing him but it takes 2 for that game.

I can understand that for some residents of Second Life, the chance to 'roleplay' having a nuclear and/or extended family is very important, for various reasons.

For your friend perhaps it's precisely because his RL family has been splintered. So I can see how it would upset him to suddenly have a 'broken family' in the virtual construct. He has made an emotional investment and it is very real to him.

He is trying to do the honorable thing but - it is called self protection if someone is being dishonorable to YOU.

Tell him to ask for a virtual DNA test - that is perfectly within roleplay limits and would not break the virtual reality they have all made. You or someone you trust, make an alt, have it be the doctor and announce the 2 yr old is NOT his but in fact is one of the biker gang's kids.

Win/win for everyone, I think.

So, the new GF has kidney cancer RL and needs a warm, supportive relationship.

The guy doesn't see his RL kids and feels he needs to do the right thing by his SL "kids".

How would we feel if it were revealed that the old GF with the new kid was ... oh ... paraplegic?

Using RP to fill RL needs is risky business. A couple of frank OOC conversations where everyone talks about what they want and need from SL, and how they can get some of what they need with each other but maybe not all, might be in order.
.

Wow. I don't see "sort of funny" at all.

Sounds like someone needs to turn off their computer, and use every ounce of energy he has to figure out a way to see his RL kids more often and forget the pretend kids.

And someone needs to have a REAL friend who genuinely cares for her, suggest that she turn off the computer and seek physical and emotional help in RL, rather than putzing around with a couple of drama kings, that are sucking out mental energy from her, that very well effects her physical care.

And someone needs to stop Enabling all parties involved because they get some "sort of funny" and a LOL out of it.

Shame, shame. Wondering how often this crap goes on in SL. "Semi-non serious" my ass.

Since there taking Guiding Light off the air this would make a wonderful new soap wouldnt it ? LMAO thanks for makeing me laugh i need it lol

i agree that it takes two to tango albeit sometimes it is hard to see the light when you have stars in your eyes . . . sometimes it takes awhile

also my opinion wouldn't change if i found out the ex was a paraplegic - how would that change the situation?

and even if i put my feet into role playing shoes, there are ways to be a good dad without betraying/harasing your current spouse, or letting your ex harass her

I provided a way to solve it that stays within roleplay, Kaos, and would or could happen in real life.

i liked that when i read it

Lol, thanks.

It occured to me that *maybe* the 'ex' is trying to roleplay and needs something to keep busy with - the biker gang and vamp clan ceased to thrill her. But that might send her on her way.

(Until she shows up with twins!)

Yep, you're right: cancer is a chuckle a minute, isn't it?

That's the bad part of the entire story, to me. The fact that this 'ex' has been told that her actions are causing emotional harm/upset in real, and impacting care physically I'm sure, as Mickey pointed out. And yet she continues.

*That* is the person who has trouble distinguishing virtual from real, in my book. The one who fails to see how harm in one can cause harm in the other. Because it is a *real person* in both.

Granted, those she is affecting could stand to defend themselves better but that is not equally easy for all. For various reasons - perhaps the man is defending the virtual world he's built, and the woman is too busy battling for her very life in real.

So no it's not funny it's very sad.

This one really has me shaking my head. And pretty much all parties involved need to realize that they are each a bit screwed up and a part of the problem.

The only advice is that each person really needs to define for themselves what they want out of SL and what behavior they are willing to accept from others here. RL often has many complications that can have us tolerating a situation that we normally would not. SL is not really as complicated as that and people just give it too much power. It really is much easier to define your happiness in SL and not let others ruin it.

Primarily remember that while the people at the keyboards are real and our emotions are real, SL is a fantasy world and the things that happen there are not real.

So... Who's man enough to take credit for this!?!?! (>_<



=^-^=

Well considering it is a newer OP, who may even be an alt of someone here, an outrageous story that is pretty farfetched and even the OP had LOL in both the title and the post, then........................... I would not get too hung up on chastising Sparkle.

Even if all parts of the story are true, then a person believing that they are responsible for causing virtual babies by having virtual sex and that they should be held financially responsible in some fashion, then that is still laughable and is separate from them having cancer.

Damn! And my figure went South as soon as I had just my one baby!