Where's my bill of rights?

I am a vaccuous and over-priveldged citizen of some zealous self-interested country. I have only ever experienced poverty on TV and feel that my money gives me inaliable rights. Whomever I give that money to has to sign my Personal Bill of Rights. Proclamations are as follows:

1. Everyone has to stop what they're doing and listen to me when I start going off on a rant.

2. McDonalds should have a rewards program to be redeemed for credit at my local gym.

3. I dunno. This is another important rule that I can't think of, but I just needed to fill some space. So listen to it carefully.

4. And finally, nobody is allowed to use the Internet in any such way that it might obstruct my enjoyment of it.

All in all I hope this satire doesn't end up unappreciated in a gutter somewhere. It may be a little trite, but I tried to have some honesty in there.

Here's the message in plain english for those who don't appreciate satire --

There is nothing to govern here.

There is nothing wrong with the way SL is running today.

I don't need anymore rights than I already have.

I certainly don't need your rules.

Go home.

And now to be a little more friendly and promote some discourse -- what exactly is the reason for all of this and what makes it so important/necessary/etc?

I dunno about you, but I wouldn't consider it revolutionary and it has hardly proved useful in the past.

Virtual Worlds are not new here and they certainly are not worlds in and above the world they exist "within." They are easily ruled by the rules governing us right now and you're not going to get a private corporation to give you inaliable rights to control it's chief product.

You don't pay their salaries. You give them money for what they have that you want. It's not like you can walk into McDonalds and tell them to change the BigMac because you buy one every week and think it would taste better with mayonaisse rather than that secret sauce they use.

Now lets get real about this stuff and not so "up in the clouds" so to speak.

Invoice #34121
Rights: L$5500

Payment is due upon receipt of invoice. Please make payment to Introvert Petunia.

WELL I NEVER

Is it OK if I enjoyed the Satire AND the plain english bit?

No. Prepare to be sent to reeducation camp.

That was also my question. Be prepared for the mountains worth of response from our revolutionary "intellectuals" who will write hundreds of pages and yet likely will add nothing more to what you elegantly outlined above

How about a comment from a "revolutionary intellectual" with a wry sense of humor? :

Icon, you have great posture.

Icon, please stop making sense. It's detrimental to forum culture.

And, I might add, its VERY OFFENSIVE to those of us without sense. Really, have some sensitivity.

heheh I hear ya Icon, but don't expect the posts to stop

Article I

After the first enumeration required by the first term of the Terms of Service, there shall be one Liasion for every thousand, until the number shall amount to one hundred, after which the proportion shall be so regulated by Linden Labs, that there shall be not less than one hundred Liasons, nor less than one Liason for every forty thousand avatars, until the number of Liasons shall amount to two hundred; after which the proportion shall be so regulated by Linden, that there shall be not less than two hundred Liasons, nor more than one Liason for every fifty thousand avatars.

Article II

No term of service varying the compensation for the services of Linden Labs and Liasons, shall take effect, until an election of Liasons shall have intervened.

Article III

Linden shall make no Term of Service respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the avatars peaceably to assemble, and to petition Linden Labs for a redress of grievances.

Article IV

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free Metaverse, the right of the avatars to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

Article V

No Griefer shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the Owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by Terms of Service.

Article VI

The right of the avatars to be secure in their avatars, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the avatars or things to be seized.

Article VII

No avatar shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous TOS violation, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Committee of Residents, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger; nor shall any avatar be subject for the same offence to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of Terms of Service; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.

Article VIII

In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the metaverse and sim wherein the crime shall have been committed, which sim shall have been previously ascertained by terms of service, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the Assistance of Counsel for his defence.

Article IX

In Suits at terms of service, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty Lindies, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise re-examined in any forum of the Linden Labs web site, than according to the rules of the terms of service.

Article X

Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive suspensions imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.

Article XI

The enumeration in the Terms of Service, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the avatars.

Article XII

The powers not delegated to Linden Labs by the Terms of Service, nor prohibited by it to the Private Islands, are reserved to the Private Islands respectively, or to the avatars.



oops, almost forgot. You have to add "unless otherwise decreed by King Philip" to the end of each of the above articles.

lol I would demand this title if I was CEO of LL...

Icon has nice teeth too.

So sorry Cory. To make up for it, the next time you make an asinine observation or remark, I'll support you 100%.

Careful, it means you are going to have to show unwavering support to Cory from now on.

I want to stroke you both gently with my Chainsaw of Love™.

ARTICLE XIII Pecan Pie.

What's sad to me about this thread, is I posted a reply and it was deleted overnight. Seriously.

So we have a group of people mocking those who wish to establish virtual rights while simultaneously moderators rob them of the right to hear the opinions of others. You will never have the opportunity to reply because someone made the decision for you that my words shouldn't be seen.

I guess the joke is on you.

~Ulrika~

Now this post will be removed because you are posting about deleted posts. Life is a vale of tears.

I'm ok with that. SL isn't a country, Linden Lab isn't a government. It's a company that sells a product. Why the expectation that they should treat it as anything else but just that? That wouldn't be good for business.

ARTICLE XIV - All animals are equal - only some are more equal than others.

I was thinking a ship of fools, myself.

~Ulrika~

and you are the captain of that ship? sorry couldn't resist hehe