Em-bare-asing Moments.

Okay you gotta keep this clean but I've been recalling times in my life when I've had some "crawl under the table" moments and it can be sl or rl times. Coz we do some amazing things when we are in love. (I'm not certain I've ever been in love but that's beside teh point). So my Friday thread is this.

Here's one to set us rolling.

The same guy who did what I told him to do in the swimming-pool also took me dancing. Anyway, this was in a really swish place I know well on a certain caribbean island. Soo...

I was doing that back-to-the-boy-not-in-denial-but-in-invitation thing and bumping and grinding away and I got over-enthusasitic and bumped way too hard and he went totterng backwards arms falilaing away like chopsticks. Anywho he swashed into a huge crowd of ravers and set them tumbling. This was like a nine-sticks thing and set a whole wave of chaos on the floor. And lots of snunts and grumps from men. My bf was really cheesed off and said it was worse than me spillig my drink on him taht same night.

I'm not sure if that has happened to you. But it makes bumping peopel in sl a tame thing for sure.

What's been a crawl-away moment for you recently?

As is common knowledge, I am an extremely dignified and refined individual. Imagine my embarrassment when, during my bout with Swine, I tried to get my rabbits out without being spotted, while still in my pajamas. There I was, in all my flannel yellow duck glory, shirt half buttoned, hair akimbo, barefoot with fever and thinking I was being sly. Imagine my horror when I glanced up and saw a neighbor off in the distance gawking at me with his mouth hanging half open. I have a lot of rabbits. God knows how long he was there.

I tell you, the next time I catch him slinking around in his silk boxers, I'll be sure to let him catching me twitching the curtains!

I absolutely believe that. I called a friend who was in UK and it turned out it was her midnight. So she jumped outta bed and rushed to the phone in her kitchen and as she was standing there yakking with me, the neighbour's car (one of those courtyard communities) pulled in with headlights full-on. They got a brill. look at her in her birthday suit. They were gay blokes but she got some very funny looks teh next day and some nice appreciative smiles from them.
I should add she was on speaker phone so it just looked liek she was standing there starkers for their benefit when they arrived home.

Not me personally, but a few years ago I described my favourite position to a Portuguese friend in Portugal, who said he'd try it with his girlfriend. I'm not going into details but the position does sort of need the guy to mount the girl quite carefully and precisely, and I explained how to do that. A short time later I asked if he'd tried it. He said, "Yes - and I fell off." My guess is that they were on a single bed and he fell off the bed while trying to mount her.

It's not a patch on Jig felling everyone around, but it was funny to me at the time.

I think I know that position. I call it The Starfish.

Have you registered that ass, Jig? It's a deadly weapon.

Someone once said I was like a scary secret agent. I wrote it down.

I've no idea what I would call it. It's a position that I came up with myself, although loads of people must do it. It may not be the one you're thinking of.

Oh, something like that happened to me when choosing an unfortunate spot to pee in relation to a car's front headlights. That was a very long time ago though. Around the same time I got knocked over by a huge black dog running full bore on the beach at night (same conditions). I never found out if his owner saw anything or not. The dog certainly did! I think we used to drink entirely too much at or on our way to the beach

It happens every once in awhile in 2L at home too, I'll be in some god awful hair resizing ordeal, or stark naked trying skins and the most inappropriate person tends to show up at the most inopportune time. If you ever catch me looking strangely mismatched at home with goofy hair, it's because I was in the middle of something but spotted you just in time

I had just started a new job and had to go through a bunch of orientation training sessions. We had just completed the Health and Safety seminar, when I had another meeting at another facility. They had a taxi waiting for me and as I was rushing out to grab my cab, the receptionist starting telling me about what cost centre to charge the taxi to and I walked right into the glass doors, smashing my glasses against my face, leaving me bleeding all over the main entrance. I couldn't help but laugh hysterically as the receptionist looked on in horror since it looked really bad. My boss vowed to get the security footage to show at our next team meeting.

When my daughter had just started school they did a project on healthy breakfasts. Imagine my pride when I turned up for parents' evening and there on the wall was a delightful picture of me she had drawn. Underneath was written, "my mummy has coffee and fags for breakfast".

Similar to that glass door one. years ago, I was walking along a street in Ayr (Scotland) and I slowly passed a car that was parking on my side of the road. he was pulling forward and I thought I'd help a bit. So I kept on walking slowly but watching that the car didn't hit anything, and I was giving the driver suitable signals - waving him forward until he'd gone far enough and put my hand up to tell him to stop. I continued walking all the time but looking back a bit - sort of ove my right shoulder. That done, I turned my head to the front again and walked smack into a lamp post and banged my head. It *really* did hurt.

lol. I like that one But I suspect that the americans will think it means something different.

(for American readers ... fags=cigarettes)

I knew that.........

when I was a student, in the flat we had a small spare box bedroom, next to a large cupboard were we kept the key. At parties or other social functions), it was a challenge to get off with a girl the quickest so you could claim the spare room, well once this honour fell to me and I casually lead the young woman to the bedroom, and without explaining why I was going into the cupboard (to get the key) I noticed the look on her face and then at that very moment it was one of those completely silent times, the music stops, no one speaks and for a party its deadly quiet, at which point she says "I'm not doing it in a cupboard".

OK, now I really did larf at that!
Brilliant!

Dekka - another brill post!
Laurin Spinster and Voom - I have tears rolling down my cheeks
These are too wicked!
More more more!

An office job I worked at we girls used to dress to the nines on Fridays and mix up a shaker of White Russians about 4, then when we got off at 5 we went out somewhere.

This one night we had decided to go to the brand new Sheraton that had just opened, and was the current city yuppie hotspot. This required even more care with the dress and hair than usual

So we went, and were a bit tipsy. In order to use the Ladies you had to walk all the way through the restaurant part, which was somewhat more brightly lit than the bar, and (of course) packed because it was the dinner hour.

So I went to the ladies, came back through the restaurant to the bar, and stood socializing with a friend for a few minutes before making my way back to my table, where my friend leaned over and whispered in my ear. Apparently, I had caught my skirt in my pantyhose in such a manner as to have flashed the entire restaurant and bar with my tidy whities.

My hair looked great tho.

You know, I had to read through your entire post to figure out exactly what you meant by "crawl under the table", and even though I kinda want to crawl under the table now, it's not for the reason I initially thought your post was about...

Oh, God! Been there, done that! I have concluded that skirts and dresses are NOT safe attire for going out drinking in!

Could have been worse - at least you were wearing some

I have all sorts of stupid work stories lol. I was in Miami one time to present at a conference and we were staying at a really nice resort and I scored a posh suite with an expansive balcony overlooking the ocean. I was up early the morning of my presentation and decided to have coffee on the balcony. As it came time to get dressed and get down to the meeting room, I couldn't get back into my room. I knew the outside patio door required your hotel key card which I had, but it had malfunctioned somehow. It was a really important presentation and I was starting to panic. I couldn't see anyone outside as it was still quite early in the morning. Finally I hung my head over the balcony and spotted a couple in the midst of a early morning session. I didn't know what to do! Should I wait? I tried to make a bunch of noise but they were oblivious and in the throes of passion. Time was ticking though and I had to get to my meeting. Finally I had to shout out to them to get their attention and apologized profusely. They were quite surprised and a bit irate at me and to make matters worse, they didn't speak English very well. I'm not sure who was more embarrassed at the situation. I finally got through to them that I need hotel security to get me back into my room and I made it to the meeting. I started off my presentation with my little morning anecdote!

Next time you feel the need, sugar, wink first, and I'll meet you down there!

ack, RL calls, I'll have to read the thread later

That is f**king brilliant. Oh wow. Too funny. Lucky you didnt lean over too far. Imagine landing splodge! in the atrium below.