When I first came here in September, I was dazed and confused a lot of the time. Less so now, but still, at times. It was part of the sensory experience and the wonder of Second Life that just drew me in deeper and deeper. The kind of exciting rush you feel when you learn to ride a bike for the first time, or when you do a number of things for the first time.
That's what it felt like to me.But even BEFORE I was in SL, I had done some research on it. I read through New World Notes, SLUniverse.com, and a number of other sites to learn about any technocultural differences and if there'd be any shock as a result of that. I vowed that I would ease into the world comfortably, and if I was ever jarred or startled, I could always tap the Close button. So I read, more and more, learning about those vaunted "oldbies" who came far before, and learning about more recent developments if you will. There were still a lot of holes in the puzzle, but it was a good primer to launch myself off of.
I entered the world as a newbie not knowing what to expect. I know better now, but there are still surprises and amazement around every corner. Shortly after getting used to the control interface and how to navigate around and play trivia, I started to seek out some of the eclectic people I had read about in NWN -- to me, it was kind of like Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, because I was in search of some most triumphant historical personages: maybe some of them weren't around anymore, I wasn't sure!
I felt motivated to proceed, anyhow. I wanted to learn from these veterans of SL... what SL meant to them, and how they felt. I wanted to ask questions, and while listening, gain knowledge. I also personally insisted on treating them with the utmost respect so that I could really get an appreciation for what they had contributed to the world. And by the way, my definition of "veterans" is a really flexible one... it is not bound by rezdate alone but by one's experiences within the gridverse. There are some who were only a month or two older than me but who taught me much, and I am thankful for this.
I liken SL in some ways to taking a vacation to a different country: I am firm yet polite and respectful of what is happening. I learn about traditions and customs and about how people celebrate their Second Lives. I do NOT act rudely and treat this land as if it belongs to me... unless I actually own it, of course.
hehe. An example is this: in America, we don't make a big deal about touching someone's head, but in Thailand, it is severely frowned upon and VERY rude. I have taken care to ask numerous people what customs are like in here, and how they differ from sim to sim, and even av to av. And yet, even with so much diversity, I would like to see a unity.I came to the forums a few days later without so much as making a big introductory post, but just started posting and conversing, hoping to learn more. Sharing jokes and having fun and discussing more serious issues in a way that I would hope comes off as respectful. I was warmly welcomed -- notable messages I got include those from BuhBuhBuh Fairchild and Darko Cellardoor, and it's funny because those are two whose NWN stories I had not read... YET!
As a person, both online and offline, I cannot relate to many human hierarchies or "pecking orders". I have had "class differences" explained to me and while I can see unfairness and unjust treatment on Planet Earth, in here, for me anyway, it is the kind of "imploding psychology" that I am referring to: it becomes quite big in some people's minds, and the pressure of it all crushes everything in on itself. A hyperbolic atrophy of what is wrong in here. Which, I think, is sad. I just don't "get it".
Because of Asperger's Syndrome, a form of autism which I have: I do not have common sense, and I do not have an easy time reading body language or facial expressions. My former lineage of emotion is limited, and while it's better now, I still have a long way to go. I have obsessions (you may have noticed), and while it's hard for me to get interested in some things, when I do get interested, I really enthuse about it. I have learned a lot about human behavior being in SL, and I know I am not the only one who has benefited in this way. Second Life, while it filters out some things, is really an extension of who I am, and I like building these bridges and connecting.
Speaking of connecting, I have never set any limits for myself in SL. If I wanted to go to a club, then I went to a club. If I wanted to try my hand at building, I'd dabble with it for a bit -- even with embarassing results. Oh well! And then I'd go from one thing to another. One of the things I do not get involved in, however, are vicious rivalries and fights. Some of my best friends inworld are worst enemies, and while this saddens me, I continue to extend my hands in friendship, hoping that at the least, if we cannot agree, that we can get along. I have friends who are goons and furries and cyberpunks and theologians and aviators and giant mechas and extraterrestrials and anime characters and more. Before I met the Midnight City Crew, I heard rumors that they were snooty snobs. I'm glad I didn't listen to those rumors, and I just went right ahead and met some of them at the Spook House when that was up at old Umber. (Before "Umbeach" of today.)
There are some people in SL who I am now good friends with who I did not like at first because of my own prejudicial baggage which I am in the process of unloading. Some people seemed "cold" to me just because they did not use smilies or because they worded things a certain way. As I mentioned, I have communication difficulties: some people think it's so easy for me, but really, it's not. It takes a lot of patience. I struggle -- sometimes I'm very frustrated! However, as long as they were reasonable and civil to me, I extended the same grace to them as best as I could. And I made myself spend time with them, to learn where they are coming from, and in doing so, I grew to understand them better, and vice-versa.
I am a Basic account holder. I don't own land, nor do I want to at this point: but I leave the option open, should I want to in the future. Same with me possibly building or scripting stuff. I do not shut the doors I may yet travel through... in the meantime, I am a wandering nomad and an able homebody at the same time. I have my usual hangout joints, but I also like to jaunt around the gridverse hyperkinetically. I do not feel any class of "Elites" tromping down on me, nor do I feel that LL wants to pressure me to leave SL. While I do not agree with all of the Linden family's decisions, I do have my faith in them. Second Life has come this far already, and it's a miracle it even works at all. Exclamation mark!
I feel it is important in threads that involve heated issues such as the redundant "Is SL a game?" that we persistently remember to acknowledge that each opinion is a personal one, and no one speaks for someone else unless explicitly stated otherwise. Otherwise, we're just taking shades out of the rainbow, and while some of those tones may not appeal to me, I want to expand my horizons. To go beyond. And when in doubt, to ask questions: to see to clarify, to communicate, and to have a good time. Why don't more people ask each other questions? I don't get it.
Last night, I met an honorable person by the name of Bel Muse. She showed me a Penis of Grief. It was cool.
I like pragmatism, altruism, humanism -- and other things which I'll have to invent words for because it's quite ineffable to me as to how to express them forth. Every day in here for me is a blessing, and I'm disappointed to see recent personal attacks, both on myself and others. The world has enough pain and suffering, and hey, on a humorous note, I think Jeska and Robin have enuff trouble as it stands.
So, here are some Torley's own rules about SL, passed down from Sr. to Jr. -- an incomplete-yet-expanding code of conduct that I follow. These are personal to me, but if you'd like to do them too, feel free! I can't always get it right, but I try:
-embrace contradictions
-don't leap before looking: feel free to thoughtfully ask questions... learn more!
-sometimes, things don't change, but the way you look at them does
-make new labels, and then shatter them: reinvention is part of the constant of change
-spend time with loved ones instead of hating people you aren't compatible with, 'cuz you'll never get that time back
-avoid negative redundancy -- it's a root of not only forum troubles, but substance abuse and vicious lifecycles... BREAK THE LOOP!
-when you're happy, smile
-at times, it's alright to be sad, but it's even better to be happy
-if you really like something, take the time to let the person know
-on that same note, share what you enjoy... keep the positivity flowing!
-consider context and fill in pieces of the puzzle before leaping to conclusions
-be wary of listening to people who won't listen to you. I see this on the forums a lot, and if after a few cursory "tests" I figure a thread is getting out of hand and plunging into flames BECAUSE EVERYONE IS SHOUTING!!!, I quietly go elsewhere. Communicating is about exchanging and reciprocity and on here, good interpersonal skills are important. It's a DISCUSSION board. Otherwise, it's like chatting up quantum string theory with a bag of moldy bread! SAY NO TO ONE-WAY STREETS. ^_^
-one word means different things to different peeps. If I say "God" or even "dog", what does that mean to you and what do you see in your head? And how would you share that mental picture? There ya go!
-send in your bug reports and type them neatly so that the Lindens's job will be facilitated... they ARE listening but can't reply to everything. Hang in there, be polite but persistent!
-if you're nice to me, I'll do my darndest to be nice to you
-hang out in the Welcome Area and greet newbies... give 'em a warm welcome! First impressions ain't everything, but for me, they DID make quite a -- uh -- impression
-use the handy, preexisting resources that are available to you, like New World Notes and the SL Forum Archives -- I'm surprised how many people don't know about these
-it's alright to make some mistakes, but do try to ameliorate
-if you majorly mess up something in the sandbox and it blows everyone else away (literally, like a bomb), apologize immediately
-try something sooo unlike you, for a day. Who knows, you just might like it.
-don't take flying for granted, and don't take flight scripts for granted either!
-If you are touched, then you have been moved.
-consider the Neon Watermelon
-sometimes, there are no words
-*noddles*
-remember that you are in motion on the road of life, and Second Life
-there are groups, but in your personal dealings, it comes down to each unique individual
-don't argue with someone you don't respect
-given the social environment of Second Life, don't underestimate the power of interpersonal skills
-be careful of how you express sarcasm in text, and consider using emoticons when possible @_@
-remember the SL forums are like pro wrestling:
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-look to your wise elders for sage advice, and bow... at the same time, observe the childlike qualities of the young, and admire that as well
-after you have learned a considerable amount, take time to help -- those who need help!
-these problems will all look so small in hindsight
-be fun
And so, in Second Life, I continue to Enjoy, Explore, and Experience.
I just wanted to share (part of) my story.
Thank you graciously.
