Perspective?

So.. I sit tonight watching American Idol with my daughter. She is 6 years old. She is autistic. She loves to sing and dance.. she loves anything to do with it. She also currently reads at a 4th grade level. We are still trying to potty train. Today was the first day ever that she went up to another child and asked if they wanted to play (she put her hand on their shoulder and the teacher had to ask her what she wanted..but she did it!!)

There comes a time when we seriously have to sit back and ask what means most. What makes us go forward. SL to me is a world where we have a second chance.. at the same time it is still VERY MUCH a real world to me.

I watch my daughter daily. Amazed as she looks over my shoulder at this second life and the first. And I wonder who will accept her. Who will understand when she needs them to.

I am so very accepting of so many. I often despise actions, but not the persons.

Why is it so hard for others? I am withdrawn from SL for various reasons these days. The *only* thing that is keeping me in SL right now is the Neualt project. And at least that I can do from a distance. I've lost many friends since my decision to stop holding back. But I'm not upset about that now. I just wonder how many people realize what they will miss in the future if they don't pick their battles.

I ramble now. So I'll stop. Life just has a funny way of making you put things in perspective... why should a second life be any different?

Thanks for that, Pen... this was beautiful.

You can battle me all ya want Pen, I will still stick with ya.

You're a good person, Pendari.

~Ulrika~

*GIANT HUGS!* Thanks for sharing that Pen. I'm glad you're still here

Pen,

Although most reading this probably won't pick up on the fact that this is about your disillusionment with many of the people in SL you have considered friends during your time in here, knowing how you have been feeling about certain things, it was not lost upon me. Please don't let it get you down - the cult of small minded, holier than thou idiots who take a whack at you and others that are too stupid to separate the group from the individual, and the persona from the person are not worth wasting any time over. You have so much in your RL to contend with, don't give a second thought to the pettiness of those people that upset you so much over ridiculously unimportant shit in SL. You do have true friends who don't let disagreements betray friendships, and who do know how to put things into the proper perspective. A perspective without you around is not one I want to have. Thank you for sharing this - those that it is lost upon are the very people who inspired it in the first place. Listen to those who do know you, and who do care for you, myself included, and don't give the rest another thought.

Pen - True, we don't know eachother well, but at some critical moments in my SL experience, you have been an encouragement to me. I have always found you to be gracious, supportive and so very kind. I have personally given up on trying to figure out why people do the things they do. You are one of those rare and special people, and I sincerely hope that you come out of this stronger and wiser, but not jaded. People like you are just too rare. So for what it's worth (and it's probably not a whole heck of a lot ), you got a friend in me.

Hugs,
Paolo

Pen that was truly beautiful. Thank you. One love!

People can be thoughtless, have little empathy. Within the real world, let alone sitting behind this magic little box. Where you don't have to see a tear or a frown, a hurt expression or anguish. From what I know of your a fun and wonderful lady. I
hope you feel you have a place here and your daughter always has a place in the real world and even beyond.

What Paolo says hold true for me too Pen. Isn't amazing how something so quickly passing in a fraction of a moment like a hug from a child can put things into perspective for a lifetime.

You hang in there girl - you are an amazing woman.

The only distance is the time it takes to send an IM.

You are one beautiful and talented lady.

I'm fortunate to know you.

Pen, I'm so sorry to hear that you are catching flak from SL friends about your projects. I hope you don't let this deter you from what you really believe is worth devoting your time to.

I have some first-hand experience with dealing with an autistic child since my five-year-old son was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome (a form of autism, as you know) last summer. He's not as severely affected by autism as your daughter is, by my estimation; still, he's "different." I think as he gets older and learns more ways to compensate for some of his differences (being unable to gauge the appropriate way to react in many situations, difficulty dealing with various social situations, a "me first-always!" approach, monotone speech, etc.) perhaps he will be able to blend in with others. At least I hope he will. And then sometimes I'm ashamed that I hope that, because, in so many ways, his Asperger's seems to be such an integral part of who he is that I feel like an awful mother for wanting him to rearrange his personality to suit everybody else.

But, I suppose that's the way "real life" society works. We must adapt to thrive, sometimes just to survive. So, I spend a lot of time trying to help my son figure out how to learn by rote how to deal with his world ("You have to sit down and be quiet when the teacher tells you to, or she will send you to the principal's office because you are disrupting your classmates; don't chase the kids and growl like a dinosaur on the playground, you might find it fun but you are scaring them," etc.). If I didn't work at helping him learn this, I would further reduce his chances that he will someday be able to function in society like everybody else.

I find SL refreshing because we don't have the same restrictions put on our second lives as we do in our real lives. We don't have to be particularly nice to anyone if we don't want to, we can look exactly the way we want, we don't have to mow our lawns or put gas in our cars, we don't have to buy exactly the right car or the right clothes or go to church (or feel traces of guilt about not going to church ) or pretty much anything else. All we have to do is log in and "be." We can set our own course, choose our own thing, and as long as we're not violating TOS or CS, or bugging somebody else, it's pretty much wide open. I really, really hope it stays that way.

I say good for you for not "holding back" on SL issues that are important to you, if that's what you want to do in your SL. SL should be about making the choice that best suits each of us, and not having something forced on us that we don't want or that makes us unhappy, or feeling as though we need to hide the way we feel about something just to suit a certain group of people. If it makes you happy, Pendari, do it and don't look back. You've always been top-drawer in my book, and will continue to be so.

Just slap those asshats up the side of the head. Maybe it will jog thier brains back into proper alignment.

There are plenty of people who wuvs you Pen!

Frankly, if your friends stop being your friends because you chose to speak your mind and they disagreed with what you said or who you sided with or whatever, then I would venture that they aren't really your friends and you're prolly better off without people who would think that way.

Much of the time I'm on the same side of the fence as you anyway but even if I sat here and argued with you all day on the forums, I'd still wanna hug you as soon as I see ya inworld because you're a sweet and wonderful person

Actually, wait... I just remembered... you like Ulrika! And the notion of player governments! You suck! I'm not talking to you no more!

*hugs*

Sio, how in gods name is turning everything you touch to Neon Watermelon and proclaiming that you're time travelling greefer kin going to help in this situation?


And yes, Pen! Come hang out in Mocha any time. We is friendly folk! Well. Except for that grumpy Francis, who will most likely just view you as a test target for some nefarious new griefer weapon in development.

Embrace the neon watermelon and be saved.

Simply beautiful Pen ! You really did make me stop and think. I know I have been on the offensive as far as Neualtenburg is concerned, but I want you to know that I definitely can separate the individuals from the group. You are one that I hold in utmost high regard even if you do like Ulrika. Your ability to be so kind and willing to lend a hand to anyone at almost anytime inspires me. I aspire to become more like you and less like Korg (shudder) Thank you for sharing a most intimate portion of your real life with us and hopefully enlightening more folks.
Your friend.

Awwww Pen

We have only really met once IW, at the Forum get together, you were charming, funny, witting and lovely, much like you are on the forums

Your story is lovely, as are you

Hang in there hun, I did and I found a wonderful guy

Hey Pen, 'Keep your chin up'

You have more true friends in SL than you know. Friends that don't judge you on your mood at the time or whatever is getting at you from a post or arguement. Friends that stand by you and support you.

Hang on in there. We are with you. Seek us out anytime.

Garth & Pituca

Can't imagine anyone not wanting to know you. Everyone knows you rock and your heart is in the right place . You bring something special to the table no matter what you do and I've witnessed as much with the Neualtenburg project....still haven't seen you in police tape though

I HIGHLY encourage you to witness this !!!!!

I've been highly encouraged to witness this....it's getting Pen highly encouraged to do it thats the problem

Oh purlease. You're kidding, right? Any excuse at all and our Pen will happily shed her clothes

*hugs* too right Pen. Life (any life) is too short to waste time being intolerant & unkind.

& as for friends who aren't your friends anymore because you are no longer holding back..well if they really were your friends to start out with they would accept you being you. That's good enough for anyone.

*hugs*