A Friend is Being Stalked

A friend of mine is being stalked by someone using a whole bunch of alts. This has been happing since January. She thinks this might be someone she had a prior SL and for a short while RL relationship with. The attacts are becoming worse. Last week after one of them she contacted LL by phone but they just gave her the run around. Any suggestions of what to do?

I think the general suggestion is Mute and Ban (If your friend owns land). Also, a security orb will keep anyone out who hasn't been added to the admit list. Again, this is all about keeping your friends home worry free. The second your friend thinks an AV is an alt of said person, Mute right away.

Mute + purposefully ignore + *never respond* in any way + laugh.

Don't even skip a beat in conversation.

Don't even bother to ban. Reaction is what stalkers are looking for. When you stop feeding them they go away.

"But it annoys me" ... yeah, it's annoying for a while, but this too will fade. Insistence with dealing with the problem in any other way than blatantly ignoring them will feed the problem.

Warm regards,

Des

Give up SL.

Pep (or at least pretend to; use an alt herself)

Des makes a good point. If you just ignore a stalker, they will usually get bored and move on. Well, most stalkers will lol

Its been going on for months now and she's afraid they might take it to RL. One of the people she suspects know her in RL (former girlfriend).

If you're being stalked then fight fire with fire and use alts yourself. I personally wouldn't waste LL's time with this type of stuff.

The only problem is the friend would have to move to a new home/land, new friends... basically new life. If the stalker knows this much info about the person, then they wouldn't be able to go to the same clubs or hangouts as before. It's not easy to walk away from friendships and such.

I think Brenda has some "friends" who can be hired to take care of problems like this.

I wouldn't waste LL's time with it either, BUT if the person DOES indeed take stalking behavior to RL, I would certainly, ummm..*utilize* the RL police's time........

This security orb approach sounds like a very good idea for private land. Not sure what she could do if she has a shop, though, besides mute/ban/AR/ignore as soon as the perp is identified.

I think the "ignore" strategy needs to include banning, though, despite someone's recommendation otherwise. Pretending a garden-variety griefer doesn't exist sometimes works (but even then not always), but if this is a genuine stalker, it is unlikely to work any more than leaving your front door open in RL and pretending he's not standing in your living room would work.

Yup....what Des said. having some RL experience with this type.....the ONLY way to handle harassment and stalking behavior is to IGNORE it. The behavior feeds on reaction.....of ANY kind. So.....no reaction is the best way to deal with it. It's no fun, but on the other hand......it's a form of control......giving up SL or changing home and hang outs......is still reacting. It's exactly the kind of thing the stalker would like to manipulate. Don't do it.

If the behavior translates into RL as well......then the authorities should be notified immediately. There's no other logical recourse there.....but that's real life and the implications are inherently different and more severe so, action has to be taken. But as far as SL goes...... don't do a thing.....don't respond.....don't react.....don't ban.....just behave as if that person or alts were not even a part of the universe.

If it goes to RL, definitely inform your local authorities - but also inform LL. If you know the person's RL identity, include that in your report. In every example I've seen mentioned of SL griefing extending to RL, LL's inworld action has been swift.
.

Definitely. On both sides of the law.

ban + security orbs = "you are having an effect upon me as intended"

Just want to point out, bans are useless. Anyone can grab another alt, and clearly even in mild cases this is just the thing that stalkers do.

However if you don't ban, you get the added benefit of knowing who the tard in the crowd is, rather than just more casual strangers. Even if you have your own isolated region with 'friends only' access because of this... again, the stalker has made you alter your behaviour.

* * * * *

Most powerful of all is not even muting, and simply *not caring* for another second. Give it a try! It's liberating.

are u crazy!
1) quit runnin!
if ya catch em on ur land DO NOT ban eject! freeze em an toy with em until they log off (if you make it very clear in a notecard that anybody comin to ur dump is subject to assault LL doesnt care wtf ya do to interlopers. "If you act tardy we will role play Jump lane puttin his foot in ya a$$!" is what we use. Plan for hours of fun!

2)AR! AR! AR!
feed them fools to the Lindens. If ya take the time to learn how to WRITE an ar and keep aring the Lab WILL deep six these turd stalkers. ultimately you can't keep em off the grid, but if u do it right the fool will have to spoof his mac and be relegated to day old alts and a half hour to make em and lastin like 10 minutes tops ask the Nationalistic Pygmies! (their idea of fun).

3) as for rl my motto is PLEASE come round here actin crazy! I got a trick 4 ya a$$!

I went through something similar here a few years ago and I have to echo the sentiments of the others here: ignoring the person in all their manifestations is your best option. That said, there is some complexity to that approach that demands that you create policies for yourself that you can follow and that you develop a bit of a thick skin

The issue is that you will never know for sure whether the person that you just met and are talking to is in fact your stalker. People can create an endless array of alts and march them out in front of you. This is particularly problematic if there are public places that you predictably frequent or there are groups that you belong to. Your best bet is to just ignore anyone younger than a month or two, and that you be willing to summarily walk away from new acquaintances that you suddenly get a bad feeling about.

I ended up deleting my old account and starting all over again. It worked out, but in retrospect I wish I had held my ground and exercised some patience and discipline.

I can see why some people may need to excercise mind over matter and spend several months in the Shaolin temple learning to adopt Zen like states to mentally block out their stalkers. But for many people that don't run a business, SL is just a goofy world and switching to another avatar is very easy.

Now back to my meditating, I've been recently shot by a griefer's popgun.

Ohmmmmmmmmmmm.


Ohmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

It can be very unsettling....even in SL. Dealing with one now, and have in the past. They will continually threaten to delve into your RL....because delving into your SL is basically harmless and not as huge a threat.....they'll go for the throat....but usually don't have anything to back it up.

Discovered that like Desmond offers.... the less action you take toward them....they seem to settle down....if I make even one subtle action in offense or defense....it riles them up again. Ignorance has become Bliss.

I might take Desmond's advice and even remove them from ban....just as a statement that I don't feel threatened.....I mean, I watch their alts walk into the store all day....so the ban doesn't save you from anything. Is she acknowledging all the alts? and letting them mess with her too? if so, the stalker is getting double satisfaction.

If you do feel compelled to write an AR....make sure it is business like and unemotional. This stalker sends highly emotionally charged messages to me....ranting and raving.....can only imagine what his response to an AR would be....if you remain calm and sensible....let them prove that they are the psycho.

Tell her to hang in there....you sort of have to find a way to laugh at how stupid the whole thing is....surely they've done something so bizarre that you have to crack up. Mine comes to the edge of my property.... wearing a "bodyguard" to protect him from "me"...who doesn't want to be anywhere near him....that is hilarious!....and it puts it all into perspective for you.

LMAO

Definately agree with most everyone else. Can't let them see that what they're trying to do bothers you in the slightest, or even that you acknowledge it at all.
Mute, maybe disallow public access to your land, but that's it.. AR if need be, RL cops if you know who it is.

The problem is the stalker knows about her RL (they lived toghether for about a month). Also its hard to ignore a spinning cube thats been moved on top of you.

Call the Police. ASAP.

Also this stalker has an RL criminal record too.