All of your questions answered!!!!!

I'm Eternal. I've been here for a long time and I'm getting really bored. (no I can't kill myself) So for this one time only, just for fun, I will be answering all the questions you mortals ever wanted to know. I know almost everything that has ever happened and things that have a high probablility of happening in the future so ask away. Lets have fun with this. I will answer any question except questions on the secret to eternal life. That will cost you 50L at least.

Ask away.

OK, here's one.... what's the deal with Smurfs? Why was there only one female? Was she the mother of all the others, or did they reproduce in some other way, or were just a finite number of them created in a laboratory or something? I always thought they were kinda creepy.

Uh, hey, is there a fee for having questions answered? I don't have to fill out forms in triplicate or anything, do I? Only I don't have a pen on me at the moment....

What is it like to see through the eyes of another person? Are colors the same? If we both call something "red," do we actually see the same color? What if what I see as "red" they see as the color I call "blue," but they call it "red?"

Have you seen my Slinky?

Hey yeah, and how about that CD I burned with the little dog on the cover? Where is that? I've been looking for it for months.

Would you like to see my baseball?

How do I shot web?

Ah Smurfet. That brings back memories. Some good and some bad. I don’t normally like beer, but Smurf-Juice beer is the BOMB!! But trust me, you don’t want to know what’s in it. I mean, it’s named Smurf-juice. Anyway, the truth of the matter is that the Smurfs ™ were hermaphrodite worker slaves of the Reptilians. They all have both male and female organs. Because the Reptilians ran a chauvinistic society almost all Smurfs adopted male personas. This put all the slaves on equal footing without having to deal with the sexism of their masters.

After the Great Smurf Revolt several hijacked slave transports crash landed to Earth. They set up secret entirely male(like) civilizations underneath England. One day an English college filmmaker caught a Smurf on Tape. The poor chap had to be assassinated to keep the secret from becoming revealed. However one Smurf (Vanity) after seeing himself on camera couldn’t let go of the limelight and deliberately himself in Hollywood. Thus the Hit Television show began. Although pretty much all of the Smurfs had male personals at the time, the Hollywood producers insisted that there be some females on the show. They said that the little kids wouldn’t understand. Only one Smurf stepped up, and became known as Smurfet.

This made the show more acceptable. Well this and having them cover their sex organs with those funky hats.

Believe it or not, everyone sees colors in different intensities. Not everyone's opticle receptors are as sensitive as others. Some colors might seem dimmer to one person than it would to another. People with lighter color eyes don't see as much detail as people with darker color eyes, but they see everything brighter, however this tends to burn out their receptors after a while.

Colors however are generally the same in the fact that most people experience different frequensies in the same way. The exception to this being Gay people. Most gays actually fall into the classification of an evolved form of human with an evolved since of color and style.

Yes, Using the Eye of Thundera to give me sight beyond Sight I see that your slinky has been stolen by the collector. That means that you either left it by the dryer for too long and it got sucked into the collector's portal along with your socks, or one of his gremilns got it while running through your house opening and closing your doors. They like toys.

It's under a bunch of papers and stuff. You really need to clean up!

I knew it was the Gremlins... I shouldn't have fed them after midnight d'oh Well if they get tangled up in it...I'm not helping.

If space has boundries or an end... then's what's just on the other side?

I have 2 questions please? Both burn within me as I yearn for the answers!!

First - JFK, Who shot him? Just Oswald? If it were a conspiracy, who were they?

Second - I have 4 cats. What are their secret names?

Before time started I made a bunch of copies of myself, but everytime I made a copy I became the copy! I don't know what happened to the originals though. But since you said you were an eternal, are you one of my copies? Or am I a copy of you?

You never answered my question

Oh my goodness. I'm giving away the secrets to everything here and you ask me such a simple question like this. Bah, I'll answer this, but please refer all future easy questions to Stephen Hawkings.

The Physical universe contains space and time, what people refer to as "Space-Time". The gods simply refer to it as "The Mortal Channel" which is channel 666 on most niether world cable TV providers.

Space and time only exist within the physical universe, so there is nothing "physical" outside the boundaries of this universe. As you get to the boundaries of this universe both space and time become very warped. Infact the closer you are to the end of the universe the slower time progresses and the larger space gets relative to yourself. This means towards the ends it takes much longer to get somewhere. It a parabola. As you go towards the end, time gets infinately slow, and the size of space gets infinately large, relative to you. So even though there is an end, you would never ever get there (using a physical mode of transportation).

Imagine standing outside your house. Now walk towards your house, but only half way. Repeat this forever, each time you are only allowed to move half the distance between yourself and your house. Eventually you would get extreemly close, but you would never get there.

Ouside of the physical universe ofcourse lay other dimentions where space and time do not exist. The physical universes, all of them, are sort of enveloped by these other dimensions. People often wonder if there are other "alternate" or "paralel" universes existing at the same time as this one. This question is absurd because there is no time separating these universes. Each one has it's on time and space, so between physical universes, or as the gods call them "creations", time is irrelavant.

But everyone already knows this. Ask something hard next time.

No thanks I've seen many "baseballs" in my time.

Amoung the few questions that I can't answer include the ones I can't understand. Please reapeat this, gramatically correct in any Earth language and I will try my best to give you and answer.

Ok fair enough. So why is it franks and beans instead of vice versa ?

Because everyone knows that the Hot dog is the star and the beans are just the supported actors. LOL

Alright, since the end is almost, um, never mind. Let's just say there's no harm in revealing the truth anymore. JFK was taken out by time travelers. The CIA thought they were Extra Terestrials and covered it up. The time travelers provided the scape goat. Oswald was an un awair sleeper pawn. JFK is assasinated in every timeline where he becomes president.

Two factions of the Illuminati are currently fighting against one another. They both want control over every creation (alternat universe) If one side manages to create their ideal world with a strong enough arm in any creation, they can use that universe as a base to attack and take over other paralel universes. JFK was sacrifised to keep one side from becomming more powerful than the other.

Ummmmm, say what? Didn't you say this in an earlier answer?



You said there are no alternate universes, then you say there are. HUH?

And what about my cat's names?

Inducted as a member of the Cat Leage for Advancing the Whiskered Shadow Society(C.L.A.W.S.S.) over 2 centuries ago I was sworn to never reveal a cat's secret name. If gives humans true power over them.

Two questions...

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

- and -

Is Bill Gates truly a technology pioneer with a grand entrepeurial spirit who deserves the billions that have fallen his way, or is he a geeky nerd who happened to be in the right place at the right time?

- Ace