What do men/women find attractive in a mate?

Brains.
Sensitivity.
Flexibility. ALL kinds of flexibility

Pirate hat with a BIG feather.

PANDASTRONG FAIRPLAY!!! ...mmmm...yummy

David is perfect

Maybe, you could be in that small percentage, but it is hard to prove unless you happen to have hard evidence to the contrary. Not that I'm requesting such hard evidence.

I'm convinced, opinion of course, but I'm convinced that most people feel compelled to rank good looks lower on their list when asked than it actually is... If there was some butt ugly guy who was 100% honest, 100% reliable, etc <insert X good trait here>, could you really ignore that butt uglyness? I guess it depends on HOW butt ugly we're talking, but I'm not confident that everyone is being honest with themselves. I've caught myself at times behaving in this way. It could just be me, but I seriously doubt it.

Are we talking Quasimodo or Majormodo?

Hey, butt ugly people hook up all the time... I see ugly couples with ugly kids almost every day. So obviously, looks aren't everything!

As for me, a man that's responsible, has a good way with kids, and has very skilled hands makes me melt. And he absolutely must have a healthy relationship with his mother. Guys with mommy issues are just do not work for me.

In an Oedipal way? Or is that too healthy?

yes, we cannot be fooled by pretty faces and or big muscles here, the inner us is what counts. Amazingly many of the SL 'babes' actually are in RL too *head explodes*

Forgive me as my train of thought is often rambling and really has no structure right now. I would like to express myself on this subject though.

I will say personality and behavior is at the top of my list of things I find attractive. Humorous, unique, kind, open-minded/accepting, giving, intelligent, honest, flawed, some inner strength. These aspects are in no real order for me, as I find it hard to place levels of importance when they are all aspects I cherish.

I will admit appearance does have initial importance, but I would like to clarify on this. I find myself the minority when I say honestly that appearance is not significant for me in the long run. My mate will be someone I spend my lifetime with and they will age - as I will. The aging process is not attractive to many people and I would go so far as to say the majority of people would choose at least a middle aged version of themselves if not younger if they had the option to. If anyone truly wants to live with another human being for their entire life, looks will hold no importance. But perhaps they simply pray we find a way to avoid the aging process or they die before they have to deal with aging? No one's sex organs will last forever, so you will be forced to actually like someone for more than what they can give you sexually. Unfortunately, few people think of the long term and end up in a hellish relationship that they simply will not break from for their own reason(s) or hop around and make the same mistakes over and over, which may lead to them settling.
When I note someone as attractive physically it does not fit into the stereotypical view of beauty. Every single aspect of appearance I can break down to the roots of why I find it attractive or unattractive - something I am fairly accurate and gifted to be able to do. They all relate to my past experiences as well as general education.

I will try and illustrate a few examples that may help me get my point across:
I do not initially like light blonde hair on anyone, this comes from my own experiences with people having a lack of intelligence and a conformer. I think about Aryan ideals as well as recessive gene traits made prominent from inbreeding which links to my thoughts of blonde people being overall intolerant of difference. I know that is a bit excessive, but this is my schemata and why it is not a trait I will compliment or even seek out in anyone. However, I have ran into attractive blonde people - they were attractive because I interacted with them and got to know them. Looks tell me something about people, but I am always willing to learn about anyone. If they prove contrary to their appearance they do fall into the attractive category - and somehow my view of these initial appearances change slightly.

I find hairy men to be more attractive than hairless men. I think this is linked to dominant gene traits as well as my taste in humor. My favorite comedians are Zach Galifianakis and David Cross - both may shave but I when I recall or think of them my image is of them being scruffy. My current boyfriend, several of my friends, and members of my family who share this trait are some of the more amusing and fun to be around people that I know.
I don't like people because they're on TV all the time, I don't like people because everyone else does, I don't like the biggest and/or best people. I do not like people for superficial reasons that do not matter to me.

Whew, sorry to be so longwinded with this post! Just wanted to try and express my feelings on this topic because I often think I am alone in feeling the way I do.

Take two parts Ann Coulter
One part Laura Ingram
A dash of Laura Bush
A heaping helping of Carmen Electra.
Mix well.

lol, no, not that bad. How about someone otherwise normal but with one or two noticeable flaws? I don't know...

Sure there's ugly couples, and HUGE ones too--but they pair up for a reason. And the reason is that almost nobody who is a certain "level" better looking than them will ever give them the time of day. The impressive example is someone good looking dating someone not so good looking (let's not go to quasimoto level)--say uglier than an average person. But this is very rare unless there's golddigging involved.

I think about 3/4 of people, and I'm pulling these statistics out of my ass of course, but I'd say that around that many will settle for "average" or better attractiveness. That's where I fall in anyway. If they meet the minimum standard of average-or-better-attractiveness, THEN I think it's safe to start talking other traits. I guess this is the reasonable approach since most people IMO behave this way, but that means we absolutely need attractiveness in our traits list, somewhere.

BTW, how come I haven't seen these yet? (at least among the 20-30 aged crowd since that's the only range where they could be a major problem)

Maturity
Reliability
Independence
Masculinity/Femininity
Work ethic or decent career/job

You could probably include knowledge and experience here too--the wisdom type not the brainiac college smarts type. Or another--do they need someone to help out every time they need to do something new, or do they handle it themselves? etc I'm betting that the lack of some of those will really turn alot of people OFF, that's why I mention it.

I would consider that one of the most unhealthy mother/son relationships ever. Besides, I'd have no chance of hooking up with an Oedipal guy... he's already got a girlfriend!

Alby?

ummmmmmmmm lesbians....

Negz. But Alby is a good guy.

Oh, please Kiamat - you're secretly after me, and you *know* it.





sorry man, couldn't resist!

In response to Rhyntha's post, I'd quote but ... well, it's up there^^:

I understand a little what you mean in finding certain traits unattractive or attractive that doesn't fit the typical beauty. I also find myself drawn and repelled to certain features, but it's because of what I've studied in college or just for interest. Because, in addition to genetics, I also took an interest in a feng-shui sort of study of the face.

It was interesting since there are interpretations like, say, for the distance of the eyes, the nostril width, shape of the lips. It's like Palmistry but with the face. I loved it and still carry a little of that with me today. I sometimes find myself people watching, "reading" faces.

I once had a boyfriend who everyone considered was "gorgeous." But one day, I asked him to let me read his palms, when I did, I found myself repelled by what I saw. I still tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, but he soon displayed the negative traits I interpreted from his palm. And later on, when I learned some face reading, it backed it up.

It's not a means to judge people on their looks, I thought it just gave me a preamble to their personality. I love "reading" facial features, palms, handwriting, signatures. It doesn't really make sense until you interact with the person though. Even how one shapes their face in SL could say something about their personality, well as long as it's still of human descent.

But the weird thing is ugly guys walking around with hot girls...
Hah, I rule, cuz I'm all of those, plus I'm sooooo modest! Too bad I'm taken, nyah nyah.

And what? Pour down the garbage disposal?

Gah. Nooooo. That Ann Coulter is too damn bony, she'll break the disposal.

Give me a guy that can cry when he hurts and not lash out instead , laughs when life gets hard , fucks me like God would fuck me, and I will be all set !

**************************************************************************
I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me.

That is really interesting Lash! Palmistry has been very intriging to me, it is also very cool to hear that you can do that with the face too. A person's face is very unique, just as one's palms. I always wanted to learn about this myself, I just do not have (or have not found) reliable resources to really do so. And I agree about not prejudging, or at least trying to keep an open-mind about someone until you do interact with them. It is like reinforcement or a clue to help me find my way through a crowd at a party. I think I have developed a sort of "rudimentary" person reading myself, just by observing traits of my own human interactions. The most common physical traits that I find/found associated with the personality I enjoy start/ed to compile into my attractive schemata. Thank you for sharing, it makes my day.

for some reason, i just don't imagine god being that great of a fuck. i think the devil would offer up a better time as long as he left the S/M stuff at home.

lol trust me ..the devil I tried him...other than his horns..he 's pretty stingy !