From: Faithless Babii
I see the most drama in each educational break/holidays...seem to get flooded with new youngsters (over 18 of course!) Id say the longgg summer break is about the biggest drama fest I see...starry eyed couples meet, get a home, argue, split up..and then I have to remove one name from the tenancy...show them how to remove them from the door admin...etc etc etc...
Faithless I think you should do the Summer Home and Garden section of the Almanack!
My guess is that everyone's bit of grid has various microclimates, soil conditions and ranges for various things.
Maybe something like this?
Zone One: Southern Mainland.
- Famous for small parcel cuttings in the spring, especially along roads. Beware hoary, overgrown patches of Oldbie Kudzu; sometimes these are a tad hard to root out. Growth is slow in the hard, old soil, so plant accordingly. Positives: while visual blight might infect your new cuttings, overall drama pollen counts are low as Chartered Oldbies don't bloom very often.
Zone Two: Heterocetera.
- Known for its absolutely, inexplicably bizarre ground textures, your best bet is to go for widely covering, low-lying plants. Wandering Noob and SnobLawn make good choices. In the higher elevations, thick hedges and yardscapes with a touch of red BanFlower help keep neighbouring banlines visually muted and out of sight.
Zone Three: Subtropical Estate.
- You had best love palm trees to consider this area. No, really. I mean you must *adore* palms. For that is what you will find. The soil is usually little more than sand, in a sort of crosshatch geomorphology known as Sandy Waffleditch in most places. The palm, and only the palm, can survive such harsh conditions; though you might see a bit of plumeria trying to hang on, and perhaps the erstwhile, dying rose. Drama conditions are also usually harsh along the hot, sunsplashed waterways, so be sure to take a hat and something to cover up, lest overexposure become a problem.
Zone Four: Gothic Clays
- Dead trees, withered branches and other failed plantlife are common in these poorly lit areas. Bad as it is, generally such landscaping is left to remain standing. A few rare species of roses thrive, however. Varieties such as the Silver Starlight Rose, the Emo Blue Bud, the Heartbreak Red, and the I'veStillGotMyPoetry Black Rose litter the ground like someone spilled a bag of cuttings from a truck. Don't even get me started about drama in these areas; the soil is practically alkaline enough to manufacture batteries. Not into roses and dead trees? Try Zone Five.
Zone Five: Elfin Forest.
- The good news: you can grow just about anything here. The bad news: just about anything does grow here. Is it green? It's going to grow. Is it oversized? It will grow, too. Prepare to face yardwork of epic proportions. Flowers and leaves will redefine your existence, and insects become somewhat of a problem. This is probably one of the best zones for the grid gardener, but even here, beware what you mix. Drama is usually limited to a brief daily afternoon thunderstorm, but is difficult to predict. Microclimates matter; it is important to know the plant species appropriate to sub-regions such as Tolkien, Warcraft, Fantasy, and Keebler.
Many more zones make up the complex soils of the grid, but I shall leave the rest to avid gardeners to contemplate for now.
